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+--- Thread: Hey! Help me out (/showthread.php?tid=13648)
Hey! Help me out - Android-18 - 02-21-2009
I made a cover letter, first time, to apply at Maple Leaf here in my city. I don't want to sound stupid, and I really need a job, so I'm hoping that this will maybe sound good to an employer. Anyway, can anyone give me some "c&c" and tell me if this sounds professional and good?
Quote:Dear Employer:
I am responding to your advertisement in Saskatoonjobshop.ca, regarding the Entry Level Production Line Worker position. Please find enclosed my resume showing my education, experience, and background.
I have worked in two food service establishments gaining 2 years in food handling experience. I have worked a year in retail and customer service. I have also completed my Food Safe certificate with high grades.
I have worked in various conditions and work hard to meet expectations and goals. I am seeking a place of employment where I can earn a steady income, gain new and fundamental experience, and form a career in a leading industry.
I may be reached at any time via phone, or email, if I am considered for this position.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Rebecca C. Florizone
Hey! Help me out - Kaden - 02-21-2009
Sounds professional to me.
Hey! Help me out - Saz - 02-21-2009
Ditto.
Hey! Help me out - Szar - 02-21-2009
Looks fine to me.
Hey! Help me out - Vad - 02-21-2009
I'm not a resume expert, but from what I was taught this like sounds iffy to me. Only because it sounds...pessimistic? I don't know.
Quote:I may be reached at any time via phone, or email, if I am considered for this position.
Try:
I may be reached at anytime via phone, or email should any questions or concerns regarding my experience arise.
Hey! Help me out - Alura - 02-21-2009
Best last name ever
Hey! Help me out - Android-18 - 02-21-2009
Why? o.O
Hey! Help me out - Sage - 02-21-2009
I was actually going to post how awesome your name was before Alura ruined it for me.
It's waaaaaaaaaaaaay cooler than mine. You sound like some awesome Mafia capo or something.
Hey! Help me out - Jack - 02-21-2009
The letter looks fine.
And the last name is win gravy.
Hey! Help me out - Android-18 - 02-21-2009
Lol whatever you guys say =P.
Hey! Help me out - Super Buu - 02-21-2009
You should've just sent a letter saying "My name is Rebecca C. Florizone, give me a job."
But yeah, looks good to me.
Hey! Help me out - Sage - 02-21-2009
"You don' wanna mess wit' the Florizones, capiche? You give me a job and we pretend like you neva made me ask for a job,"
Hey! Help me out - Jack - 02-21-2009
Holy shit, it's Flroizone? I read it as Florizine last night.
+2 win.
Hey! Help me out - Kami - 02-21-2009
Looks okay but boring. This link might help you polish it up.
http://uocareer.uoregon.edu/students/resumes/write-a-cover-letter/sample.aspx
Your resume lists where you worked, what you did there, and for how long. Your cover letter should tell the person reading it why you want the job, why your past experiences are relevant to the job and that you're excited to work for them. Right now it looks like a boring retread of a resume. They will see that you worked in food service for two years on your resume, assuming they even bother reading it after your cover letter (which often also serves as a writing example for the employer). Use the cover letter to make them interested.