Quick mind-clearing rant

[Raz]

I've a normally very seclusive person when it comes to talking about myself or feelings, but I really needed a vent for this stuff. Why not post it on Word and just erase it? Because I'm interested in other's thoughts. You don't need to reply to this or not, it's just me making sense out of "High School Drama" that I've tried so deseperately to stay away from.

The Background Info
For the first time since coming into HS, I've been able to maintain an adverage of a high B to a low A in all my classes. Recently I found that I hated both the style the class was being taught and certain people in my History, so I decided to start deceasing the amount of homework I turned in that class (bad idea) but I did it anyway. Coupled with that is a selection of females ranging from freshmen to senior who "have a thing for me" and show it on a regular basis when they are around, only in a low key way though.

For the past month I've been pulling every string I can to unravel my History class in every way possible, down to the core of why I don't want to be in there till I managed a conferance between the teacher, her assistant, my counculler (sp?) and me.

Me being the warm hearted, none-heart-breaker type I heard one of the girls happend to be sending me this strange sort of "card/candy" thing the school offers as part of it's attempt to snatch as much money from the students as possible. The recipiant received the card/candy during class hours before our respective lunch break, therefor whoever got what from who could thank or argue with whoever sent the damn thing. I guessed sending one to her wouldn't make me feel as bad as if I had gotten something without sending it, so I did.

Back Up To Speed
I've been going to the school football games for a while now, ever since the start of junior year I've participated in the who social act of heading out at 7PM to catch my school playing either a home or away game to come home at around 10. Of course, since this was a social event, those whom pester the hell out of me IN school have to do it OUT of school. Thus pretaining to the selective few females who attempt to gain me giving an eye to them, though it was just the sophmore and senior they still drive me insane. One is in band and the other is colorguard. For those of you who aren't 'activity-savvy' as the rest, colorguard is basically a group of those who couldn't make cheerleading or didn't want the prepy bowlegged side of being a cheerleader.

Anyway, the awkward part of this is that the senior and sophmore are related, which just makes everything really strange considering the senior's laidback approuch to all this... probably the better part of her.

Also, I happen to know the sophmore's ex, who knows she has a thing for me and bugs the crap out of me about it every chance he gets. Thing is, I was talking to this one girl over a sister site to "Myspace" called "MyYearbook" who seem to have the exact music, movie, appeal, and additude as what I was looking for. So I decided to talk to her a bit. Started out with a few messages, since I met her over a profile site, I basically already knew her name and surprising to me that she lived a good three to four hours north of where I am. Though I don't have a liscense till senior year, I could still bus myself up there for the weekend once my job search comes to an end. Till then we resorted to talking over the phone... the first phone call lasted seven hours. It was around six in the morning when we finally got off, though it seemed like a half hour.

She was basically everything I was looking for all packaged up and sent three hundred miles away to torture me, but I found her. After a while I found out that her friend suggested the "MyYearbook" site to her and she registered a good three or so days before mine. She doesn't believe in any religions, but isn't against god, just believes that there is 'some force' working out there that we know nothing about. I thought that was fine, even when she related our meeting to something of fate rather then coincidence, so everything sounded like it would work out.

In the past she held a long distance relationship with a guy, who turned out to be a complete asshole and told her off in front of his friends over the phone, so I understood what she had been through. But the more we talked the more she began to think we were perfect together, and I did too, to the point where not even two months in and I admitted to loving her.

All this time the drama I was avoiding at school began to add up, people talking and getting the sophmore better into the idea that I had a thing for her... the senior finding out I had a girlfriend, beginning to tell me to dump her or give her the one I met over the internet's phone number so she could break us up and me to have her instead. And the freshmen? Over in the corner giggling to her friends about how cute I was... pfft, freshmen... Well apparently the sophmore got ahold of my Myspace account and was looking through to see that the girl I met over the computer had left some messages on how much she loved me, and got confused because I was being nice to her and stuff.

Oh, the junior that had a thing for me? She's with my brother, a sophmore, which is kind of strange cause she wants a hug from me everytime I see her...

I've been through my freshmen and sophmore year without so much as a side glance from a girl, and now I've got all this? The bloody hell happend to "Chris who?" or "Oh, the freshmen football player? No, he's a loser." This didn't happen overnight, I'm sure of that, so I'd like to know when it did. Life is confusing enough trying to find your place in the world, I honestly don't need any other factors involved.

So that brings me to my current position.

