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+--- Thread: I like it like that ♫ (/showthread.php?tid=11915)
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I like it like that ♫ - Rem-13 - 11-03-2007
Who's up for some higher end writing discussion?
Everyone who's looked at bardocks role playing guide knows the basic dos and don'ts of role playing. I'm looking a step beyond. Stylistically what are some of your irks or likes.
I find it hard to fit "he/she said" in my writing. No matter one variant I take it always sticks out like a sore thumb for me. I only use them because I know to readers Its sometimes needed to clarify who is talking. When describing the inflection of a voice I usually prefer to describe the voice itself in another line.
Quote:"Get down from there!" Fred's voice was like thunder.
rather than
Quote:"Get down from there!" Fred thundered.
In "The Lord of the Flies" the author does not use them and I found my self really liking that choice, but to my classmates who were reading it as well they got confused. Whattaya think?
I like it like that ♫ - Kaden - 11-04-2007
I generally find myself in a little bit of conundrum when I write dialog. Nine out of ten times, when I have a series of spoken lines, they're intended to be read in rather quick succession, as though the speakers were simply bantering (Rad's character very easily leads to this). I try to leave out the "s/he said" whenever possible, cause it bugs me. But then I worry that it will be confusing without any indication. My compromise is usually to throw in an action every now and then, to go along with the dialog. Like this:
Quote:"You've got to be kidding me." Eighteen shook her head.
"What?"
"What do you mean what?!"
"What has more than one meaning?" The long-haired wonder feigned confusion
"You know what I mean..."
"You know what I mean."
"Sometimes I hate you." The android simply turned and walked away.
"Love you too, babe," the saiyan said with a grin.
Like that. That's the kind of thing I prefer to read, too, but it doesn't really bother me one way or another what the author does. So long as its not the "he said" at the end of every quotation mark.
I like it like that ♫ - Jesper - 11-04-2007
Variety is key, in my mind. While "he said" can stick out like a sore thumb like you said, avoiding it can be just as distracting. Sometimes people try so hard to find another word for "said" or "asked" (i.e. spoke, inquired, etc) where the simple approach would have worked just fine. Avoiding using the character's name too much annoys me too. You can get so many synonyms or descriptive words in its place that you can sometimes forget who the writer is talking about. Of course, saying the character's name fifty times in a paragraph is distracting, too. So, again, variety.
Also, it takes a writer that knows the characters well to write quick, successive lines of dialogue without any tag, like Rad displayed in his sample. Well-developed character traits and quirks really help in those cases.
I like it like that ♫ - Celena - 11-04-2007
"He said", "she said" should NEVER be used to end a sentence. It doesn't provide any description. I like to elaborate, add words to describe the way in which the character spoke, as well as adding actions. I’d use adjectives, “he uttered, in a joyful tone’ but it’s best not to over use them.
Another thing I wouldn't say "Go and get me that magazine!" he shouted. The exclamation point already indicates he’s raising his voice.
Nor would I say "Go and get me that magazine!" he exclaimed. I wouldn't use the word exclaim because I have already added an exclamation point therefore already making the readers aware.
Another thing I neglect in my writing is this. "Stop playing with that." John said to his playful daughter.
Full stops should only be used at the end of sentences. I'd replace the full stop with a comma. The full stop would be placed after the word 'daughter' as it's the end of the sentence.
What I would write:
"Stop playing with that," John to his playful daughter.
(And of course the basics, always capitalize when using a name or place)
I like it like that ♫ - Sage - 11-04-2007
Kirano Wrote:Another thing I neglect in my writing is this. "Stop playing with that." John said to his playful daughter.
Full stops should only be used at the end of sentences. I'd replace the full stop with a comma. The full stop would be placed after the word 'daughter' as it's the end of the sentence.
What I would write:
"Stop playing with that," John to his playful daughter.
(And of course the basics, always capitalize when using a name or place)
Yeah, but, you're wrong.
"Stop playing with that." is proper grammer, since it's the end of John's sentence. If John was to continue saying something, as in:
"Stop playing with that," John said. "It's dangerous."
That's fine, but you'll notice there's still a full stop at the end of his sentence.
You may prefer dialogue without a full stop, but it's not proper English.
I like it like that ♫ - Celena - 11-05-2007
Bra Wrote:"Stop playing with that," John said. "It's dangerous."
Yes, that's acceptable.
Don't get me wrong I do use fullstops in dialogues. I just wouldn't replace the comma I put in my example for a fullstop. Neither would I begin a sentence with 'Said', or 'Because'.
I like it like that ♫ - Sullivan - 11-08-2007
I tend to go about dialogue like this:
"I was pissing into the cup," he began with a chuckle. "and then my urine started turning a violent orange."
The nurse cocked an eyebrow at him. "That's pretty gross."
He shrugged. "Yeah, well, I guess."
---
Like that. I consider dialogue one of my weakest points.
I like it like that ♫ - Kaden - 11-09-2007
I've always had a serious problem with putting action before dialog. I have no problem at all reading it, I just can never bring myself to write it. I'll always do something like this:
"Oh... " the saiyan let his grin do most of the talking. "Zat a fact?"
How do you guys feel about dialect in dialog? I've been trying pretty hard to give Rad very "natural" sounding dialog as of late. It doesn't look very nice, but it reads as though its an actual person speaking, more or less. Like what I did above, putting "zat" instead of "that" or "iunno" instead of "I don't know."
If you read any of my RPs over the last few months, you'll see what I'm talking about.
