C&c?

[Piccolo Daimoun]

http://cdbzrpg.dracondev.com/forum/threa...17381&sid=

I need opinions on this, if someone would be so kind.

[Ander]

You have an interesting take on Guru. Instead of being a kindly old fatty, he almost seems manipulative in a way with the whole "convert him" bit. Throwing out the element of amnesiac-past-transgression-of-evil is an excellent way to create conflict, and throwing it on the backburner while Daimoun gets man-handled into a quest gives the readers something to look forward to, whether they know what he did or not. The latter just chalks up more of a bonus for surprise effect. Bugs are also a nice "ughgygughgughghg" factor, because honestly, who actually likes bugs? Freaks, that's who. All bugs secretly want to do is eat you, and that's no good. No good at all.

Overall, the build up is good, you've got foreshadowing, conflict, and you've got bugs. The only thing that could go wrong is you fall flat on your face, but you won't do that, will you? =D

[Piccolo Daimoun]

Hehe, thanks Bardock.

Anyone else reading along with any opinions?