I have a girlfriend. She lives three hundred miles from me and I love her.
I have a stalker. She's trying to break me and my girlfriend up.
I have a problem. I'm nice, and a girl has fallen for me because of that.
I have a admirer. That freshmen who can't talk to me without giggling.
I have a brother. Who has a girlfriend that hugs me.
I have a conscious. I don't want to hurt any of them.

I don't have... an answer to any of this.

Again, this is me trying to sort a few things out. No one has to comment to any of this, and I'd like to think those that do have respect enough for me not to judge me based on this part of my life. In any case, thanks for taking time enough to consider my dilemma.

"Hold me now I?m six feet from the edge
and I?m thinking
maybe six feet ain't so far down."
~Creed

[Ruhiel]

Well shoot, I wish I had some better advice to give you, but I haven't seen such a twisted dilemma like this one. I can't really help you on how to try and sort out the girl issue, as I've never had girls that would fight over me, but all I can suggest is to still be nice to those who like you, but try to get the message across subtlely that you have a girlfriend who you really like. I don't know how you would do this exactly, but possibly calling your girlfriend who lives 300 miles away when they're around (except for the senior/stalker. That might not go so well). They might get the message.

[Hellfighter 17]

What life does to us when we don't play 'er games, huh?

Well, as 20 said, you definitely need to tell these girls that you are not interested in them, though the senior might be harder to deal with, and there migth be side repercussions (wrath of a woman =/), it needs to be done. It is blatantly obvious that you do not wish to hurt any of them, but the longer it goes on, the more it'll hurt when everything finally goes down, and it'll probably have more pain for you from somewhere. That's what life does. It doesn't want you to wait for something to happen, you have to make it happen, yo. So, yea. If yea ever need to talk, my s/n is in my profile, I'm always up for talkin' to people, and this isn't just a generous offer, just so y'know.

[Raz]

Thanks much, think I've got some barrings now for all this. Confusing the hell out of me but I think I can make some changes now, no matter how bad it'll be in return. Might use that offer, HF, I really appreciate it.

Think I'll go burn some time on the guitar, sounds relaxing at this point. =P

[The Not Cool Not Tapion]

Wow, if I were at your school, I would fall for you, too, you are one sexy man =D

But dude, IM me because I just realized we have a LOT in common. No, I'm serious. Lol, IM me, now.

[Toshiro]

Your life is kinda like mine. ^_^

What I'd do:
I have a girlfriend. She lives three hundred miles from me and I love her.Stay with her.

I have a stalker. She's trying to break me and my girlfriend up.
Tell her to back off, failing that, report her to some one offical.

I have a problem. I'm nice, and a girl has fallen for me because of that.
Let it pass by.

I have a admirer. That freshmen who can't talk to me without giggling.
Ignore her, it's a chrush.

I have a brother. Who has a girlfriend that hugs me.
Level with him.

I have a conscious. I don't want to hurt any of them.
Ignore it and do what you gotta do >.>

[Super Buu]

I have a girlfriend. She lives three hundred miles from me and I love her.
If she's living permanently from you it's going to be difficult to maintain a relationship. Then again, absence makes the mind fonder. Better than most modern day relationships where most people believe they have to live together and suffocate each other to the point where both individuals hold nothing but hatred for the other.

I have a stalker. She's trying to break me and my girlfriend up.
Unless your relationship is very flimsy, it doesn't matter. Tell her to eff off.

I have a problem. I'm nice, and a girl has fallen for me because of that.
That's a problem? ?(

I have a admirer. That freshmen who can't talk to me without giggling.
I really... Don't see what's getting you frustrated here.

I have a brother. Who has a girlfriend that hugs me.
Hugging doesn't mean much. Some people are just sociable. If she really does turn out to like you, then you'll just have to say no.

I have a conscious. I don't want to hurt any of them.
If people are screwing up your life without regard to your wellbeing, then why should you care about hurting their feelings?

In all honesty I don't think you have any serious problems. But hey, we all have anger outbursts from time to time, it's good to get things off your chest.

[Raz]

Tapion: Soon enough ^_~ *In process of making new SN... again.* Making one entirely devoted for people at Chubbz, easier for me to remember who's who.

Janemba: Thing is... I could care less about what a couple guys have to say to me, but there's this pulling feeling in the back of my mind that makes me treat *any* girl with at least a shred of respect... unless I have a reason not to like them... meh.

SB: Most likely the reason this doesn't look too big of problems to you is because you're seeing my life through your own eyes, which either won't be around or doesn't need to see the process leading up to the end results. Me? I'm seeing my life through my own eyes... from beginning to end, all the trashing, gory, depressing, enjoyable, happy, loving, hating, confusing parts of it. It's sort of like saying you can take a pause from my life, where as I can't.