I like it like that ♫ - Sullivan - 11-09-2007
I think that dialect in speech makes more of an impact as far as putting a solid image of what the speaking character is like. A few Harry Potter characters come to mind, like Hagrid, or Ron with his mouth full.
I like it like that ♫ - Celena - 11-10-2007
I struggle when it comes to writing fight scenes. I get worried about using "He punched him," and "He kicked him in the ribs" too many times during the fight.
I like it like that ♫ - Ander - 11-11-2007
What my teachers used to tell me way back when is that "said" is an incredibly plain and boring word. I once had a creative writing teacher that would not allow anyone to use simple words like "said" or "walk" and would immediately fail the paper if a listed simple word was found. We instead were given a list of alternate words that were succint and better described the action.
"I'm going to train today," he said and walked quickly over to his spot.
vs.
"I'm going to train today," he announced and sprinted over to his spot.
Bottom line, I like when people shake up dialogue description words.
I like it like that ♫ - Rem-13 - 11-11-2007
I actually wasn't talking about "said", specifically, I was talking more about the category of quote descriptors in general. They bother me when I right them.
As for dialog I've always used a little in my stories. I use "dunno" alot.
And combat, I've always found it bland, reading and writing, unless handled by a very competent author, so I try and avoid direct description of the combat and more of what is going on mentally and around the fight itself while commenting on the flow of the battle as far as skill. Its hard on a DBZ forum to do that, especially when battling another PC, but I try whenever possible.
I like it like that ♫ - Kaden - 11-13-2007
Having said that, GJ, is there an example of a competently written fight on these forums that comes to mind?
I like it like that ♫ - Rem-13 - 11-14-2007
No you all suck.
Redaction: I mean, sure. Not off the top of my head. Nothing sticks out, but I can vaguely remember a few fight scenes I didn't skim through.
I like it like that ♫ - Ander - 11-14-2007
Burt handles combat pretty well, but he almost has to with his DA rep.
I will agree with you GJ that combat can be pretty bland, but it's also difficult. In terms of visual inspiration, most anime shows only have a few seconds worth of exchange, and then they go into dialogue or mental analytical mode, then a few more seconds, and so on and so forth. In action movies, it's a highly choreographed scene that just wouldn't have the same bang if put into words, because they're quick with multiple camera angles.
That being said, fighting just gets plain difficult to write after a while because it's so repetitive.
I like it like that ♫ - Celena - 11-14-2007
Bardock Wrote:That being said, fighting just gets plain difficult to write after a while because it's so repetitive.
Exactly what I said.
I like it like that ♫ - Alexander Trafford - 11-15-2007
My problem is everytime i write i feel like i'm writing the same thing over and over again. I look back on three years now and i realize everything i've ever written about my character boils down to the same thing. And then i just stop writing all together. It's very troubling. I find it difficult to avoid having a repetitive, bland writing style. . .
I like it like that ♫ - Ander - 11-15-2007
Minoshia Wrote:My problem is everytime i write i feel like i'm writing the same thing over and over again. I look back on three years now and i realize everything i've ever written about my character boils down to the same thing. And then i just stop writing all together. It's very troubling. I find it difficult to avoid having a repetitive, bland writing style. . .
My problem as well.
I like it like that ♫ - Aqua - 11-15-2007
I feel as though it's easy to fall into that trap. What I do is develop in my own head a very contorted, complicated development arch for my character when I create him, something I want him to get to before I quit writing for him. And everything I write, until I get to that point, is building to that point. It's easier for me to do with my zensou character because I've developed a more dense, complicated back story for him. But here, all I really have for Aqua is his internal conflict with he and his races fate, so I'm a bit less motivated to write.
I feel like I'm droning... it's early...
What I mean to say is, I create a character with his ending in mind. And everything I write for him is done to develop him towards that ending. In terms of fight scenes, I don't sweat them. I've had two fights on this board, and neither of them were what I'd call your typical DBZ fights. On other sites, where I have more combatant characters, I try to avoid the typical pit falls by focusing on my character's personality in the fight (as well as his internal cognitions and reflections) rather than his physical activities. A fight scene is kind of like a painting, only better. In a painting, you get the face value imagery, and then the viewer can only guess towards the true intentions of the artist. In writing, the author can paint the imagery with the physical descriptions, but s/he can also offer depth, reasoning, and insight to round out the reader's experience.
I've noticed in my ten years of DBZ rping a certain stigma that DBZ fighting is nothing but punching and blowing this up over and over. It's also been my experience that those who feel this way merely lack the imagination necessary to revel in their character's development. To me, a fight is nothing more than a chance to have a personal experience with another writer such that s/he gets a better look at the story I've been developing/ am continuing to develop. Beyond that, I try to keep in mind that I write in a DBZ RPG because it is a game, and as a game, fighting reaps certain rewards for my character.
^_^
/ramble
I like it like that ♫ - Orion - 11-19-2007
Kollifum Wrote:I think that dialect in speech makes more of an impact as far as putting a solid image of what the speaking character is like. A few Harry Potter characters come to mind, like Hagrid, or Ron with his mouth full.
I agree. I was roleplaying as Venom on a site a little while ago, and I envisaged Eddie Brock as a tough guy who's lazy with his speech. So when he talked, I used a ' to take out letters of words that he wouldn't say. Eg:
"What? You tellin' me that th' fight with th' emperor of Japan is over?"
That's not the best example, but I imagine how he would say his words, then spell the words accordingly. It gives a greater sense of realism to a character, I think. Not everyone speaks with perfect English.