Wtf!?!? Pure bullshit!

[Mal Nova]

Warning: Low and behold the act of venting!

I guess I should give a little bit of back info to the events that have me anxious, annoyed and on the verge of completely snapping.

Well, me and the girl(Joannie) broke up. I guess that's the wording for it. The events leading to this, came at October 1st, after we arrived here from bowling. She stayed here and ate, before she went to her friends(Nick and Laurie's) to stay the night because that's where her kids were sleeping. After she ate, she came back here to get a hug and kiss or whatever, and I tried to get, intimate with her. She denies me.

Now this is the first time she's ever denied me intimacy, and is way off character actually. She left and I got to thinking about, and I got to brewing over it and the fact that she'd been staying at her ex old mans house, who didn't and probably still doesn't know about us(They, meaning everyone but me, decided it was better if he didn't know because he might show his ass), but she had been staying over there a lot because he was suppose to be moving out of state and she thought it best if he could see his kids as much before he left(Now it changed and he's moving to a different area till his court issues are done).

Well after brewing over it and the alarms that were going off in my head...

I sent her the following:

After reconsidering tonight's actions.... I have to assume that you are not fully committed to me.

You sit there and kiss up to a person thast physically abuses you and I get left in the shade...


You DON'T stand strong in your devotion to be with me with any of your explinations. You Say I dont know and such over and over again and state different things each time.

You, being one thast loves sex so much... ignored me tonight... so IM goiong to have to assume that you're still having sex with him...

And I say that as well... with the knowledge of knowing I trust people to much... Knowing you'd fuck him to shut him up...

So yeah..........

I was blunt and to the point, and I sent it via the way I knew she'd be contacting me in the morning.

After a few words... she said she needed time to thing.

That Sunday night, after her having fun with friends, she came over for a little bit and we were intimate. She tells me she'd try to see me tomorrow(Monday), and leaves. Monday goes by, Tuesday she goes to a PTA thing for her daughter, then Wednesday rolls around.

She comes over talks to my dad, while I'm sitting in my room looking over somethings. She doesn't come say hey or anything to me. She leaves and hops on line 10 minutes later and says, "I met someone"

I had to look up from the paperwork and when I saw it.. my heart dropped and that rush went over me... After that I couldn't really talk to her... She tells me she'd see me tomorrow night for bowling. I told her I wasnt going and jsut walked out of my own room.

But I had to go because I'm the Captain and we had to remove 2 players and bring in a new one to our team.

On the ride there, she brings up the new guy to my stepmother, because we're all in the car going to the same place. Note: I hadnt slept in 24 hours, and I was doing my best to be civil or just ignore her. She keeps going on and when we stop at Burger King..I have to bail out, because honestly I was in tears and couldn't take it anymore. I step into the rest room and try to calm myself. Yeah... Me being calm O_O

During bowling, I'm doing my best to ignore her and not look at her. She winds up near me once when no ones really around and tells me I have to talk to her sometime. My answer was "No the fuck I don't" and I walked away. I wound up in tears a few times when I'd fuck up and have to find my eyes look into hers.

One the way home, I guess I slip more into my angered ways and she makes a joke about reaching back and slapping me... I in turn, asked her if she wanted to pull back an arm with a nice deep gash in it.

Well I get home and time goes on and I become more come, even though the pain and hurt is still there, and I still can't grasp at it all.

I mean, It kind of sickens me to wonder if she jumped from my bed to another's, within two days, or had this been going on before the Sunday of our last time of intimacy?

Then there was yesterday, she came over to give me a message about calling to set up an interview and goes to talk to my Stepmom. When my stepmom goes to her room and we cross paths in the hallway as im going to get something to drink, she gave a quick smile and asked me if I hate her. I replied I didn't know, in a mumbled fashion, because seeing her just started getting my annoyance and anger up. She says, "No?" so I have to speak a bit louder with my "I don't know", because I don't think she should go about her life being liberated of what guilt she may be feeling, and at the same time it was annoying me because I felt in someway she was trying to get a rise out of me or something.

