Ander's Rap

[Ander]

I have no idea why, but the memory of having written this popped into my head today. Now I was going to PM this like I did the other RP, but since Tim's rap was a public diss, I decided that this had to be made public as well since it's just too good not to share. I was waiting for an opportunity to bust this out shortly after Kill Town, buuuut that never happened. The lead-in was interchangeable depending on what the situation would have ended up being. EDIT: Here's the original post.

Without further ado, this one's for you, Tim:

As if remembering something, Ander snapped his fingers.

“Oh, by the way, I have something for you,” he announced.

“Ooh, what is it?” Ashe asked excitedly.

He fumbled in his capsule bag, fingers tracing along the symbols for one with unique lettering. Upon finding it, he summoned up a waist-high pillar of earth and simultaneously activated the cylinder, revealing a fairly primitive tape recorder. He clicked ‘play,’ and an audible beat-boxing sound poured out from the tiny little speakers, the thief slowly bobbing his head in tune with the rhythm. A knowing smile crossed both of their faces, and Ashe couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You really took that rap seriously, didn’t you? Must have hurt your feelings pretty badly,” the pink-haired girl laughed.

Ander simply amusingly held up a finger for silence and placed the audio device on the pillar, and then he grabbed Ashe by the biceps and positioned her at arm’s length away from him, releasing her to step into his stance. He bounced from side to side on the balls of his heels, slumping his shoulders forward and throwing in some timing hand gestures to help with his flow. He had studied those music videos during his flight to Namek very carefully, and emulated the professionals down to the very last detail. Ashe loosely folded her arms over her chest, a bemused grin playing on her lips as she watched the display. And then he began.

“Bet you thought you owned me with rhymes of conjecture
So I’ma sit you down now while I spit this lecture
You’re baggin’ on the junk that I’m packin’
One look inside and you’ll see I ain’t lackin’
I’m sorry but you can’t handle this kinda action
One night under me and I’ll put you in traction
Valis, Ander, the fastest gun in the West
I shoot straight from the hip and blow it off on ya chest
Two seconds in and I’ll have you screamin’ my name
Without even bustin’ out the second half ’a my game
Sittin’ there and tryin’ to diss my thievin’
That’s a compliment B, once I get it ain’t no retrieving’
I’ll straight up take your money, your pride
Then maybe afterwards we can go for a ride
On the Ander Express cuz I got the balls like dragon,
Super-powered skills but no point in braggin’
But enough about me, let’s talk about you
Ain’t seen no guy on your arm, you must be a shrew
You try to lock it down and keep it tight
But one look at you and dude says goodnight
Can’t get ’em to stick around long enough to tease or tame
You got no-body Ashe, it’s a cryin’ shame
Got your pink hair and all them clothes
Sorry Ashe you still lose out to all them hoes
Plenty others to choose, blonde, blue and red
Think I’ll take my pick from one ’a dem instead
Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck
There’s the cuss for my rap now you’re outta luck
Metal Man will rock your shit, I’ll straight make you a clown
Your friends will have to come pick up the pieces like “officer down”
Tell me again, what was it you were sayin’?
I can’t hear it no more over the beat that I’m playin’
And now I’m a big enough man to make this confession
I still like you Ashe, I’ll turn around in the session
To really try and offer up this truce
Cuz a lyrical game ain’t worth my juice
I think I’ll take your advice and try to go for the steal
Only a matter of time baby ’fore I’m sealin’ the deal
You can try to get away with dodges, dips, and darts
But there ain’t no escapin’ baby I’m the King of Hearts
Now I really think it’s time to bury the hatchet
I’m like a fever girl and you’re gon-na catch it
So it’s the end now, stop tryin’ to taunt me
Come on now Ashe, you know that you want me.”

With the last line, Ander closed the distance between them, barely an inch of separation as he deliberately and teasingly violated her personal space, both challenging and intimate at the same time. Right on cue, the tape ended with the last beat, perfectly coordinated. He looked down his nose at her with a self-satisfied, toothless grin plastered on his face, and the thief smugly cocked an eyebrow as he studied her expression, waiting for the girl’s reaction.

[Ashe]

Haha, awesome. Bad thing is, I think I know a great follow up for Ashe in general to that, if the situation still came up. Hmm.