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+--- Thread: The Fable/Duality (/showthread.php?tid=12254)
The Fable/Duality - Kazuya - 04-10-2008
Hello!
We haven't had a C&C in a while, so I figured I'd submit mine and Bardock's roleplays for review.
I really want to know what you think. I'm not looking for small comments, I really want to know what questions you have, what you think of the writing, any improvements, your thoughts on pretty much what's going on. Tell me what you'd like to see come out of this.
The Fable and Duality: Fire and Ice
Please post concerns or anything of that nature as well. I'd like to get some sort of discussion going on. You don't have to give me a completely exhaustive view, just pick out a few rp's and give your thoughts.
Thanks from both of us!
The Fable/Duality - Kazuya - 04-27-2008
-.- No one? No one at all? I mean, COME ON, its EPIC. =(
The Fable/Duality - Kazuya - 05-18-2008
http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23837
Ok, screw the two requests above. This spar is simply more amazing. Can we get some feedback on it please? <3
(May I point out to you that Bardock's next to last post is perhaps the awesomest thing that I've read in...ever. READ EEET)
The Fable/Duality - Sol - 05-19-2008
First and foremost that entire spar was really exceptionally well written from both perspectives. Both charcters had such definitive driving motives, and both came off so personally fitting to the character's persona's that only after reading one single spar I came to feel like I had a very firm understanding of each character and his/her personality.
Violet was just so damn spunky(for lack of a better word), that her determination couldn't help but win me over as the reader. On a DBZ site respect and fighting spirit are clearly nothing ground-breakingly original, most of the time if you read something in that vein you've read it all, but even with a time tested theme like that you kept your writing very interesting and it definitely helped define who exactly Violet was to me.
Bardock, well jezz. That last post was pretty great. My hats off to you buddy. I liked how you built your foundation early, you didn't rush into anything. It was noted on multiple occasions how you didn't want to really hurt Violet, but time and time again instinct kept tugging against Bar's judgment. Bar wasn't completely out of control because he was able to withhold himself for the better part of 3 posts before snapping, and of course the anticipation made the final assault all the more dramatic.
I can't really point to any specific criticisms in particular, both of you guys are fantastic writers and I honestly didn't find anything to dislike in that spar. If I tried to find something to seriously critique I'd just be splitting hairs. For what it was intended to be, your two probably put on one of the better mild-length spars I've ever read. Cudos.
I'll probably read the two major threads eventually, hopefully by the end of the month since I'll be with some luck getting a bit more downtime.
The Fable/Duality - Kazuya - 05-19-2008
No rush homez. <3 Thanks for the feedback. I tell ya what, I've become a rather rapt Bardock fan after reading the next to last post. That one had me like =o