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+---- Thread: nappa (/showthread.php?tid=39770)
nappa - xssence - 06-12-2007
thanks
nappa - Violet - 06-12-2007
Okay, after reading through it, Its my personal advice and opinion that Chubbs DBZ RPG is not for you at this time. Perhaps you can find another RPG, like Gaia Online (Just google it, can't miss it) and hone your roleplaying skills there. They got a forum especially for new roleplayers, and I am confident that the feedback that they can give you will be more productive and effective than what we can give. Personally, I don't believe you are near ready for our caliber of writing yet, as we don't emphasize on fighting, and gaining stats and things that most RPG's aim for, however, if you are serious about roleplaying, my suggestion would be to read over the many roleplays we have available here, and try practicing on your own.
I for one, keep a personal journal to do short stories in, just to hone my skills, and try new things, maybe you can try that tactic?
Thanks!
=)
nappa - xssence - 06-13-2007
oh I tryed my best
nappa - Violet - 06-13-2007
I know. But I think Gaia would be more up your alley than Chubbs right now. Get some practice in on your own, and you're more than welcome to try again in the future. Of course, if a member of staff disagrees, they are welcome to come in and say otherwise. =)
Good luck!
nappa - xssence - 06-13-2007
were did I go wrong?
nappa - Violet - 06-13-2007
Its not that you went wrong, its just I don't feel you're not ready for Chubbs yet. The latest sample was a big improvement over your beginning ones, but you still need alot of work.
Take a look at this roleplay: The Broken Road . Read it all over, (please) and study his style of writing. Burter employs a certain method to his writing, his metaphorical twist on words, and colorful descriptions. This is pretty much the way the rest of us write here. 3rd person, past tense. This is a great sample for you to study.
For the next two days, I want you to take the roleplay you just posted, fix the line breaks, and change it to third person past tense. You change from third person past to third person present. If you can correct this, that would be lovely. Consistancy, as well as patience and diligence, are key here.
So, spend the next two days on your own and employ the advice that myself, Seventeen, and Bardock have given, and we'll see where to go from there.
If you need assistance, feel free to contact me on AOL instant messenger at TweakedCU. I will be happy to look over your sample personally and suggest changes if you get stuck.
nappa - xssence - 06-13-2007
so the rp sampel is fine just got to swich it to 3rd person view am I right? and fix the spacing right?
nappa - Violet - 06-13-2007
You're misunderstanding. You've improved a bit over your beginning RP's, but you've still got a long way to go before you are ready to roleplay here. This is a special case that isn't going to be resolved in a couple days. I am talking weeks, perhaps even a couple months of practice here, that's why I say it would be more beneficial for you to try your hand at a roleplaying community that is more your level, where you can grow over time, and then come back here and apply.
The last suggestion I made is the next lesson for you to do, now, take the information we've given, spend a few days on your own and come back here on the 15th to post your results.
nappa - xssence - 06-13-2007
so read what you gave me and fix my rp sample up to 3rd person view I think I know what your saying and thanks for the help umm I will never give up I am going to Graduate from here even if it takes years I am getting the hang of this please dont close my thread even if I dont get in I am having fun learning from this way of wrighting
nappa - xssence - 06-13-2007
being here is fun
nappa - xssence - 06-18-2007
"Yes" the its up
nappa - xssence - 06-18-2007
im going to work on my rp and win im done I will post it here for you guys to check it out it will take a few days ok
nappa - xssence - 06-18-2007
may I be # 13 hes not taken i looked at the roosters
nappa - xssence - 06-25-2007
dose any one want me around?
nappa - Android-18 - 06-25-2007
Violet Wrote:You're misunderstanding. You've improved a bit over your beginning RP's, but you've still got a long way to go before you are ready to roleplay here. This is a special case that isn't going to be resolved in a couple days. I am talking weeks, perhaps even a couple months of practice here, that's why I say it would be more beneficial for you to try your hand at a roleplaying community that is more your level, where you can grow over time, and then come back here and apply.
The last suggestion I made is the next lesson for you to do, now, take the information we've given, spend a few days on your own and come back here on the 15th to post your results.
You've pretty much been told what to do. You do have a long way to go, so I don't think any amount of posting in here will help you. You haven't improved much since you started, and you're obviously a bit impatient.
You need to go find some DBZ RPGs that are more around your level, and perhaps in a few months or so you'll have improved enough to join here.
I'm not trying to offened, but you just aren't ready for this place. So try not to post here again until it's been a few months.
nappa - Violet - 05-29-2008
Hyuk. I can't believe it took you so long after registering to start spamming. Amazing.