[02] Perform for Gamer!

[Kill Town]

Perform For Gamer!

5-player cooperative event

Summary: Player(s) are sent to a large stage in front of an audience, where they will have to improvise a play. It doesn’t matter what the play is about, just as long as it piques Gamer’s interest. Each player must communicate and cooperate with one another to make the play adequate, and there is an almost infinite amount of props to use. Nothing life-threatening here, just perform a good enough play to pass the event.

Hint: Try not to parody the actual saga. What I envisioned, for the most part, is that each player make up a character for their own character to act out, and then you can improvise a play. Your characters can act multiple parts, if you want, if they change costumes backstage.

Restrictions: None

Participants:

• Belle
• Mr. Zhu
• Orion
• Cain
• Ander

[Cain]

The cyborg looked around for a moment, testing his vision after the previous event. He'd walked outside, seen sunlight, and simply appeared back at the carnival. About the time his stomach started grumbling he'd reappeared. . . here.

"Hold still, hold still," a stooping girl said to Cain, the cyborg sitting in a sturdy but otherwise unmentionable chair. Pads of cloth coated in make-up buffed his face from either of her hands. Her hair was black and tied back in a pony-tail, and her dress was a fairly ritzy t-shirt that strapped at the shoulders and blue jeans. The cyborg thought about stopping her from putting the make-up on him, at which time she smiled.

"Are you nervous?" She stood back for a moment, chewing on her tongue, then swooped back in with her pad and stroked his cheek four times fast. His hand went to scratch his cheek, fingers slightly curled for the action. She stopped him with a light touch from her free hand. "No scratching," she said.

The cyborg laughed at his current predicament. "Am I nervous? They put make up on two kinds of people miss. Dead people and actors, and since I'm talking I must be of the latter group. I haven't rehearsed any lines," He grumbled as she moved toward his pale cheeks with blush. "I don't even know what character I'm supposed to play. Some people get butterflies. I've got albatross' in my belly."

"Afraid I can't help you with your lines," she said, and her soft hands grew wrinkles, as well as her visage, once taut and the popular image of beauty. "But you sure are handsome," she said, taking a step back from him. Her frame stayed petite, though her visible skin was wrinkled. She beamed a smile at the cyborg that made the birds in his belly melt away. "Good luck," she said, and vanished.

The cyborg pondered the event for a moment as he rose and strode around a fairly spartan backstage. "Now where's the mirror?" he muttered, and a mirror sprung up before him, nearly stopping his stride with a crash. Lights rippled on above him, beaming off of white walls.

Cain looked at the image before him for several moments, marvelling at the lady's work. His hair hung in clumped strands of black, visage chalk colored with the blushing cheeks of a prim lady who'd let flee a fart at a prominent dinner. His eyes had comical purple rings around them and the whole of his face itched. "No scratching," he muttered to himself. "Just who the hell am I supposed to be? A mime? Hmm."

The cyborg looked at the mirror for a moment before he started moving. "I'm a horse," he muttered, and air galloped with the aid of flight. Lost in the moment he snorted and reared back his head. As his hair flew back he saw his pale face as that of a horse's, eyes large and brown. The cyborg stumbled backward onto the floor.

"Some makeup," the cyborg muttered, retaking his feet shakily. The birds in his belly were back, squawking and splashing around. "Maybe I should try another one," the cyborg murmured, perhaps a little more comfortable with his surroundings because they were empty.

"I'm a lunatic," he said, eyes springing up to the mirror as he again tossed his hair back. His knuckles hung on slumped shoulders before him as one deranged eye gawked at him, dancing every which way madly, the other white with some sortof prop contact lense. This time the vision before him was less foundation shuddering, as he realized seeing himself act would help with the fear of acting in front of someone else.

An idea sprung into the cyborg's head. "Mirror mirror, who's the craziest one of them all?"

A visage appeared out of smoke in the mirror, it's visage a dramatic mockery of joy on his own pale, blushing face. Half of the drama symbol. "Craziest one of them all?" It said, "You're talking to a mirror buddy. Comprende?"

Cain laughed, unconsciously scratching his nose. "An image of a man that insults him. How about this. Mirror mirror, standing tall what would happen if you were to fall?"

The drama mask completed itself with a frowning version of his own contenance. "If-if-if I were to fall I'd buh-buh-be broken being glass and all."

"Perfect," the cyborg said, giving the mirror a thumbs up. All he saw in return was his own, make-up clad self flashing a thumbs up gesture and a smile. Great now all I need is some more props and a couple more actors. . .

Of a sudden the walls began coming to life with standing cabinets, every inch of the wall covering with new or old crates or drawers. The sound of them springing up, or dripping down, the cyborg thought, was like an elevated plipping of water. As that happened a small note fell from the ceiling. It drifted down like a feather, and then set into the corner of the mirror upright, to be read.

"Every prop imaginable," the cyborg read aloud, and looked at the walls full of various stuffs. "Alright. . . That's half the need. Now what about the actors?" he asked nothing in particular.

[Ander]

Well fan-freakin’-tastic… it’s Kaden, Ander thought sourly, none too pleased as he walked over with the pink-haired girl. I thought I left this guy back in Central City hours ago. How is it, that out of the entire universe, we manage to end up in the same theme park? And more than that, him show up at the exact same time to interlope when I find something that might work to my benefit?

Still, pleasantries had to be exchanged as the courier tossed out a handful of names and proceeded to elaborate a carefully edited yet valiant tale of terrible battle, robotic onslaught, and heroic defense. Before Ander could think of something equally airbrushed with which to counter it, he found himself sucked into another cataclysmic wormhole. Fortunately, at least this time, he popped out of it standing up, albeit stumbling as if he balanced precariously on the edge of a cliff. The thief righted himself, and looked around, suddenly unsure whether he preferred the parking garage, or this new environment. Bright lights, mirrors, and vanities lined a section of wall, with racks of numerous types of apparel strewn freely about a large, rectangular room. Amongst the rest of the walls rested cabinets and crates, stuffed to the brim with a random assortment of articles and objects.

“What… is this?” Ander wondered aloud.

“I… have no idea,” a tall, muscular man said behind him.

Ander twisted his head around, having to crane it almost all the way up just to look at the behemoth of a one-eyed saiyan. If he remembered correctly, his name was Orion. He turned back around, not really lavishing the thought of drawing the six-foot-three’s attention.

“We’re to perform a play.”

A man with shoulder-length black hair and brown eyes approached them, a friendly expression on his makeup-pasted face. “I’m Cain. Looks like we’re all actors today.”

Ander hesitantly pointed a finger to Cain, and then withdrew it to tap on his own nose. “You… you uh, you have… something on your face.”

