Poems

[Hellfighter 17]

I was wondering if you guys could give me some positive feedback or constructive criticism for these. Don't be easy on me, just try to hav ea point in it, can't wait to hear from ya'll.

Pain

The bullets raining down like eyes.
The kicks hitting like pointing fingers.
The killers smiling like teenagers.
The punches hurting like words.
The bats swinging around like laughter.
The stabbing hitting like a shove.
The pain excrutiating like tears.
The torture.

Love

Can go with the words of one sentence.
Can come with the one glance of 2 sets of eyes.
Can leave one feeling the sweetest taste of their life.
Can leave others in the surroundings in awe.
Can make sensations long forgotten reborn.
Can cause the loss of everything else and still be worth it.
Can give new meaning to everything and just make them less significant at the same time.
Can leave one simply in joy.

Discontent

It happens to the best of us.
It comes and goes.
It does not give us the right to.
It will take away and so much and give so little.
It can be passed on.
It can turn into eternal happinesss.
It is what we all need.
It is impossible to escape.

Human

No one can escape it.
No one can find it.
No one can let go of it.
No one will be able to hate it.
No one just loves it.
It gives you everything you need.
It leaves you wanting more.
You deserve much more.
You deserve nothing at all.
It comes with everything and is missing so much.
Love, hate, confusion, jealosy.
Sadness, happiness, anger, sorrow.
We disguist are selves.
We are proud of ourselves.
We belive in ourselves.
We have no faith in ourselves.
We hate it and love it.
It is the worst thing.
It is the best thing.
We need it, we want it.
How can we use it?
How can we become it?
Ho can we value it?
How come we waste it?
How come we abuse it?
How come wit disappears just like that?
How come nobody wants it?
How come we have never been it?
How come it is beautiful?
How come it is ugly?
It is such pain.
It is such joy.
We never appreciate it.
We kill it and give life to it.
We cherish it.
We throw it away.
We try to capture it.
We always lose it.
It is not life.
We are it.

[Hellfighter 17]

So nobody has any useful or positive feedback at all?

[Alura]

I wanna make it useful. I read them but dont have time to actually give you something good

[Zarbon]

Well done, just work on it more...and it will be better.

[Hellfighter 17]

Here is another one, I know it isn't as good as the others but still:

Feelings

Thee is so many
That you cannot escape them.
They are and always will
Be a big part of you.
They help you at times
And curse you at times.
They express how you think
If you want to or not.
They will help you
Get through rough times.
They plague you, they haunt you
And they are always there for you.
It takes a special person
To bring out all of these.
If we could find that person
We would be complete with ourselves.
If you have them or not
You will never stop searching.
Because those feelings
Are always in you.

Also could you tell me which ones you guys that were good.