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+---- Forum: Roleplaying School (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=204)
+---- Thread: nappa (/showthread.php?tid=39770)
nappa - xssence - 06-10-2007
and yes i realy would like to join as nappa
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
can some one email me the link to this site so i can move it to my computer? i got so much time on my hands so ya 350 words dont bother me so as soon as i can im going to join as nappa thanks guys
nappa - Android 17 - 06-11-2007
Sent. You'll need to think up a new character though, as Nappa was given out recently.
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
ok so how about puting me as lets see goku if hes not taken i will take lets see whos not taken man umm i can be any one from dbz db dbz gt right?
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
how about sage Sage is Vegets grandfother hes in the movie sayin rage the new dbz movie comeing out i shuld know im a dbz fan
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
what shuld I do with this thread thin? shuld I make a new one?
nappa - Android 17 - 06-11-2007
Goku is taken, and yes, you can be anyone from DB/Z/GT. Chances are that you'll have to settle for an unknown character. The more notables are all taken.
Whenever you get to your computer, I want you to write me a 300-word roleplay. Post it here, not in a new thread.
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
ok sweet I can do this im not giveing up
nappa - Android 17 - 06-11-2007
I have faith in you, just follow all the dialog rules I gave you (all of them), but I also want there to be narrative action as well (I don't want to see just one godly huge conversation) so I can see how you do when writing that.
Remember, this is not script writing. It's paragraph writing. Write using paragraphs and no the asterisks (*) that it seems some script writing uses.
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
the sun was bright on a day with a band of bandits a boy with a sword on his back with a tell was sent to look for food in a forest but then he ran into a strange space ship "man I why do I have to be the one that hunts for food all the time||." just then a big blast coms from the north part of the forest were he was "I better get out of here as fast as i can man i miss my pairents" as the yung boy jumps from tree to tree he was hit by part of a tree as it brakes off was was knocked out it was around 1pm on monday june 11th he was found by goku and pan along with gohan they move him to gokus house they then found a tell on him :Hay check out that tell and sword||. Pan said as trunks looks at the boy "Hmmm not bad but look at this hes from the school were gohan was but he also looks like a sayin" said trunks. the boy wakes up "Were am I better yet who am I?" said the boy "Your at Gokus home" pan says. "Your verey cute" said the boy. "Haha it seems hes got the hots for you Pan" said Trunks. just then Pan blushes "Thank you yung man you sort of cute to" said Pan.
"Hay kid want to go head to head with me?" asked Goku "Shure!!but umm I dont know if i know any atacks" said the boy. "Its ok i will teach you" said Goku. "all right" said the boy.
nappa - Android 17 - 06-11-2007
That's only 276, but still an all right effort.
You got a few big problems.
First of all: Spelling errors. What do you type in? Notepad? Wordpage? The post reply box? >_> Do you have MS Word on your PC?
Second: Paragraphs. You need to start a new paragraph each time someone new talks. A paragraph is when you hit enter twice and then start typing again. You also start new paragraphs whenever the action of the current paragraph shifts.
Third: Capitalization. Capitalize the first word of a sentence and all proper nouns. That means anything that follows a period (.), exclamation mark (!), or question mark (?)/
Four: Don't use "||" <_<
Break that block of text into paragraphs and try and fix your errors, all right? And answer my question please.
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
the sun was bright on a day with a band of bandits a boy with a sword on his back with a tell was sent to look for food in a forest but then he ran into a strange space ship "man I why do I have to be the one that hunts for food all the time||." just then a big blast coms from the north part of the forest were he was "I better get out of here as fast as i can man i miss my pairents" as the yung boy jumps from tree to tree he was hit by part of a tree as it brakes off was was knocked out it was around 1pm on monday june 11th he was found by goku and pan along with gohan they move him to gokus house they then found a tell on him :Hay check out that tell and sword||. Pan said as trunks looks at the boy "Hmmm not bad but look at this hes from the school were gohan was but he also looks like a sayin" said trunks. the boy wakes up "Were am I better yet who am I?" said the boy "Your at Gokus home" pan says. "Your verey cute" said the boy. "Haha it seems hes got the hots for you Pan" said Trunks. just then Pan blushes "Thank you yung man you sort of cute to" said Pan.