“Oh, this lovely lady applied it for me. Part of my role, I guess,” Cain shrugged. “You two wouldn’t happen to know what play we’re performing, are we? Or, any of our lines?”

Both Ander and Orion shook their heads much to the cyborg’s dismay as the birds fluttering in his stomach gave him an extra kick in the ribs. Shortly joining them, however, were two others as blue doors opened up and they stepped inside the room. The thief cocked an eyebrow as he recognized one of them, yet another person he thought he’d left behind for good. What was it with unhappy reunions today? You couldn’t miss somebody if they never left to be missed.

“Nice to see you again, Red,” Ander grinned as Belle Hibiki looked around.

“It isn’t ‘Red,’ it’s ‘Belle,’” the halfling answered, genuinely believing the thief had made a mistake.

“And how about you, uh…” Ander gave the person in a Taoist robe an up-and-down look. “…sir?” he finally decided.

“Zhu. Mr. Zhu,” the human answered with an almost Bond-like inflection.

“Fantastic,” Ander said. He pointed around the room in turn. “So we have myself, I’m Ander, we have Cain, Orion, Re- I mean Belle, and Zhu. According to Cain, we are supposed to perform a play together, but apparently, we don’t have a script or any lines.”

“I guess we just wing it,” Cain suggested helpfully.

The thief briefly appraised each of his partners, a motley crew indeed: a man painted like a clown, a ’roided out Cyclops, a naïve half-saiyan, an oddball in monk’s clothing, and a pretentious desert bandit. Together, they somehow needed to perform and pull off a cohesive and entertaining production for the amusement of some unknown and mysterious figure.

We are so screwed.

A few awkward moments of silence went by as nobody volunteered any material. It looked as though they were going to come up empty. Yet somehow, someone decided that it would not be so, and intervened to give the mismatched band a gentle – or not so gentle – nudge in the right direction. Suddenly, a flurry of stage crew in black shirts and casual slacks burst into the room, ushering them all to a separate vanity, including Cain, despite the fact that he had already undergone the treatment. The room erupted in a multitude of different conversations as several actions transpired at once.

“No, don’t touch me!” Belle protested sharply as he squirmed away from an encroaching makeup lady’s attempt to grab him by the hand. Instead, he scurried over to a male attendant who, for all intents and purposes, was probably no better than a woman anyway.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Orion said, folding his arms over his chest.

“But sir, you want to win, right? You want to humiliate everyone? I’ll give you the best role of all, the toughest and most fierce!” the saiyan’s artist assured.

Ander felt somebody tug him by the arm and drag him over to a chair.

“Hold still while I apply some eyeliner, hon,” a woman told him.

“Wait, what?” Ander replied, his face blanching.

“Will there be any zombies here?” Zhu inquired as his slightly perturbed artist rubbed his face down with cold cream.

“Are you sure you should be changing the design? The other lady was really nice, and she did a good job…” Cain voiced reluctantly.

Before any of them had a chance to protest any further, and really before they had an opportunity to get a good look at each other, the five misfits were pushed out the door of the green room and into the darkened backstage, where they stumbled and tripped in the darkness, unsure of their general direction. Abruptly, a large flood of stage lights flashed on, nearly blinding them with their overcompensation. A giant crowd of expectant people sat silently before them in an opera-style theater house. When they regained their ability to see without obstruction from flashing little dots, they glanced at each other up and down. Mr. Zhu had been dressed in a skirt of white-and-light-blue plaid, with a brown wig and curly pigtails trailing down his shoulders. Belle stood next to him in a fuzzy coverall costume of brown fur with a curled up tail and cropped ears. Ander and Cain huddled together, the former in a suit of polished tin with an axe, and the latter stuffed to the brim with hay beneath a patchwork ensemble of burlap. Finally, Orion, looking quite unhappy, rounded out the quintet nicely in a coverall costume of golden fur, a wild orange mane, and a floppy tail. Together, they composed the full ensemble of the Wizard of Oz as Dorthy, Toto, Tinman, Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion, respectively.

They shot furtive looks, completely frozen on stage, until they began murmuring their inevitable dissent at the situation.

“…I don’t like this,” Orion said flatly.

“Why am I the girl?” Zhu complained.

“What are we supposed to do?” Cain whispered.

An audience member coughed expectantly.

“Go off to see the wizard?” Ander suggested.

A pause ensued, and they all looked at Belle, who up until now had remained silent. He looked back at them, somewhat confused, as if noticing where they were for the first time. Then he stared down at himself.

“Am I a dog?” Belle suddenly realized, picking at his costume.

Ander facepalmed.

Really, really screwed.

[Mr. Zhu]

This was nice, a great change of experience. The entire scenary seemed calm and peaceful, most likely no zombies hidden on the set and in the make-up area. It was quite self-explanatory where Zhu was, when he stepped into the backstage. Of course, some guy had to take initiative and explained the entire process and what the hell they were sent here for, even though it was quite obvious what was going to happen.

After all the sappy self-introduction and shit, Zhu learned that these people were separately known as Ander, Orion, Cain and some other guy that looked like a dog. He didn't need to learn these people's names, they were not important. He didn't even bother learning the names of his zombie-slaying companions, which he now realized wasn't with him and anymore. It made the Eunuch wonder what where the pink-headed girl was and that soldier woman. He would've liked learning their names.

The brief conversation with these people were all over and Zhu could finally withdraw from social interaction and chill out by himself in the side. However, he didn't have much time as a woman dressed in plain black dragged him aside and put him on a seat. He knew what was going on and he simply laid back, as the woman went to work. The eunuch closed his eyes, showing off his long curly eye-lashes and breathed methodically in medication.

"Wow, you have really beautiful skin," the woman began as she applied cream to his face, "I don't think you even need any make up, you're so white..."

As the woman rambled on about the tone of his pale, beautiful skin and winsome face, he continued to meditate and block out what the woman was saying, attempting to block out all thoughts and reach true meditation stage. The entire ordeal he was trapped in was so mentally exhausting and he really needed this time to take a deep breath and just concentrate on himself and his body for a bit. However, the whole recovery stage was cut short when the woman pulled on his arm to wake him.

"Hey, it's time for your costume fitting," the woman said with a giggle but the tone was almost dark enough to scare you.

"Costume wha?" Zhu replied, still half-trapped in his mental build-up.


What the fuck.....

He looked in the mirror, a winsome, curvy figure staring back at him. The eyes were filled with awe and terror, maybe even a hint of satisfaction. He definitely didn't look bad, he was quite fitting of being a woman actually. He had the slender figure, the handsome face and not even the slightest stubble thanks to his emperor. The only thing out of place now was the taoist hat he still possessed and his hair was a mess. The woman realizing this from Zhu's eyes, smiled affirmingly, "Don't worry, we'll fix up your hair!" Zhu swallowed heavily.

