What to Do? [NO SPAM]

[Aero]

Hey Chubbsians.

It's me. I know I've been away from here for a while. But I've been doin me, no homo. Since April I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that I'm tolerant, but I don't take any shit. I've bought into the Baltimore (Bodymore) sayin "Death before Dishonor". But I've also learned about love, and in a short period of time, discovered the pain of losing love.


That last statement brings me to my question -- What to do? Though I consider myself a tough person, this pain that I feel is unfathomable. It's not from a wound . . . at least not an external one. It's the type of pain that no doctor can fix and some are lucky enough to never experience. It's the pain of love.

I've discovered that love is a very interesting word. It's a word used to vaguely describe indescribable feelings. Also, it has two sides. Love can either make you feel like a fiend after a good fix, or it can leave you like a fiend looking for a fix. If you catch my drift. It can give you the highest of highs, yet do a complete 180 and lash you with the lowest of lows; the latter is what I'm experiencing.

I want her back. I fuckin love the bitch. I really do. Right now I feel like fuck life. Whatever happen happen. I'm not stickin my tail between my legs for nobody. If someone would rob me tomorrow I'd tell the burglar to go fuck himself. Fuck the consequences, because, like I said, there is no pain worse than the one I'm feelin.

So . . . what do I do?

I still txt her daily. She responds rarely. I tlk to her on the phone, but it's mostly me just expressing how much I want her back (I tell her that I love her, but she doesnt believe me. She dont believe shit that come out my mouth), since she doesn't really talk back.

I didn't do her wrong. Never cheated on her, never lied to her. I might not have showed her how much I cared. That's the only thing I'm guilty for.


So what do I do?

I want her back. I don't want to give up on her. She's my world. I'd bust heads over her; twice on sunday. However, she doesn't seem to want and get back with me. She said she lost feelings for me. But how do you undo love for someone? I mean, you can no longer like the person, or no longer want to be with them, but you cant lose love. If you love someone you will always love them, even if you dont ever want to see them again, deep down you still love the person.



So there it is. These feelins have been ripping me apart. the only thing I think about is her. When I wake up, when I go to work, during work, when I get home, when I fall asleep, and then proceed to front of cycle.



What to Do?

[Vad]

The first thing to do?

You need to accept that your always going to have a scar from this. If you get her back, more power to you. If you don't well, it's time to begin either grieving so you don't stress out, then slowly move on.

I can pull from 8 different names to share with you for pain I've felt in the hopes I can impart some widsom; Two I'm keeping to myself.

You need to accept the fact that women will keep subtle things from you. Unless she's like my current love interest then she might not be upfront and personal about irks she has.

I understand you're tough, but love can bring the greatest warrior to his knees. I remember a quote of King Henry the VIII.

"I could have conquered Europe, all of it, but I had women in my life."

Okay, down to business. Part of the recovery process is going to be how well you can manage your thoughts about her. Obsession is bad, for the most part. Do NOT start nagging her about your feelings. Let it settle.

One of the major things I learned is that if you confront her about it too quickly, it will blow up. In your face. I'm going to leave it here and just advise you, for right now.

Let things settle in.

EDIT: If you're wondering why I say that. One girl pulled me along for a ride to test how far I would go then dropped me.

[Jonathan Meer]

There's not a thing I can say to make you feel better.

This will make you a deeper person.

[Orion]

Meer's 100% correct. The amazing thing about love is even when it doesn't work, you'll be amazed at what you learn once you can stop focusing on the pain and start moving on.

Until then, don't grovel. Don't send her texts and call her on the phone. You're holding onto something that isn't there now. You need to realise, be it long or short term, that it's over.

I went through the exact same thing a few years ago. It sucks, it really does. But I'm a completely different person now than who I was back then. I've grown and learned a hell of a lot about myself. I even found a girl who is exactly like me to the letter; if I thought I was in love in my past relationship (I wasn't), then I'd have to substitute a word higher than love for my girlfriend now.

