League of Legends

[Ashe]

This game. This fucking game.

Look at this fucking game.

Hardest fought First Win ever, and actually was pretty fun.

It starts off where the other team was being pretty dickish to us, trash talking and such in chat because they were stomping us while their Teemo was offline from the moment of spawn. Our Ryze joins game, says "ad" after locking Ryze AFTER we already had Lux, Malz, Trundle, and Famitsu had another AP style character picked as well (we decided we'd just let Trundle do his thing instead of having a true tank, which the opps basically did with Garen).

He then goes straight to top after I was mid, leaving Corki to lane with Lux (we weren't that upset by that, seems decent - sorta). He then proceeds to feed 4 kills to his Garen at top. As soon as Eve hit level 2 laning with Shaco bot (Shaco was intending to jungle, but Teemo never connected), she started roaming and got a quick kill on me in mid due to a critical stun when I tried to run back from my mid tower while Urgot had me in Q locked in range. She roamed lanes owning everyone in her path after (but making sure Urgot got the kills, who was beast with his ult timing) until Shaco and Garen both joined the festivities.

For most of the game, we tried to go back and forth, but Ryze simply stayed top farming away, never calling mia on his Garen, never listening to a thing said, never doing... anything. I literally do not recall a single cage that happened, although others say he did but practically never. I'm talking to the point where Eve was able to bd turrets while tanking them, then drop the inhib. Ryze runs up as she's running away and literally just trades Spell Flux and Overload shots with her while nearly dying and I'm typing "CAGE HER. PLEASE. PRESS W." repeatedly as he just never did do it. He manages to kill her... but never did cage.

He then would just leave while we were defending a team fight on inhib to try to solo dragon - when we were fully geared - giving free kills to Eve who followed him with Mob boots. So he'd just try again. They'd leave dragon knowing he'd keep going there. He would then go to do blue, again ignoring us, even when we were doing baron. Interesting part was when we were almost done with baron one of the times and they hadn't interfered, in comes Ryze to suddenly run across the creep wave towards us, causing Shaco and Eve to instantly take off in our direction from defending mid.

4v5 with a Ryze so incompetent that we actually saw their Teemo reconnect 75 minutes into the game. He then leveled like crazy, but was generally a nice guy as by now we were all damned determined not to surrender - both sides. One of my memorable moments was Shaco congratulating me on timing a Q silence for his rebirth from GA before he could Deceive out, gaining a kill, while another more hilarious time was when I put my aids on a minion in their base, then left, went to the upper grass by their turret to recall. I get into my base and suddenly see me getting a kill on their Teemo who had just respawned from me killing him with my ult before putting the aids down. It took me forever to figure out what happened, when Teemo goes "wow, your dot was on a creep and bounced to me and ate me alive!"

Teemo was able to leave the base with a Banshee's, Bloodthirster, Frozen Mallet, and Zerker's Greaves the first time he left base. I have no idea how, as I didn't think he'd gained gold while offline, but apparently he did, but not levels.

Look at those CScores. Look around, then look at our Ryze. Then acknowledge that Ryze was suicide farming lanes pretty much always (not pushing, there were times he'd just go follow someone and sit in a bush, watch them die to a single Eve, then turn around and run off to afk in another bush. If I tried to do Golem, he'd run in out of nowhere and try to Q for the steal.) Now look at his actual CS remembering that he also had a solo lane and was feeding kills to them because he was UNDER THEIR TOWER the entire first ten minutes. If he died, he'd run straight back top and push to their tower mindlessly. Never responded to chat. Not once, other than a single "..." and to spam ping one time randomly on where he died when the entire team was nowhere near.

I'd rather have had their Teemo on our team than their Ryze.

That said, their Shaco tried to add friend us (I declined as always) but all four of their team were actually really good in that game. 4v5 for that long, and yet WE were on the defensive? The way Eve and Shaco were all over, we couldn't do a damn thing to change that. Eve punished too hard and would drop towers the moment we left. We ALL had oracles (other than Ryze) and she'd still waltz in and get kills (fucking BV - I'd have to aids before ulting her when she nearly dropped Corki in a stun right beside me in base).

Their Garen reminded me of old school Garen actually. Would. Not. Die. In my W with my aids on him, Q hitting him, sometimes ult even (on 48 sec cd with Blue Buff) and TWO OTHER PEOPLE (usually Trundle and Corki) with him just tanking it away and spinning to win it. For at least 6 secs or so. Meanwhile, "FUCK, Eve just dropped an inhib again in like 3 secs - and gone."

I honestly had a blast, other than our Ryze. However, in his defense - at least he didn't build like Athene.