After a nice wash and some great conditioning, his hair was once again silky smooth. The woman was still surprised at how much Zhu resembled a woman even though it was clear that he was a man. His voice sounded deep and mature, but if he put on some make up and did his hair up like a girl, he could pass off for a fine lady anytime.

"Wow," the woman sighed, "I really wish I had your hair, or your skin, or your lashes, or your lips..."

Zhu smiled uneasily, as the woman began to comb his hair. He was unhappy that he had to remove his robes once again, but this time he was a little more satisfied with his outfit. Though it wasn't technically "him," he secretly loved how lovely he looked in the dress. As the entire thing went on, he smiled, finally realizing he was good at everything, including cross-dressing.

"All done!" the make-up girl exclaimed, delighted by her work.

Zhu looked up, his long black hair has been tied up, and in its place a brown wig with long curly locks. He smiled uneasily and looked around himself in the mirror, posing in different ways to assure that he looked stunning enough to present in a play. He was quite happy with the results, but before he could compliment the girl, he was led outside, to meet with the others that have been dragged into respective make-up sessions.

He laughed, the entire cast was indeed the Wizard of Oz. Complete with Dorothy, Tin Man, Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion and Toto. As they looked at each other, they all stifled a quick laugh and looked about. So, how exactly were they going to do this? Soon, they were all transported to the big stage, and a big spotlight hit directly on himself, Dorothy.

"Let the game begin!" a loud voice commanded.

[Orion]

What a thoroughly humiliating position he was in. Thrust into the spotlight without any warning, and dressed in a suit resembling some sort of earthling animal, Orion had to clench his fists tightly and control his breathing to prevent a violent killing spree. The degree of stultification was beyond anything he had to endure, and the times in his past that came close to this were solved from murdering those responsible. The expectant crowd were more than likely the gauge by which Gamer would judge their performance, so if Orion wanted a chance to slit that nerdy bastard's throat, he had to dance for the puppet master.

Everyone else on stage, at least, were as stunned as he was. Sharing the debasement helped ease its intensity somewhat, but since everyone was so apparently clueless as to their first step, it didn't really matter. Was this a random hodge podge of costumes, designed to get the creative juices of the contestants flowing, to create an improvisation with minimal preparation? Or could it be an assembly of characters from some human fairytale or legend? Orion was in the dark.

"Does someone want to do something?" Cain whispered.

"Silver man," Orion stated bluntly, referring to Ander. "You said something about a wizard. You know the plot to this human fable?"

"Doesn't everyone?" he answered.

"Then tell us what to do! I don't even know what I'm supposed to be!"

"Quick, everyone but Red and Mr. Zhu off stage!" Ander ordered. "I'll explain the rest as we go." The cast members made their way towards the red curtains, leaving Dorothy and Toto to their own devices.

Zhu was excited for his chance in the limelight. He was a superb transvestite, even if he said so himself. Plus he had a crowd of people waiting for him to wow and amaze them. He shook his head ever so slightly and put himself as best as he could into the mind frame of Dorothy.

Belle, on the other hand, was taking his assignment in a less than honourable fashion. He knew the tale as well as anyone there; after all, what human didn't? Yet the only way he could have been more mortified was if he was the one who received the title role. The startling realisation that he was donning a canine costume meant he required close proximity to Dorothy, and that made him uncomfortable to say the least. Even plodding along next to a pretend female was disconcerting.

Mr. Zhu had barely noticed his co-star's bothered state of mind. He quickly traced back to the beginning of the play, remembering the massive two storey house being flung into the magic Land of Oz. Since he was already wearing a sparkling, diamonte encrusted pair of red boots, he began the story at that point.

"How about that, Toto?" Zhu said in his best female voice. "If we go to see the wizard, he can get us home again!"

Belle blushed, recognising the stares of the audience focusing on him. "Uh ... woof."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get going on the yellow brick road!" Zhu exclaimed, beginning to skip in spot.

---

"I would've been so good at that," Cain murmured, watching the eunuch jealously.

"This is called the Wizard of Oz," Ander explained to Orion as they watched the play from backstage. "All you need to know is you're a big, scary lion, but you're a big coward, too."

"What?" Orion spluttered. "I'm not playing the part of a coward! I wouldn't know how!"

"C'mon," Ander coaxed, putting an arm around the saiyan's shoulder. When he returned with an icy glance, the desert thief removed it. "Look, just go out there, say you're scared, then Mr. Zhu'll ask if you want to join them. That easy."

"Hmpf," Orion groaned. "Whatever. As long as this is over quickly."

"Sure, why not?" Ander agreed, pushing the saiyan in the back. He stumbled forward and caught his footing on the stage, where hundreds of eyes had suddenly settled upon him. Orion shot a terrified glare at Ander, but he simply moved his hands about in circles, portraying him to start acting.

"Why, hello!" Mr. Zhu said emphatically, perhaps enjoying his role as a naive Kansas farm girl a tad too much. "What are you doing there, lion?"

Orion looked over his furry suit. This must have been a lion, whatever that was. All attention was directed on him now, but without a script, what was he supposed to say?

"Uh, yes ... ahem. I am a lion," Orion delivered as flatly as saiyanly possible.

"Why were you hiding behind that bush?" Zhu inquired, pointing to a green painted cardboard stand that resembled a shrub.

"Oh, that, yes. Well ... " Orion grunted. Time for his own unique storytelling. "The truth is, I'm here to eat you!"

"Eat me?" Zhu replied. "Why, you wouldn't want to do that, lion!"

"Oh, and why not?" the saiyan said, malice in his words.

Behind the scenes, Ander facepalmed.

"He's not doing it right," Cain noted. "He should be asking for courage, shouldn't he?"

Ander just shook his head, still buried in his palm. We're royally screwed.

"I'd taste terrible!" Zhu countered. "Besides, I don't think Toto would appreciate you eating me!"

That last line garnered a giggle or two from the audience. Belle wasn't impressed. At all.

"Wouldn't you rather come and see the wizard?" Dorothy offered. "We're going to ask if he can take me home! Would you like to ask him for some ... uh ... "

"Not courage!" Orion bellowed. "I'm a mighty lion!" He hoped lions were mighty, at least.

Time for Zhu to think on his feet. "Maybe the wizard could fix that terrible case of worms you seem to have!"

"Worms?! You mean parasites!?" Orion exclaimed. He looked backstage again. Ander was just shaking his head. The shit was hitting the fan.

Just go with it, Cain said telepathically to the baffled saiyan-lion hybrid. You're butchering this play.

"Ah ... right. Yes. Let's go with that," Orion agreed dejectedly.

Zhu took a sigh of relief. "Well then, Toto and Lion! Let's go!"