[Shou]

Don't try to hold onto the past if the past is splitting in half like the titanic. It can make you myopic and shift your perspective for the worse. Its for better and for worse, a gift and a curse. Some good will come out of this, you just have to check yourself and give her more space than she asked for. Make sure you don't fry your own circuits, because if you do she won't really go through what you went through. Stress is an amazing thing that we allow ourselves to do to ourselves. Meditate and then go do something physical that you like.

And avoid repeating too much of what you already explained to her (ie: how you feel about her, etc.) because she already anticipates you saying stuff like this if your conversations are all just trying to hold the relationship together. You can't hold everything together, not even Superman could hold everything together.

Go love someone else because she's not sharing the same emotion with you and you should also try talking to other different variety of girls.

And be open-minded to losing people, especially if they're going one way and your going another, but you both still occupy the earth and can run into each other another day.

Time heals wounds, scars are just reminders that we've been here for a while. You'll be alright man.

[Belle Hibiki]

Your problem is that you're putting the pussy on a pedestal.

[Kazuya]

I thought I was in love a couple times. The first, I realized that I was just in lust, I wanted him. I thought I loved him, but he didn't really love me. He gave me what I wanted and dropped me literally the next day.

Rob, he was....14 months wasted. Sure, he loved me in his own way, and at the time I thought I loved him too. The relationship was toxic, as his ex was always there in the background, and I suspect he cheated on me a few times with her. It hurt like hell when I left him, and it took me years to find the guy I'm madly in love with now, even though he was right here in front of me the whole time. It was so real, so special. Still is. That's why I married him.

Point is, it's going to hurt, maybe for a few weeks, months, or even years. Don't hang on to something that is clearly not going to happen again. Pick yourself up, and keep moving, its the only thing you really can do. I think it's God's way of saying that you just haven't met the right one yet, but we, as humans, are far too blind to realize that so fresh from hurt.

You'll find a woman who is special, a ride or die chick. We all have some tough lessons to learn, and my friend, I think that you just learned one. Don't worry, there's someone out there for you, just keep going and eventually you'll find her.

[Aero]

I'm done with her. I don't want to be with her no more. And I hope that I can get over her. I know that there will always be a place for her in my heart, but she truly is a bitch.


Or last conversation went like this . . .


Me: leave me alone stephanie. I done with you, I want to move on wit my life. i love you. bye.

Her: Bye bye bye bye bye. dont call me no more dont txt me no more. i deleted ur number bye

Me:ok bye

Her: Fuck you bye

Me: you can stop now stephanie

Her: Lol ur funny. go kill urself i hope u die

Me: ok stephanie. ill die eventually, we all do. maybe well be together in heaven. bye

Her: ur not gonna make it







That last one hurt too much. she truly is heartless.

[Kazuya]

Bitches ain't shit. Fuck her.

[Vad]

Hard and Fast.





















My WoW guild name. >.>

/humor

[Jack]

Your problem is that you're putting the pussy on a pedestal.

lmao, this went unnoticed.

That exchange was pretty brutal. What the hell is her problem?

[Orion]

I'm done with her. I don't want to be with her no more. And I hope that I can get over her.

Well done. You're already maturing.

[Aero]

Yeah.

I cam to the conclusion that I was expending too much energy trying to get back with her for her to just continuously take a hammer to my heart. I felt like I was burning myself out. Like if I didnt try to move on, then id lose my soul.

[Vad]

I'm glad you've found a solution. =D

Good luck. We're here for emotional support!

[Aero]

yeah, her bday is november 29th, so ill probably tell her happy bday.

For all the gamblers out there, I bet when I talk to her on her bday she's gonna ask for me bacl

[Vad]

I'll gladly bet on that for you. XD

[Super Buu]

From your last conversation, and your last post, it does still seem like you've still got a bit of hope left.

Kill it.

