What to Do? [NO SPAM]

[Aero]

Hey Chubbsians.

It's me. I know I've been away from here for a while. But I've been doin me, no homo. Since April I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that I'm tolerant, but I don't take any shit. I've bought into the Baltimore (Bodymore) sayin "Death before Dishonor". But I've also learned about love, and in a short period of time, discovered the pain of losing love.


That last statement brings me to my question -- What to do? Though I consider myself a tough person, this pain that I feel is unfathomable. It's not from a wound . . . at least not an external one. It's the type of pain that no doctor can fix and some are lucky enough to never experience. It's the pain of love.

I've discovered that love is a very interesting word. It's a word used to vaguely describe indescribable feelings. Also, it has two sides. Love can either make you feel like a fiend after a good fix, or it can leave you like a fiend looking for a fix. If you catch my drift. It can give you the highest of highs, yet do a complete 180 and lash you with the lowest of lows; the latter is what I'm experiencing.

I want her back. I fuckin love the bitch. I really do. Right now I feel like fuck life. Whatever happen happen. I'm not stickin my tail between my legs for nobody. If someone would rob me tomorrow I'd tell the burglar to go fuck himself. Fuck the consequences, because, like I said, there is no pain worse than the one I'm feelin.

So . . . what do I do?

I still txt her daily. She responds rarely. I tlk to her on the phone, but it's mostly me just expressing how much I want her back (I tell her that I love her, but she doesnt believe me. She dont believe shit that come out my mouth), since she doesn't really talk back.

I didn't do her wrong. Never cheated on her, never lied to her. I might not have showed her how much I cared. That's the only thing I'm guilty for.


So what do I do?

I want her back. I don't want to give up on her. She's my world. I'd bust heads over her; twice on sunday. However, she doesn't seem to want and get back with me. She said she lost feelings for me. But how do you undo love for someone? I mean, you can no longer like the person, or no longer want to be with them, but you cant lose love. If you love someone you will always love them, even if you dont ever want to see them again, deep down you still love the person.



So there it is. These feelins have been ripping me apart. the only thing I think about is her. When I wake up, when I go to work, during work, when I get home, when I fall asleep, and then proceed to front of cycle.



What to Do?