Orion walked next to Dorothy, consumed with unabated embarrassment. First he had to partake of a play as some sort of fluffy earth animal, and now his character had worms?

I bet you're pissing yourself right now, aren't you Anitan?

[Cain]

Through pinched lips Cain made the closest thing to trumpet noises he could to the tune of, "We're Off to See the Wizard". Beside him Ander in full tin garb gestured wildly with his hands. "They're not skipping," he said simply. "Or singing," the cyborg pointed out.

"I'll sing if it pleases me!" Orion growled in response. "Err. . . I mean, we're off to see the wizard. . ." he cajoled the last bit, then picked up as the others joined in. Ander, offstage, directed with a thief's acute dexterity with chorus coach crosses in the air.

"The wonderful wizard of Oz!" they finished, Zhu managing a leading skip in place. Orion mimicked the action clumsily, a pained expression on his contenance. When Ander caught Belle's eyes he motioned with a "come on," gesture. The demi-saiyan growled and moved into a half-hearted hop offstage. The cyborg hurriedly drew the curtain, pulling one rope down and throwing the other upward.

"You're not a Broadway cast," Ander said, voice a little hushed. "But you got a few laughs."

"And that's kindof what The Wizard of Oz was about," Cain pointed out.

"Anyway," Ander continued, "This is where you come in Cain. They'll come skipping on from offstage and find you in the cornfield. Remember, you want a brain."

"Right," the cyborg said, perhaps a little too eager to be onstage. He disappeared for a moment and reappeared from backstage with a cardboard cutout of corn. The cyborg strode to center stage, placed the prop behind him, and gave Ander the thumbs up.


The spotlights pierced the cyborg's retinas. He steeled himself against the fright and managed a mock simplicity on his face, vaguely aware of the straw prickling his flesh and poking his scalp beneath a dirty brown, patched hat. He stood as still as stone, arms dangling on hinged elbows, awaiting Dorothy's arrival. The cross-dressing Mr. Zhu skipped out to center stage followed begrudgingly by pepper-hair coated Belle and sun-bleached, orange Orion.

"Where do we go now?" Mr. Zhu asked, looking between the audience and his current companions, voice a fairly honed high-pitch, eyes never quite falling on the cyborg.

Cain hitched his arms to point in the direction they'd just come from and jumped from his still spot before the corn prop. "There's a good way to go," he said.

Contrary to Dorothy's quick and comical backstep Orion leaned toward the cyborg and roared, a resonance that shook the cyborg's innards. "Urgh," the giant of a saiyan said a little softer, his voice still carrying out over the audience with ease. "I mean. Oww, my. . . worms."

Belle turned to the audience and then back to Cain. "Roof," he said simply.

"Don't get goofy Toto," The raven haired Mr. Zhu turned to Belle and said, "Scarecrows can't talk."

The cyborg swayed his arms, straw in the breeze, and pointed in the other direction. "That way's nice too," he said, fighting the urge to scratch his straw-stuffed crotch.

"That's strange," Mr. Zhu said, having remembered this part from the movie. "Wasn't he just pointing that way?" He looked at the audience, milking every minute of the event.

Cain drew both hands together, each pointing over top of the other in opposite directions. "Some people do go both ways," he said, and sprung up, hands held up in an, "I don't know," gesture, his visage a goofy smile and a missmatch of raven hair and straw.

"You don't know much at all," Dorothy-Mr. Zhu said, "Maybe you want to see the uh. . . " he slipped into a normal voice for a second, then slipped back into the high-pitched, high-heeled, almost giddy speech. "the wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

"Hold on darling," Cain said, brushing past the group. "It's time for my close up."

The cyborg preceeded to sing the ever-loving scarecrow theme song. Embarrassingly enough, it was almost in key. If the audience was laughing as he hoped, he couldn't hear it.

"I could wile away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain."

While he sung he pantomimed the words, elaborately, over-exuberantly, flitting all around the stage. He tapped his arm where a watch would've been, knelt to speak to the ground, which sprouted a cold, cobalt flower, sung to the sky full of imaginary rain, scratched his head as he wondered about what he'd just done, and in his palms he represented an egg hatching, then tapped the side of his head with a finger as he sang the last bit.

"Er. . ." Mr. Zhu said, and then strangely enough the words came to him too. He sang in the same reedy, high-pitch he talked in, still almost in tune. Ander directed the goofy duo from offstage with an eery tin-man smile.

"With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain."

The cyborg offered his arm and Zhu took it with his own, locking at the elbow. Much to Belle and Orion's dismay The Scarecrow and Dorothy danced about the stage for the last measure. They stared. They almost gawked before Orion felt the yearning to crush Gamer, and straightened, arm on his belly. He mock-bemoaned his worms and Belle, who's arms were hung "puppy-like" before him frowned a killing-frown at Ander.

"Oh, I would tell you why
The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more

I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain."

They finished up with a rousing round of "We're Off to See the Wizard," Toto and The Brave Lion respectively hopping and skipping morosely as Mr. Zhu offered his arm to Orion several times before he took it. The trio skipped, Orion's massive stride pulling the two offstage as Belle hopped behind. He stopped at the edge of the curtain, head and body just visible.

"Ehm," Belle said, as if preparing to read a legal document. "Roof," he said, and hopped offstage. Ander worked the curtain closed behind them. Back in the dimness of stage left they prepared for the next act.

[Belle Hibiki]

The bathroom was, as bathrooms went, perfectly livable. Belle started evaluating just how long he could afford to stay locked up inside, his eyes flicking over each of the bathroom's luxuries in turn. He had a soft, slightly damp rug, a faucet, and a toilet. Assuming he didn't eat, he could stay sheltered inside for weeks, though as time went by he would probably find it increasingly difficult to resist the efforts of the creature just beyond the barricaded door.

Belle shuddered. His other options were to either make another exit through one of the walls, or to head out the window.

He eyed the glass dubiously. It seemed like the most obvious, common sense course... Which, in his mind, made it most likely that they were watching that exit. Still, he couldn't stay here; maybe if he tried flying he would be able to open up some distance.

He had just started to get up when the world around him started to twinkle and flicker, theair around him turning with a loud vvp-vvp-vvp! The bathroom grew brighter in his vision, flashed, and then he was gone, leaving only a towel behind.

~+~+~+~+~

The curtain rose on the next act, and Belle stepped out onto stage with Dorothy, the Lion, and the Scarecrow. He had been relatively silent throughout the entire play thus far, and although he knew more than anyone that he didn't have a lick of acting talent, the fact that he was nothing more than a... A... Lapdog bothered him, and just sitting on stage going 'woof' the whole time wouldn't get him any closer to Gamer.

To Hell with it.

"I just want you to know," Belle growled suddenly, "that I don't like you at all."

