CnC game

[Bujin]

Like I told you before, it was a pretty good post, and one of your better ones.

And, like most of the posts I C&C, any correction I could make would just be nit-picking, so let me start with the positives. First off, I thought the post as a whole was mildly amusing and very entertaining -- I liked how you focused on how Aero felt after the fight with 17. It could possibly set you up for loads of fodder later on down the line, so this post was a good start. All-in-all, I could definitely tell how pissed off Aero was, so you were successful to those ends.

Hell, I know I said I'd nit-pick, but any negative I have to say is so insignificant that I won't even mention it. Good job, you bastard. =P

Yeah, I'm a C&C whore: http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showpost.ph...stcount=35

[Zangya]

A very good post, Bujin.

I liked the general feel of it, and Bujin's personality was portrayed very well in your narration. I felt that the wording of it was good, and that the vocabulary was balanced quite well between impressive and common; but of course, using common language every once in a while is, in itself, impressive. Don't want too many big words, after all.

I liked the content of the post, as well. I thought that it played very well into Bujin's goals, though I have to admit, I thought that as someone who has almost forgotten what I read of your work on Day One Early Morning, it was unclear whether Bujin was itching for a fight or cautious, hoping not to get into one. That was influenced by this statement:

Off in the distance, a shadow loomed on the horizon. He gripped the leach, preparing to do…whatever he was going to do if he met another competitor. The shadow grew closer, its advance menacing. However, the new sunlight divided the shadow, revealing a harmless deer. Bujin breathed a sigh of relief – possible death was going to have to wait.

The bolded parts sort of contradict each other. It'd be better if you clarified. Otherwise, a good post.

Overall: 9.5/10; Grade: A

So, I can't decide, so I'm going to let people decide between my Afternoon post and my Morning post.

[Minoshia]

This was a short, simple and pretty well written post i'd say. At some points the description was lacking the vigour im generally used to, but that could just be a difference in styles. I had to use my imagination a bit to picture exactly what was happening, as opposed to say... rad, when i can see everything without having to assume whatsoever. The dialogue was generally good, but bits and pieces of it seemed a bit forced. The whole gokua thing kinda caught me off-guard, but that was due to lack of knowledge... and i was a bit surprised by Aero's non-reaction to you speaking aloud to someone who wasn't there, but that could also be attributed to lack of knowledge (maybe Aero knows you talk to invisible people lol). Overall i though this was an excellent development post between your charachter and Aero, and i thought you nailed pretty much everything. Nice work, keep it up. you've improved ALOT since i went absent awhile back.

http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread....post460729

[Android-18]

That was actually really good, Mino. You've improved so much, I'm impressed. I had read your RP's back when you were fighting for tokens, and here and there afterwards. You also give Mino a really interesting style, I like how you're RPing toward 17.

The only thing you could really improve on is seperating the voice more...but that's just a pet peeve of mine. I had to read a few lines more than once because the italic voice was sudden to me, and right in the middle of a few paragraphs.

Regardless, it was a good read, and you play emotions really well.

http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showpost.ph...stcount=22