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[C&C] Lazarus

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[C&C] Lazarus
Prototype Offline
Junior Member
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Posts: 10
Threads: 15
Joined: Jun 2010
#1
06-23-2010, 01:31 AM
I'm wondering what people are thinking of him. I'm taking a new direction this time, one I think I'll thoroughly enjoy.
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Rebekah Offline
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Posts: 4
Threads: 10
Joined: Jun 2010
#2
06-23-2010, 01:50 AM (This post was last modified: 06-23-2010, 01:50 AM by Rebekah.)
who r u? <3

I'll give you some C&Cz
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Jesper Offline
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Posts: 53
Threads: 60
Joined: Sep 2006
#3
06-26-2010, 06:48 PM (This post was last modified: 06-26-2010, 06:49 PM by Jesper.)
Man. Your story is moderately depressing. xD Just some quick feedback:

A very good read so far, you've done a good job in character development so far. I don't feel sorry for characters often, but I definitely feel sorry for Richard. It seems a bit out of place for a DBZ RPG, but you've definitely crafted a great story so far. As a writer, you've done well with drawing in your reader's interest, as I actually facepalmed at some of the happenings throughout the thread, especially your last post and the poker game. Lazarus is making some poor decisions, but I can't exactly blame him, since his daughter's sick and all.

Don't really have a whole lot more to say at this point, honestly. I'm interested in reading more, so keep it up.

I'd love some C&C back, if you're feeling it. xD I'll continue reading regardless.
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