Belle glared at Orion - the 'cowardly lion' - and bared his teeth. He had always had fairly prominent canines - a quirk of his family on his dad's side - so he supposed that it was true that he was the one among their motley group who looked most like a dog, but that still didn't make the humiliation of being dressed up in fur any easier.

Orion glanced at him, his momentary look of confusion shifting rapidly to annoyance. "Oh, really," the lion-pretender rolled his good eye. "Why?"

"I thought you knew," Belle shrugged. "Dogs don't like cats."

"I'm a lion."

"That's still a cat," Belle pointed out.

"It's a big cat."

"I know you're a big pussy, but a pussy is still a pussy. And dogs don't like pussies."

"What-" Orion stopped himself and took a very deep breath as the audience broke into scattered laughter. "I'm not a pussy," he got out, trying to move his lips as little as possible.

"Well, you ain't a bitch," Belle observed, then yelped as Orion made a swipe for him. Dropping to all fours, the half-saiyan loped across the stage, more like a monkey than a dog, angling away from the angry lion and his 'owner.'

Belle didn't think that anything would creep him out more than a girl, but he'd been wrong. So very wrong. Every time he looked at Zhu had to suppress his gag reflex. Women were bad enough, but men pretending to be women was something so vile, so horrible, that just looking straight at Zhu made his guts twist. It was a good thing he hadn't had anything to eat yet.

Cain grabbed his arm as he passed. "Toto isn't supposed to talk," the android reminded him in an undertone.

Belle scowled. "And why the Hell not? That guy-" he pointed to Orion "-is talking, and he's a Goddamn cat."

The scarecrow grimaced. His voice dropped still lower: "The Wizard of Oz is also a play aimed mostly at children. You're not supposed to swear."

"What swearing?!" Belle snapped, then paused as he belatedly remembered. "I didn't mean bitch as in 'you're a bitch', I meant a girl dog. Overreacting freaks."

He turned and waved his hand. "Fine, whatever. I don't care. We'll do it your way." He looked out at the audience, stepped forward, and pointed to Cain. "Because you know, the last thing you want is to get on this guy's last straw."

Silence.

"I said last straw," Belle repeated.

Someone in the audience coughed.

" ... I ... I mean, er. Man! I don't wanna be the straw that broke HIS back! Ha ha?" He looked expectantly into the darkness. Hundreds of pairs of eyes looked impassively back at him, some bemused, others irritated. "Well TO HELL WITH YOU! That was FUNNY. Assholes have NO sense of humor!" He turned to the others. "The yellow brick road, right? That's that stupid ass thing that we're supposed to be following? Let's get this crap over with; this costume is starting to itch like crazy."

[Ander]

“What’s going on here, Herb? I thought they were supposed to meet the Lion last?” an audience member whispered to her husband, much to the annoyance of the surrounding patrons.

“I don’t know, Ethel. I haven’t seen this version before,” Herb whispered back.

“Well I think they aren’t doing it right,” Ethel said.

Herb shot her an annoyed glance out of the corner of his eye before returning his attention to the play at hand.

Behind stage, Ander groaned at Belle’s sudden outburst. Although his antics garnered laughter from the audience, they still needed to keep their task on track, and character derailment detracted from the overall quality of the production. Belle’s role was perhaps the most difficult of all, and he certainly voiced his disapproval, but that didn’t mean he should suddenly pick a fight with Orion and start swearing up and down the stage. At the very least, Cain and Zhu had taken to their roles like fish to water, although in Zhu’s case… it probably wasn’t a good thing. The thief sighed as the lights dimmed, his big entrance scene rapidly approaching. While it gave him a good opportunity to ham it up in front of the audience, he also could no longer direct their actions as effectively from his hiding place amongst the curtains.

As the play transferred scenes, Ander stumbled through the dark, banging his metal-gilded shins amongst various props before he finally found the stump that marked his character’s blocking. He held himself into the best-looking pose he could think of, and the blinding stage lights returned. Dorothy, Toto, Scarecrow, and Lion traipsed out from the opposite end, not having yet “noticed” the Tin Man frozen by the stump. Ander stood at a jaunty, rebel-without-a-cause angle, his fake axe slung nonchalantly over one shoulder. The longer he stood in the position, however, the more he realized just how uncomfortable it was, especially since the tin codpiece on his costume started to pinch in unpleasant areas.

Unfortunately, he had a few more minutes of waiting as the quartet passed along some fake trees, a few faces of extras visible underneath the head holes and brown makeup.

“Oh! Apples!” Mr. Zhu gushed. He reached out to pluck a piece of wax fruit, when the tree suddenly gave him a hearty smack.

“How would you like it if someone came and picked something off of you?” the tree’s actor prompted.

After a few more carefully selected lines, the trees suddenly erupted into an apple-throwing frenzy.

“Hey!” Orion growled. “What’s the meaning of this?!”

The fuzzy-clad saiyan picked up an apple and hurled it with incredibly precise accuracy at one of the “trees,” and the extra let out a startled gasp as he completely toppled over from the force, knocking another of his fellow actors down in the process.

“You will not defeat us in battle, Tree Men!” the saiyan crowed, stooping up to grasp fallen apples.

Somehow, Cain managed to get caught in the crossfire, and like a good character, stumbled clumsily on his flimsy boots, and keeping himself stuffed full of straw.

Belle stood away from the action, and one of the props rolled by his feet. He picked it up and took an experimental bite out of it, then made a face at the waxy, inedible taste and texture and spit it out. He tossed the remainder behind him, not even looking, and it sailed across the stage and accidentally hit Ander in the head. Instead, he joined Orion in the fray, growling like a canine and biting one of the extra’s branches. If he was going to be stuck as a dog, then by goodness, he was going to take every opportunity he could get to act like one.

“Now they’re attacking the trees, Herb!” Ethel whispered amongst the audience. “They’re supposed to run away! Why aren’t they running away?”

“I don’t know,” Herb whispered back, his tone line with repressed irritation. “I told you, I haven’t seen this before.”

Cain and Zhu looked on completely helplessly as they tried to quell their infuriated companion, but eventually all the trees fell down unconscious, and Orion erupted in triumphant laughter. Ander, refusing to break character, hadn’t seen what transpired, although he could take a wild guess. If Orion went this crazy over a couple of scrawny guys dressed up as trees who were only supposed to throw apples at them, he couldn’t imagine what would happen during the scenes where the flying monkeys and Winkies attacked. At this point, however, all he cared about was them hurrying over so he could move and alleviate the painful pinching.

“Let’s go this way!” Cain prompted, all too obviously.

Together, they traipsed along until they finally “noticed” the desert dweller.

