Krillin's Task

[Krillin]

Cha-chinka. Cha-chinka. Cha-chinkcha-chinkcha-chink.

A small boy, no more than eight years old, had been very busy today. All day long, he had been pinning up posters all over Heaven. He stapled them to telephone poles, statues, urinals, and small animals. No object was too sacred for this young boy and his ancient stapler. Now, finished with his most recent poster job, he stood back a few feet to give it survey.

--------------------------------
THE FIRST ANAL CRUSTY MARATHON!

That?s right, the very first Crusty Marthon, held by me, Mayor Crusty! This grand race will be so groundbreaking, it is a guaranteed way to secure your place in the anals of history! Don?t miss it!

Registration will be at the Rapsody Pavilion in Heaven. For this special event, the Border Guards of Heaven and Hell will even let warriors from the Place Down Below enter the competition!

Remember, this will be an anal event! If you miss it this year, you?ll have to wait until next year! Be there!

-Mayor Crusty
-----------------------------
Pleased with his work, the young boy skipped his way along to another stapling venue.

((OOC: Just post in here, roleplaying about your character signing-up.))

[Tobias]

Do one for hell =x

[Krillin]

I wasn't entirely sure whether or not we were doing the two starting points.

I'll edit the post and include a relative starting point for Hell.

EDIT: Btw, the sign-up post will be given later. This was just a little roleplay to have in the Afterlife board, where most people have their Judgment topics posted. Just to draw extra attention to it. If I have time, I'll do a sign-up post in a bit.

[Krillin]

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by that. Could you clarify it a bit for me?

[Krillin]

Perhaps three separate introductory posts, one for Heaven, one for Hell, and one for Kaiosama? Each post directing the reader toward the Forum laid out for this Race?

[Krillin]

?Hoo-haw! Hoo-heffaw! Kick him in the pooper!?

Two ogres, on the ever-guarded borders of Hell, were watching a wrestling match on Snobbit Television, cheering one steroid-enhanced fighter to win over another steroid-enhanced fighter. The air around them retained the kind of musty flair gathered from 103 years without a proper bath.

Just before the wrestler performed his signature move, the Armpit of Stolid Strength (A.S.S), a knock reverberated off their door.

Annoyed at the interruption, one ogre scowled, ?Who the hell is it??

In came a small boy, with an ancient stapler in one hand, and a small poster in the other.

?Um?sirs? I?ve got some information here from Mayor Crusty?? the boy stuttered.

Sighing, the two ogres turned off the television and stomped their way over. The boy handed them the poster and, gagging from the stench of it all, ran back three paces and fell over.

The two ogres huddled over the poster, reading its contents.

--------------------------------
THE FIRST ANAL CRUSTY MARATHON!

That?s right, the very first Crusty Marthon, held by me, Mayor Crusty! This grand race will be so groundbreaking, it is a guaranteed way to secure your place in the anals of history! Don?t miss it!

Registration will be at the Rapsody Pavilion in Heaven. For this special event, the Border Guards of Heaven and Hell will even let warriors from the Place Down Below enter the competition!

Remember, this will be an anal event! If you miss it this year, you?ll have to wait until next year! Be there!

-Mayor Crusty
-----------------------------

Laughing at the misspellings of the poster, the ogres hunched themselves over and blared the information through the intercom.

?Attention all you fleabags! Mayor Crusty is having a Race. If you want to join in, come to the South-East-East-West Border #213, and register.?

((OOC: Just post in here, roleplaying about your character signing up.))

[Krillin]

All around him, on his tiny little planet, warriors were training. King Kai had experienced a recent surge in these recruits, mostly attributed to Dante?s Abyss.

They?re starting to wear me out! King Kai thought. I need more food.

One such warrior, an oddly misshapen giant with red hair, could be seen running like mad from a monkey. Another could be seen waxing a car, whose usefulness was questionable on such a tiny planet like this. King Kai was the warden of an Asylum of Warriors.

Below his planet, on the long stretch of Snake Way, a small boy holding what looked like an ancient stapler could be seen shuffling himself along. It was obvious he was tired, and to the point of falling over. In his hand was a single piece of paper, which he held up in the air shortly before collapsing.

King Kai laughed, finding the scene hilarious. Ever since his beginning?s as a Kai (which even he couldn?t remember), there were few things he enjoyed more than seeing a soul run their way to his planet, and find themselves totally and utterly exhausted.

Amidst his chuckling, he beckoned one of his recruits to go down and get the paper. When he received it, he read the contents.

