06-09-2006, 01:33 AM
I skimmed it cause I have to sleep, but I have a few things to say.
Your word choice is pretty cool, some different words such as slumber spiced up the writing. I suggest you throw in a few commas, however, to break apart sentences at certain times. It seemed kinda clumsy at parts.
However, you remind me of someone else, but I can't recall. You ever been to Chubbs before, or been on FoF?
Your word choice is pretty cool, some different words such as slumber spiced up the writing. I suggest you throw in a few commas, however, to break apart sentences at certain times. It seemed kinda clumsy at parts.
However, you remind me of someone else, but I can't recall. You ever been to Chubbs before, or been on FoF?