Well today, I go to the interview and what not, come home, my old man comes home from lunch, and she winds up calling here. She talks to my stepmom first and I hear something about my Stepmom couldn't give her any money because she had just bounced a check on a animal vet bill and because I hadn't received my own check and wont till tuesday because yesterday was a holiday.

I turn my ear towards the conversation, because I feel the way my stepmom bitches about money already, that she better not take what I pay and rent and give to my ex and shit. Next I hear the phone being passed to my old man so I start listening in and I here something about the Futon bed in the living room and the single bed in the spare bedroom.

I walk in the living room after my dad gives the phone back to my stepmother and I have to hear this SHit:

Joannie and her new boyfriend, with her kdis would be staying here for a few days.

Now as you all know, I'm not the one of the most calmest individuals around, I'm far from it. I just walk to my room, not able to contain myself. Dad ends up coming in a few minutes later, knowing I'm not comfortable with it, and damned sure not happy about it.

He says the reason for them staying for a few days(Supposedly till the 17th) is because Nick or Laurie's cousin is staying over there till then and they were having to sleep on the floor and they weren't getting to bed until 3 AM in the morning because everyone was keeping them up and so on.

Now, I'm sure before that.... person.... of an ex of mine and this new guy shacked up, he wasn't staying over there.

And I sure as HELL don't want to meet the guy, that I feel was involved in some type of infidelity against me, much less even chance hearing them having sex.


So right now, I'm wired and close to losing it. And I believe if they stay over here, and I don't leave, that before it's over, the cops will be called and I'll probably be kicked out and going to jail or something.

I mean I'm really on the verge and getting closer the more and more I think about it...

[Dehan]

Sounds like you should talk to your dad and let him know what's what...I mean shit common sense would tell him and your stepmom 'Having our son's ex here with her new boyfriend and the kids isn't smart at all. Perhaps we should tell her no.'.

It also sounds like your ex is pretty twisted, if anything she should be taking time to allow you to get over her and accept the fact she's gotten someone new in her life and vice versa. Space and time are key to healing emotions and what not.

If I were in your shoes I'd just ignore everyone except for the kids, I'm good at ignoring folks who have fucked me over. Anyway good luck with this dilemma, sounds like you're in for quite a week.

[Mal Nova]

Head into Wall, Knife across neck, and repeat...

[Chase]

/late

How'd it go?

Now, no offense intended, but we're only hearing one side of the story, and the beginning sounds....questionable, to say the least.

I mean, she didn't have time/mood for sex, so obviously she must be cheating? If I were a girl and that would happen to me, and I'd get the message you sent, I'd start thinking of ways to break up with you as soon as possible, because it only sounds like an obsessed person raving. "Knowing you'd fuck him to shut him up...", seriously? You didn't even base it on anything since you don't know and yet you said it. Angry part of you talking, sure, but what reaction did you THINK you'd get when she saw that.

Yeah, if it's all exactly like you said, you might call her 'evil'. I don't, I call her...normal, I guess. I'm just used to girls not giving their full commitment just like that. The only time you should expect a girl's FULL trust and giving it to her as well is once you're married or engaged. And even then there's room for error. I mean hell, you shouldn't even be giving your trust away like that until it's proven. If she really has time and time again evaded answering some question you asked, like you said in the message, and if you 'know she'd fuck him to shut him up', why exactly are you trusting her, again?

I mean, no offense, but according to your profile you're 23. You should know the world's a bad place and that trust is something to be valued, not given away for free.

Also, I don't know how it is there, but out here in my country, if a girl 'loves sex a lot' to the point where it's part of their character, they're going to cheat on you, possibly with girls or dozens of other dudes.

[Mal Nova]

TO answer your questions, I guess I have to dwelve more into it.

I persoanlly, enter relationships, looking for something prominent(this word may or may not fit), to say the least. Otherwise, I find it useless. I mean, this is me, a guy who has turned away sex because I could have had more fun writing and what not.

Now I watched her, talked to her, and joked with her, for 8 months, and had to see and hear how big of a dick her Now ex fiance, Adam, was. Granted she was with him for 8 years prior to the break up by her account. So to me she was all but broken via self esteem by the asshole. And I had been attracted to her, and loathed the guy because, he was a drunkard idiot, and accused her of sleeping with me on the night/morning I moved in where I am now and first met her... and then him.