--------------------------------
THE FIRST ANAL CRUSTY MARATHON!

That?s right, the very first Crusty Marthon, held by me, Mayor Crusty! This grand race will be so groundbreaking, it is a guaranteed way to secure your place in the anals of history! Don?t miss it!

Registration will be at the Rapsody Pavilion in Heaven. For this special event, the Border Guards of Heaven and Hell will even let warriors from the Place Down Below enter the competition!

Remember, this will be an anal event! If you miss it this year, you?ll have to wait until next year! Be there!

-Mayor Crusty
-----------------------------

?Wow. What horrid spelling.? King Kai noted.

?Well, are any of you interested? If Bubbles is giving you a hard time,? King Kai snickered, ?this might be a grand time to build back up your stamina.?

Would any of them accept?

((OOC: Just post in here, roleplaying about your character signing-up with King Kai. Don?t worry about transportation to the starting point, we?ll do that.))

[Krillin]

I'd like to wait until at least tomorrow. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll go back through each of these three posts, and edit them as is necessary. Sound good?

[Krillin]

Today was the day. It was time for the Crusty Marathon to begin. In a matter of minutes, the warriors who registered would be transported to the Rapsody Pavilion, a mere one hundred feet from King Yemma?s residence. Indeed, he was the MC of the entire competition, a position he would easily fulfill in two minutes.

As he waited, a few of the participants for Heaven could be seen flying on the horizon, undoubtedly toward this ceremony. A group of servants stood at Yemma?s hand, waiting for the call.

?Sir?? one of them asked.

King Yemma nodded and deeply grumbled. ?Now.?

At once, a large portal opened in Hell and Kaiosama?s Planet, courtesy of the higher beings of Heaven. A single pathway stretched across the back end of the Pavilion, near the final row of seats. Soon, it would be time to start the race.

((OOC: There you have it. Roleplay your character coming in, settling down, and prepare yourself. Tomorrow, we're starting the race.))

[Krillin]

Yemma watched the multitude of faces and glanced at a clock on the wall.

Three o'clock. It was time to begin.

Rising to his feet with a steady tremor, a servant brough the microphone over to the large King, and stood a fair distance away. Rising his hands in emphasis, the large Lord announced, "Welcome to the First Annual Crusty Marathon! Are you guys ready for a great race?"

Two people responded. One in the back gave a whooping yee-haw yodel, while another one in the front began to snore.

Yemma sighed, but continued. "We have just a few things to cover before the event starts, so listen up."

"One, this Marathon will consist of a total of four checkpoints. With those checkpoints and the starting point, there will be a total of Four Legs. You have two days to get from one checkpoint to the next. The final checkpoint will be here, at my Palace. At each checkpoint, you will receive a badge. Unless you come back to my Palace with three badges, you will not be eligible for victory."

"Two, this Marthon consists of a variety of paths which you can take, as evidenced by the Map so wonderfully provided to us by a third-grader and crayons. There are twelve different paths you can take in total, but as has been said, you must pass through three checkpoints in these varying degrees. You may not visit a First Checkpoint, go to a Second Checkpoint, and head backwards to a different First Checkpoint again. You will be disqualified.



Three, along the way there might be obstacles you will have to face. We didn't put them there, but this is the Afterlife after all. Take care with your journey, and you should be fine.

Four, and finally, you will be outfitted with weights. These weights will be attacked to your legs, just above the shin, and will automatically calibrate themselves. This is to keep some of you feistier folks from just flying through the course. This is a foot-race, and we're going to keep it that way."

Attendants rushed around with large donuts with some strange fluid in them, and began to latch them on to the legs of the participants. Some of the warriors resisted, but the attendants were surprisingly strong, and snapped them on easily.

"Oh yes, and don't even bother trying to remove the weights. The same force that is holding you down to the planet is keeping those weights together. Once the competition has drawn to a close, we will automatically dis-attach any weights still in service."

Yemma clapped his hands together, ready to get things moving.

"Then without further ado, the Race has now commenced!"

No one moved. Yemma put his hands on his hips and watched all of contenders.

"That means now. The Race just started. Get your asses moving, and out of my Pavilion."

((OOC: You heard him, the Race has started. The entire event will take place in this forum. Even though you might be at the Heaven (or Hell) checkpoint, we want to keep all topics in this forum for easier access and reading. Just post your topics like this: "Leg #1: King Yemma's to Hell". We will be providing you with obstacles to roleplay about, as a chance to show off your finesse. Now, get out there, and race!))