“Silver Man!” Orion cried out, stepping over Zhu’s line. Fortunately, the eunuch recovered gracefully.

“A man! A man made out of tin!” the cross-dresser bubbled in over-the-top surprise.

Dorothy stepped over and inspected him, banging on the tin to emphasize the verbal observation. Ander did his very best to keep his smile, but the banging didn’t exactly help his costume from riding up. In fact, it made it a little worse. Fortunately, his first line occurred right about now. He spoke through gritted teeth, purposefully obscuring the words.

Zhu gasped, a little too hammy. “He can talk? What’s he saying?”

Orion trained his ear. “‘Spoil Dan?’ Who’s Dan? Is this the wizard we are looking for? Why must we spoil him?”

Ander repeated his line, his patience thinning. He needed circulation, sweet circulation.

“‘Loyal tan?’” Orion guessed again, completely confused.

Ander said it once more, a little louder, but still without opening his jaw.

“‘Royal ban?’ Speak up Silver Man, we can’t hear you!”

“OIL CAN!” Ander shouted.

A pause ensued, all slightly taken aback. Zhu recovered first.

“He said ‘oil can,’” the eunuch clarified unnecessarily.

Cain located the prop, and squirted some blue food-colored water onto the joints of Ander’s costume whilst Zhu shook his limbs. Belle looked on, self-segregating from the big pussy and the cross-dresser. If the half-saiyan recalled correctly, dogs liked to pee on shiny metal objects…

“Oh god that feels better!” Ander breathed in relief, adjusting the tin plates. He cleared his throat, and then resumed a charming demeanor. “Thank you so much. A while back, I was chopping a tree, and then it began to rain. In the middle of my chopping, I rusted solid, and I’ve been that way ever since.”

“Our pleasure!” Cain beamed.

“We’re on our way to see the wizard! I’m looking for a way back home!” Zhu announced in perfect falsetto.

“And me a brain,” the Scarecrow added.

“And me… I… have worms…” Orion pitched in glumly.

“Woof,” Belle concluded, albeit a little bitterly.

“Do you think if I went with you, this Wizard would give me a heart?” Ander asked. He banged demonstratively in his chestplate, eliciting a hollow echo. “I don’t have one. All hollow.”

The thief couldn’t help but think the irony of the statement.

“Why, sure!” Zhu agreed happily.

Dutifully, Ander broke out into an enthusiastic segment of “If I Only Had A Heart,” completely oozing charisma and manly charm, or at least, so he tried. One could only be so manly singing in a costume of tin about feelings and sentimentality and being friends with Cupid. Once he finished, he took a grandiose bow.

“Can we move on yet?” Belle asked.

“Oh, cute little dog,” Ander improvised, leaning casually on his axe. “But maybe it needs a little obedience training.” He emphasized the final two words, but Belle didn’t really take the hint.

“We can’t finish if everyone is stopping to sing songs,” the faux puppy pointed out.

Ander gestured grandly to the end of the sage. “Lead the way, Toto. It’s going to be a long road.”

Unfortunately, at that moment, a puff of red smoke plumed out from the behind them, another actor rising onto the stage from a hidden platform beneath. A woman in green makeup and an iconic black dress, cape, and pointed hat stepped out, cackling maniacally. Ander, Mr. Zhu, and Cain turned, expressing the appropriate terror at the first appearance of the Wicked Witch of the West, while Orion looked on, completely bemused. Belle, however, dropped into a guarded stance.

“You call that long? Why you’ve just begun!” the witch laughed. “Escorting her to the wizard are you, my fine gentlemen? Well stay away from her! Or I’ll stuff a mattress with you, and you, I’ll turn you into a beehive!” Then she stopped, realizing the Lion was there where he wasn’t supposed to be. She quickly improvised. “And as for that mangy feline, I’ll… skin you and turn you into a rug!”

“Is that the wizard?” Orion asked.

Cain shook his head and whispered discreetly back. “That’s the Wicked Witch of the West. She’s the villainess in the play.”

More red smoke appeared, this time accompanied by a shower of yellow sparks and theatrical pyrokinetics. “I’ll get you my pretty!”

Mr. Zhu placed the back of his hand to his forehead and pretended to swoon, forcing Ander to awkwardly catch him. Then the witch turned viciously to Belle, who looked positively peaked with adrenaline.

“And your little dog too!”

Maybe the half saiyan had forgotten it was just a play. Or maybe some latent repressed memory floated to the surface of his brain, blocking out anything else but instinctual reaction. Whatever the reason, the rest of the cast stared in shock as Belle’s furry-clad body ignited into a fierce aura. The audience reacted much the same, completely stunned.

“MENSTU RATION! YOU’VE SHOWN YOURSELF AT LAST!” Belle howled. With a roar, he leapt forward and plowed his fist into the actress portraying the Wicked Witch. She let out a mangled cry, and then bodily flew across the stage. A loud crash erupted from somewhere offstage, and Dorothy, Scarecrow, and Tin Man winced.

Cain quickly attempted to salvage the scene. “Oh look, the Witch has returned to her castle! We are saved for now! Thank you, Toto, you are so brave!”

Ander looked skyward. Somebody save me from this.

He helped Zhu up, and stuck out an elbow, able to do nothing more than carry on with the production. “To Oz?” he smiled forcibly. Dorothy took his arm, and linked elbows with Scarecrow as well. Cowardly Lion refused. Together, they broke out into a reprise of “We’re Off to See The Wizard,” traipsing along stage until the set around them changed theatrically to that of the gates of the Emerald City.

“And what was that that just happened?” Ethel demanded. “What in the world is going on here?”

“Honey,” Herb said, his irritation growing. “I’m seeing this for the first time, just like you.”

“Who are these actors? Do you know anything about them? Is this some kind of new version of ‘The Wizard of Oz’? How come we didn’t see the munchkins? Why can the dog talk?”

She assailed him with question after question, and finally he snapped.

“I don’t know! Just shut up and watch the play!”

She looked at him, clearly offended, and folded her arms crossly over her chest as she sunk further into her chair, sulking. Herb knew he wasn’t going to get any tonight, but anything to stop her incessant yapping. He hated people that talked during plays.

[Belle Hibiki]

The motley crew of scarecrow, tinman, lion, girl, and ‘dog’ made a single circuit of the stage, reached the end, and turned back around. As they did, Belle shot a look at Ander.

The half-saiyan growled. The memory of their previous meeting was one that made Belle’s hackles raise. Although he had forgiven Kaden and Sage - kind of - for their role in stealing his Dragon balls - mostly because he had eventually been able to make his wish - Ander was another story. The would-be thief had not only tried to steal from him, but had put a knife to Sayana's throat as well, and as annoyed as the child could sometimes make him, Belle was protective of her.