After that night,I all but tried to avoid him. The only other real reaction I've had with him was when me and my old man were invited to eat over. And I was helpping him with his computer and afterwards.... after my old man left, Adam wanted to show me shit he thought was funny, most being porn type things. I wanted to leave but he was persistant and I didn't want to be an ass.

Well, one night, she left here and was online and she hinted/flirted and finally came out that she was done for hiom just looking for a way to leave and we expressed our attractiveness towards each other. Intimacy ensued the next day.

Sameafternoon my new ball from being drilled... she called me crying. He had belittled her again... She let a freind watch her kids and came down and we went bowling.. and she wanted to tell my old man and his wife about us. They weren't happy about it.

So we started sleeping together... but later that week... Wenshe went to get her kids clothers.. he cried and begged her back. She came back told me and said she didn't know what to do. Everyone else gave her advice. Welli didn't. I knew no matter how unbiased I could have been.. that I was probably going to be biased. And i didnt want to put more into her head.

And I use to be able to be fiendish about shit like that.

He came over and I had stay in my room continuing my little work out. And I had to hear him trash talk her, and hear my stepmom suggest they go out for some time together. They go to a bar. She came back and it took her an hour to get me to speak at the least. We made love that night knowing she was going back with him.. and were intmate, at times, upuntil she was leaving him again.

At that same time Adam became accused with sexual assault by a minor, a friennd of Joannies younger sister, which never happened. And Joannie said she couldnt leave him in jail and standing alone when he was innocent. Andi beleive he was because of all the shit I heard and it was supposedly done in front of Joannie by the reports.

She wound up in my bed again that night and so on. Then he wanted to spend time with his kids, whichI wont deny him that or scorune her for it. But then she started staying the night over there with her kids and shit more and more.

One night during bowling before she was an actual bowling member, we wound up talking about kids... and I said I wanted at leqast one of my own blood, because It's just me and said I'd still love her two the same. She said she wasnt ahving anymore..and an argument ensued where I dumped her... And I was drinking a little... So was she...

Next day she came over and we talked it out... and well... yeah, we were back together... It was then that I was like... WTF WOW.... Never had something like that happen.

But it wound up that I hardly saw her.... and it became annoying, not even hearing from her. Worrying and what not. There was a time I am almost sure she left with underwear on, and came back with none.

My subconscience ate at me. After being cheated on before, by others, it bothered me. She'd always ask me to tell her what I thought, but I never did, because, I knew what might ensue.

That, and I am not easy going about finding words, vocally, when it comes to expressing myself...

From there... you can see the above what happened when I finally spoke my honest oppinion.


======

The results... well.... they never came down... lucky me.

But Last Thursday... Ihad to hear about the new guy again on the trip to the alley. ANd I wasn;t very nice about the venomous comments I made...

I even called my step mom and tJaonnie fucking idiots as we stopped and parked.. and I leapt out tiring of hearing about it.

I had to sit there for a bit, and started talking to the ex... When the step mom interupted us bitching about she couldnt handle it, and what not. I had to bite my tonuge and take the BS and continue with the ex explaining how I felt and what not. She said she didn't blame me for being upset and what not and gave me whatever reasons for it all...I wont lie, I cant remember it all because afterwards I proceeded to get wasted, during after and way after the game...

I did try to hide me going to go see another person after the game, but my stepmom let that cat out of the bag... And I tried to keep it unknown to the ex because I didnt want to be disrespectful or anytihng, as I explained to her.

Sad thing is... the new person, wont ever make me miss Joannie ... lol


Guess I'll continue to be an angry asshole or whatever...

[Chase]

Really, no offense, but from what I could gather from what you wrote, it looks like you were more at fault than she was. Not telling her, not talking about it, but expecting her to tell you or just stop.

You might be twenty-something years old, but what you wrote sounds more like the account of an early teenager who got dumped by a girl. I'm not going to say 'grow up', just, I suggest you learn some self-control and discipline. Furthermore, learning to look at it all from her side would help a lot. Half the time you started expecting things from her that you yourself weren't fulfilling even a little.