I know what it's like to become fixated on a single person - it's not healthy, and it's not love. It's just filling an emptiness in yourself. I think real love happens when both people are already happy with what they have, and are, not from co-dependence.

Judging by what you've told us/me, I think she's been over it for a while. I expect just accepting that fact alone will hurt a lot. But the sooner you get over it, the better. You're already on your way there, and I'm damn proud of you, dude. And don't ever hesitate to IM me if you wanna talk some more.

[Aero]

Yeah. Well, as an update on everything. I went a week without talkin 8/10 - 8/18 to her, I intended on never talkin to her again. But then she randomly texted me asking me how I was. I txtd back sayin i was ok, asked her how she was. Then she said she was sorry about all the things she said.

That kinda took a lot of my anger away. I forgave her. So we tried to continue to be friends and be cool, but my emotions came back. I wasn't ready to talk to her because hearing her reminded me why I cared about her so much.

After that I took a lot of time to just think about myself. Think about God, my family, what I want from life, and even her. I wanted to think about the entire situation, dissect everything.

To help concentrate, I stopped smoking, drinking, socializing, and even eating for 10 days (until my body was just beginning to feel frail). It was a hard procedure, but it refined my mind. I was able to understand things much more clearly.

I realized that I can't get over her, because my feelings will be with me, and because I do feel like that what we have is unfinished. But I came to the conclusion that I can move on. And I am.

So yesterday I txtd her. I wanted to talk to her over the phone. She kept running around the bush until she gave me a no. I still sent her an email. It basically was just telling her that our relationship feel apart basically to lack of time together (like going out, spending time together in general). Told her that I still care about her and that if she ever needed me I'd be there for her, not here for her, but there for her.

Then I put bye and thats it.



I'm not gonna call her, write her, or txt her anymore. I'm not gonna bug her. If she wants to talk to me I'll talk to her, as a friend. Cant hope for anything more. The end.

[Aero]

Yeah. Well, as an update on everything. I went a week without talkin 8/10 - 8/18 to her, I intended on never talkin to her again. But then she randomly texted me asking me how I was. I txtd back sayin i was ok, asked her how she was. Then she said she was sorry about all the things she said.

That kinda took a lot of my anger away. I forgave her. So we tried to continue to be friends and be cool, but my emotions came back. I wasn't ready to talk to her because hearing her reminded me why I cared about her so much.

After that I took a lot of time to just think about myself. Think about God, my family, what I want from life, and even her. I wanted to think about the entire situation, dissect everything.

To help concentrate, I stopped smoking, drinking, socializing, and even eating for 10 days (until my body was just beginning to feel frail). It was a hard procedure, but it refined my mind. I was able to understand things much more clearly.

I realized that I can't get over her, because my feelings will be with me, and because I do feel like that what we have is unfinished. But I came to the conclusion that I can move on. And I am.

So yesterday I txtd her. I wanted to talk to her over the phone. She kept running around the bush until she gave me a no. I still sent her an email. It basically was just telling her that our relationship feel apart basically to lack of time together (like going out, spending time together in general). Told her that I still care about her and that if she ever needed me I'd be there for her, not here for her, but there for her.

Then I put bye and thats it.



I'm not gonna call her, write her, or txt her anymore. I'm not gonna bug her. If she wants to talk to me I'll talk to her, as a friend. Cant hope for anything more. The end.

[Dehan]

Good luck with that Aero, it took me a year to get over a woman who I still think could possibly be my soulmate. It's been years since I spoke to her but I remember going a year without talking to her and just pulling myself together and getting over her.

Then she called me and within a few minutes all those emotions I worked hard to get rid of during that year flooded back and I was left weak. I didn't go back to her, I ended up just mentally saying 'Fuck you Karen.' and taking a few more months to finish killing the emotions I had for her.

Recently I had to do the same thing, it's difficult but in the long run it's worth cutting someone out your life. To keep them and potentially let their presence cloud your sight from another who could possibly love you and bring true joy and peace in your life isn't a risk I no longer want to take.