[C&C] Veritas

[Veritas]

It's been a long time since I've done this so I was wondering how I'm doing so far. Any words of advice, criticism, or all of the above are welcome. Here's the link to my latest stuff...

http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread....post514156

[Cain]

You have a few things wrong here.

Wrong: "Just my luck." He muttered as he pushed back his sleeve to check the time.

Right: "Just my luck," he muttered as he pushed back his sleeve to check the time.

Unless you meant to start a sentence with a character doing something instead of expressing how he spoke before he pushed back his sleeve.


"seemingly broken, nose." There's no need for the pause.

A few more grammatical errors.

Your last post made me really laugh though. Great job. Good humor is rare. Good restart.

[Veritas]

Thanks for the feedback . Yeah, the main reason for rejoining was to work the kinks out of my writing (grammatical errors and such). I'm glad you liked it, I'll try and keep it interesting!

[Veritas]

My last post is a lot shorter then the others but I just wanted to stay active...figured I'd post it and maybe see what you guys thought about the direction I'm headed in so far.

http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showpost.ph...ostcount=3

[Veritas]

Its been a while since I've been doing this so I was curious as to what people think about my writing and such. Try to keep in mind I'm trying to get back into the swing of things so dont be too hard on me haha, but I can definitely use some criticism and some suggestions on how to improve. Here's the link, I didn't pick a specific post I'll leave that up to you guys.

http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26511