"Hay kid want to go head to head with me?" asked Goku "Shure!!but umm I dont know if i know any atacks" said the boy. "Its ok i will teach you" said Goku. "all right" said the boy. as goku takes the boy out side he gets in a fighting pose as did the boy "hay thats a grate pose" saied goku. the boy starts have flash backs of a man traing him a move "Hay Goku mine if i try a move I think my memreys comeing back" said the boy. "shure kid knock your self out said Goku. as the boy gets ready to do a kam3hameha the aire fells could and Goku gets could "Hmm what kind of kamehameha is!!!" this he said to him self. as goku Goku gets ready to fire one back he sinces the kides power levle "No way hes going to blow me away !!! better go super sayin 4" said goku. as Goku gos super sayin 4 the kid belds up even more power and fiers it at macks as well as goku did at the same time " KA ME NA ME HA!!!" yelled the boy
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
well rain out of room
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
oh ok now i get it thanks and i was useing spell check on my wiii but ya thanks now I know were I went wrong thanks your a big help lets try that agin
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
post reply box
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
ok now om on a computter
nappa - Android 17 - 06-11-2007
Quote:Originally posted by Android 17
You got a few big problems.
First of all: Spelling errors. What do you type in? Notepad? Wordpage? The post reply box? >_> Do you have MS Word on your PC?
Second: Paragraphs. You need to start a new paragraph each time someone new talks. A paragraph is when you hit enter twice and then start typing again. You also start new paragraphs whenever the action of the current paragraph shifts.
Third: Capitalization. Capitalize the first word of a sentence and all proper nouns. That means anything that follows a period (.), exclamation mark (!), or question mark (?)/
Four: Don't use "||" <_<
Break that block of text into paragraphs and try and fix your errors, all right? And answer my question please.
Still have to fix all those problems.
Do you have MS Word? If not, go to http://www.spellchecker.net/v2/products/scayt.html and use that page to fix your spelling errors.
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
The sun was bright on a clear day a boy was sent out to look gor food the boy had a sword and a tail being broght up by bandits the boy never new his pairents he was around 21 years old the yung boy did not know much of were he was oas r what hw was but he knew how to fight real well he had a real big sword and gold black and red cothing and a tail one day he was sent out on a misshon to fine food.
"Boy man why do I have to do this dang bandits can get the food for them self" said the boy. Aa the boy jumps from tree to tree he slips and the branch brakes from the tree and was knock out a few hours latter he was found by Goku and the others as they look him over they fine out he had a tail just like Gokus home were the other Z fighters were wateing trunkks bumped into the bandits who looked after the boy.
" hay boy drop the kid hes our servent" saied the bandit. Trunks looked at him and looked at the boy what hapen to the mother and fother of the yung man? asked trunks. Trunks gets ready to protect the yung man wen the yung man wakes up in the heat of battel Trunks notest the yung man had awoke and was coght off garud by the bandit.
The bandent atacks trunks "hehehe now you both die" said the bandit . the bandit them cuts the boys arm along with trutnks "iT WAS i WHO KILLED THE KIDS PAIRENTS MHAHAHA" the bandit said .
As the yung man now realized what the bandit said his anger exsplodws like never befor "you killed them"he said. the earth dhakes his hair glows yellow he becoms a super sayin the place blows apart the ground splits open as he stands in the middel "You will pay" the boy saied. Then the boy rushes at the bandits and finshed them off in one swift atack has the bot lands on the griund blood drips from a old scar and pastwd out.
as trunls was shocked of the boys power and wound he takes he to see goku and the others "Hay guys help me out here"said trunks. he past out on gokus frunt yard.
"Hurrey take him to the back room"said goku. As Goku and the other helped trunks Good health
umm how was that was that much better?
nappa - Android 17 - 06-11-2007
A bit better. Still have a long way.
I want you to take a few days, read this and then try your hand at another roleplay. When I say "take a few days", I mean just that. I don't want to see you post another roleplay until you've absorbed that entire guide to the extent that you can recite it back to me verbatim.
nappa - xssence - 06-11-2007
umm so you mean read it tell i under stand it?