But even if Belle hadn’t cared much about Sayana, it would have been the simple fact that Ander was been willing to slit a child's throat if it meant his own personal gain. The idea that he was now being forced into a starring role in a play that was - if Cain was to be believed - for children was some kind of level of irony that Belle hadn't even known existed.

The Tin Man apparently needed a heart. Belle privately agreed. The lights dimmed as they started their second walk across the fake verdant landscape, and when the illumination bloomed again, moments later, the stage had been transformed.

The softly stroked, idyllically painted backdrop was no more. Sharply defined spires of emerald rose around them like trees in a forest. The lights from the scaffolding above reflected off the edges and made them gleam. Belle reached out to rap the back of a knuckle against the side of one of the larger edifices, and was mildly surprised when a hollow sound reverberated back at him. It looked solid throughout; clearly great care had been made to make the illusion convincing.

"Be careful, Toto," 'Dorothy' cooed. "You don't know where that's been."

"Ruff," Belle muttered. "It's not a big deal. It's just some sort of... decoration... Thing."

Belle rapped the plastic again to demonstrate, a deep thrum shivering through the spire. There was a sound like the flapping of paper as the prop wobbled from the unintentional force Belle had put into the touch, then toppled over like a falling tree toward the audience. The thickly constructed shell slammed against the stage and shattered, spitting green shards of plastic in every direction.

"Whoops." Belle paused. "Anyway... Er... Hey!" He pointed off to the side, locating a suitable distraction. "Look! It's a door!"

And it was. Nearly twice as tall as the Cowardly Lion, the gateway to the group's destination looked formidable indeed. The scarecrow tried knocking, then tried the handle. Locked. Cain stepped away and scratched his head of straw. "I guess nobody's home," Cain said, clearly making an effort to sound disappointed.

A hidden slat on the door slid open. Belle had seen things like it before, but never two feet off the ground. "Who wishes to see the Wizard?" a harsh, high voice spoke from beyond. Beady green eyes peered out from the slat, the darkness beyond hiding the rest of the face. "State your names."

"I'm Dorothy," Zhu answered with far too much ease to be natural. "These are my friends - "

"Scarecrow," Cain said.

"Tinman," Ander volunteered.

"Lion," Orion grunted.

"Tutu," Belle finished.

"Toto," Dorothy amended for him. "Please, may we see the Wizard? We've traveled ever so far, and the Good Witch of the North sent us to meet him." Zhu pulled up his skirt to reveal the glittering red slippers he wore.

Belle dry-heaved, but managed to pass it off as a cough.

The voice tsk'ed. "You've come at a bad time. A very bad time, I'm afraid. The Wizard is meeting with all the Candyshepherds of Munchkinland. But," it continued, "if the Good Witch herself has sent you, I suppose we can open a spot in his schedule. Please stand back while I open the door!"

The slat slammed shut, and a moment later the center of the double doors began to hiss steam. "Wait, what's this about a Good Witch?" Belle asked suddenly. "What's he talking about?"

There was nervous laughter - both from the audience and his companions. "Well, she's the one who I first met. Don't you remember, Toto?" Dorothy asked, smiling.

"Stop calling me that." Belle glowered, folding his arms. "And no, I don't remember, and I think I would if it was something like that. Why are we following a witch's directions? Isn't that a bad idea?"

"Toto! How mean!"

"Glinda - that's her name - is good," Scarecrow chimed in. "I remember that. She's always been kind to the Munchkins."

Belle looked to each of them in turn. None of them seemed to get the mistake that they were making. "But guys. Guys. Witches are not good. They're women. Women with magic. How do you think they get that magic? Through their blood demons."

"Oh boy, here we go," the Tinman muttered and pulled his head halfway into his armored shell like a turtle preparing to defend itself.

"My dad talked about witches a couple times. They're evil women who come to suck the life blood out of you when you least expect it. You think you're safe, and then BOOM!" He smacked his fist into his paw. "Suddenly you're old and wrinkled and you don't want to fight anymore. I'm telling you, we should just find our own way home - this is probably a trap."

The doors swung open. "No trap. No trap," came the squeaky voice again, and this time Belle could see the owner properly: a portly figure about two and a half feet in height, wearing a brilliantly green robe, a green pointed cap, and an emerald-studded ring on each of his stubby fingers. He even had a green-dyed mustache which accentuated weirdly with his otherwise rosy features.

"What the - " Belle started, then backed up. "SEE?! This is exactly what I was talking about!" He pointed. "It's one of the witch's victims!"

"Miss," the small man looked at Dorothy. "If you cannot keep your dog on a leash, I'm afraid that you will have to leave him tied up outside."

"Tempting," Orion muttered.

A minute later Belle - after much wrestling - was outfitted with a collar. A length of leather was knotted to a silver ring on the front, and 'Dorothy' held the other end. "I swear to God," Belle growled, throwing a look at the pretend girl. "If you try anything funny - anything - I'll whip you around so fast you'll think you're at a bullfight. I'll - "

Tinman cleared his throat. "What is the Wizard meeting with the Candysheperds for?" Tinman spoke over the remainder of Belle's threats.

"Oh, things have been in a right state in Munchkinland," the Munchkin sighed and started walking, little feet having to pitter-patter very quickly to keep ahead of the group. "Everyone needs sweets, but not everyone can afford to always keep a stockpile for when hard times come. The Wizard has been working with our leaders to come up with a plan for Universal Sweets Insurance, but so far nothing has come of it, and every day sweets get more expensive. Can you imagine?"

The munchkin paused, then sniffed, his eyes getting misty. "When you're tired and lonely, to have no lollipops nor gumdrops, no candy canes for your weathervanes, and no toffees in all the various flavors of coffies?" He paused, then licked his lips. "Mocoa is my favorite," he added, almost as an afterthought.

The stage suddenly rotated a hundred and eighty degrees, and the six of them - five plus one midget - rounded the corner to come around the front side once more, which had been restyled into a grand hall with a long table full of tiny, tiny people. And towering above them, looming in the mist, an amorphous shape of a head...

"Wizard!" the munchkin barked. "Travelers from Glinda, sir! They wish to speak to you!"

[Mr. Zhu]

"Fellow travelers!" boomed the giant-esque figure down towards them, "What is it that you request from me, the great Wizard of Oz!"

Mr. Zhu stared up at the figure, almost forgetting to dish out his line. "Um, sir, my friends and I are here to ask for a wish, sir... Sir.” he said with a perky voice.

The others now bunches up behind Zhu and looked up at the thing, Ander and Cain nodding receptively, while Belle picked at his outfit as it came out of his frame and Orion boringly looked at the wizard. Dorothy bent down, his two hands scrunched up in front of her chest, he cried dramatically. "OH PLEASE HELP US!"

The Wiz took a long pause and then replied. "Okay, but only under one condition! You have to bring me, the witch’s broomstick!"

"The wha?" Orion almost blurted.

Cain nodded accordingly as he was familiar with the plot and Ander looked at the wizard confusingly. They clearly kicked the witches ass already, well at least Toto did, but now they have to go back to her to get their wish granted, it was all too messed up and too farfetched from the original plot. Belle on the other hand, felt no reason to conceal the fact.

"We already kicked her ass!" Toto said heroically, "Err, RUFF!"

The actor playing the wizard took awhile to respond to it, but finally improvised his way to make it come the full circle and less awkward. "Well, you better do it again!"

Before Belle could put another word in, the eunuch pushed him aside and thanked the wizard for his hint to the actors. Now they were on their own again as the scene changed yet again, this time the wizard out of screen. They were supposed to be walking somewhere, most likely towards the witch's palace of evil, but no one really knew what was going on.

"Now what?" Orion quickly looked at Ander for an answer. However, this time even Ander had no idea what was going to happen next.

The whole getting broomstick thing was part of the plot, but the witch getting owned already was not exactly part of the set-up. They were once again, left with no clear direction on what should be happening, or what was to happen next in the timetable of events. But soon, our actors were rescued when all of a sudden actors dressed in monkey costumes stormed the scene, it was then when Ander remembered that there was a scene with flying monkeys and shit.

"OH NO! It's the flying monkey minions of the Witch!!" Cain cried out loudly.

Zhu reacted fast and pretended to faint from the danger, as the monkeys swarmed him and Belle. As Ander and Cain were both submissive in the whole scene, Orion and Belle felt the urge to be the hero and began battling with the monkeys.

"Help us god damn it!" growled the halfling saiyan, Orion grunting in agreement.

At this time both Ander and Cain decided they can't bother messing the play up so they stood there, out of place, while Toto and the Lion engaged in a big war.

"Stupid saiyans," Zhu thought as he forces his eyes closed and being dragged away by the monkey leader. As this happened, the stage claw accidentally scraped across Zhu's cheeks and created a small but visible cut on face. Zhu opened his eyes wide open and went to feel the wound, and then he grew dark. He was pissed, but he still had to stay in character. Instead of exploding at the actor, he chose an alternative. "Oh no you di'nt!"

Zhu got up to his feet and arched his fingers, Cain knew Zhu was somehow going to hurt this guy, so he quickly jumped in and grabbed Zhu from behind, dragging him away from the actor. "I'll save you Dorothy!"

Meanwhile, the monkey actors scoff the stage before they got beat to death by the two Saiyans and Dorothy. Belle almost chased off the stage to fight the actors, but finally snapped into his right mind to control himself. Now they were left, completely clueless of what should happen next once again.

[Kill Town]

Oddly enough, Gamer’s smile got wider the more he watched the play unfold right before his eyes. He more or less just wanted to see if the players could do it, and if they didn’t, he had resolved to kill them off one by one until they did something interesting. Of course, if they simply put for the effort, then the teenager knew that he would do everything in his power to make sure that they would not, in fact, leave dead. By the looks of it, they were putting forth the effort, and they were doing well, save for a few…rough spots.

It was an interesting choice to make by using the Wizard of Oz. What Gamer really had in mind was that they just make up a play on the spot—meaning no parodies—but the one unfolding in front of him was so good that he didn’t think much of it. In fact, he didn’t know which part of it he enjoyed more—the fact that Orion was a lion, or the fact that Belle was dressed up in a dog costume. Zhu cross-dressing was humorous, too, but the shock of it just wasn’t as prevalent as the others. In fact, it didn’t surprise the teenager at all. Him in a dress seemed oddly fitting.

“…what the hell was that all about, anyway?” Orion said under his breath, glancing around at the other actors.

“They were just acting, assholes,” Ander whispered back. “Now we’re just standing here like idiots.”

“Ruff!” Belle added before wincing and shaking his head free of his character. “I mean we should do something soon.”

“Yeah, but what?” Cain shot back.

“How the hell should I know!?”

Back stage, the director shook his head. He had stayed mostly out of the way, because he didn’t like to interrupted the magic as it unfolded, but judging by the blank expressions on the faces of his newest actors and the yawns stemming from the audience, he knew that he had to do something quickly before he lost his job. After all, it wasn’t going to be long for the negative reviews to start pouring in if these guys managed to mess everything up. Snapping his fingers, his nerdy assistant game rushing to his side. The director began speaking before his employee could even whip out his notebook. “Norton, how much time has passed since the play began?”

“About twenty minutes and seventy-two seconds, sir,” Norton responded.

“…so twenty one minutes and twelve seconds,” the director confirmed.

“If you want to get technical about it, sir, yes,” the assistant nodded.

“Right. Well, that means that we have about…” he looked at his wrist watch, “an hour and forty minutes left if we want to fill in the time slot.”

“And they’re almost at the end of the play,” Norton shook his head. “Say the order, sir.”

“Okay, well…there’s not much we can do about the time, but we need to end with a strong note. Bring in…” he hesitated, “the entertainer.”

“Someone think of something…” Ander grunted. He was saying that because, like everyone else, he didn’t know what else to do at that point. Somewhat to his relief, a noise sounded off stage that garnered the attention away from their cluelessness and towards the source.

“Ow!” a man sounded as he slid onto the stage, wearing a sparkly silver outfit with one studded glove. His long black hair flowed past his eyes as he danced and gyrated his way further onto the stage, taking the time to grab himself in between. The crowd, to their great surprise, began cheering and whistling. Whoever this guy was, he had the crowd eating out of his hand for seemingly no good reason.

“Jesus Christ,” Orion nearly broke his nose as he brought his palm to his face.

“This is wrong on so many levels,” Belle spoke, backing away from the man slowly, nearing an explosion with every shake of the man’s hips. At the end of the entertainer’s performance, he lifted his arms up and proclaimed, “Wizard of Oz!”

The audience burst into loud applause as the curtains closed, forcing the actors backwards to avoid getting crushed by the heavy velvet. Upon the completion of the play, Gamer began clapping into the microphone. “Excellent! Bravo! Encore! Well…not really, I’d rather not see that again, but…you know. Splendid performance. Now here’s your glowing review.”

With that, the portals for each respective contestant opened beside them. As they began to walk through them, Keith cleared his throat. “Oh, except for you, Zhu. You didn’t quite make the cut. Sorry.”

He pressed a button, and suddenly the portal turned red. Unfortunately, Zhu had already began walking through the portal. On the other side, all he was met with was the prison.

1st: Ander
2nd: Belle
3rd: Orion
4th: Cain
Mr. Zhu has been relocated to the prison, where he may begin roleplaying whenever he is ready.