+- CDBZ Archive (http://alex.zulenka.com)
+-- Forum: Out of Character Forums (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=8)
+--- Forum: RPG Discussion (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=125)
+--- Thread: Critique of Stepping Though the Etheral (/showthread.php?tid=13854)
Critique of Stepping Though the Etheral - Sigfried Hunin - 04-03-2009
To anybody who has rad my thread; what do you think of it so far? I know there are a few editing errors here and there, but any thoughts as far as writing style and etc would be greatly appreciated!
Critique of Stepping Though the Etheral - Cain - 04-08-2009
A lot of these threads go unnoticed by the writers who could really help, but I'll try to offer a little input in their place.
1. Read, read, read. Read as much as you can if you want to better your writing.
(Step two includes personal preferences)
2. Pick a style and study it.
Prose: D.J. Scott Pancake (The name's a little weird but he was a serious guy. Check out Trilobyte. It was his break out story, and many compared it to Hemingway's greatest works)
Ernest Hemingway: It's a little boring if you're into otherworldy stuff (authors mentioned below), but he was one of the best of his time.
Some would suggest F. Scott Fitzgerald too. Couldn't get into it.
Some other authors:
One of the site's best rpers is really fond of Terry Brooks.
King. Stephen King is king of modern fiction. Can't go wrong with his books. The Dark Tower series is amazing.
William Gibson: Amazing Science fiction depictions as well as a gritty, maybe noir style that's hard to come by. Check out Neuromancer. Possibly the best book I've ever read, albeit a bit short.
Others could probably suggest a lot more, and hopefully they will.
3. Write what you're proud of and write a lot(you seem to have this last bit down). Spell check (A bunch of the better writers here get by without doing that, but only because they're already really accustomed to grammar, spelling, etc.) Don't add excessive wording for your post count. You'll only end up burning out because you're not proud of what you've done.
So basically read, write, and edit.
Critique of Stepping Though the Etheral - Sigfried Hunin - 04-08-2009
Thanks man!
Critique of Stepping Though the Etheral - Kaden - 04-08-2009
I've only read through the first three posts so far, so some of this might not be up to date.
While I agree with Cain's suggestion to read, I disagree with some of the specifics. I strongly suggest reading through as much of the current saga, Friend or Foe, as you can. I'm sure Alura would be willing to let you know which rounds were the most competitive and you'll probably find the best stuff there.
I suggest this because I think it's always better for a writer to lay their own foundation before going out and looking at how to build upon it. Most of the writers in Friend or Foe have been around the site for a while and have a good understanding of the nuances involved in writing in a format like Chubbs.
In your posts you have some problems switching between tenses and that can be very confusing to the reader. You'll find that different writers on this site do different things very well. If you're looking for brilliant descriptions, I'd suggest reading up on Belle Hibiki's stuff. If you're looking for darker writing, Wizard seems to have a good handle on that, and so does Szar when he actually gets a post up. For lighter, more humorous writing... well... I'd probably recommend my own stuff.
Work in small steps. Take a post and really focus on an expanded vocabulary, and then another post and really work the descriptions. It might seem disjointed at first, but by the end of it you'll have a much more solid base to build upon.
Once you've done that, and you feel like you have a solid handle on your own style and know, definitively, what you do and do not like to do in your writing, then start branching out and looking for published authors who's work you can borrow from. When people take that last step too quickly, they usually get ahead of themselves and losing what they had already worked to get.
I guess this is all just generic musing. Sorry if you were looking for more specific critique on your actual posts. I can still probably do that, but, well... I can get kinda lazy.
*ahem*
Anyway, I hope you find any of that useful.
Critique of Stepping Though the Etheral - Celena - 04-08-2009
And if you're looking for straight up fly, read Zena's RP's.
After editing your work, you should go over it again. It's easy to pick up mistakes.
Critique of Stepping Though the Etheral - Sigfried Hunin - 04-09-2009
Yeah, I have a MASSIVE problem with editing. I'm some kinda of extra-retard when it comes to re-reading my work. I once took a compartmental IQ test and I got a 75 on organizational. No joke, yo.
Critique of Stepping Though the Etheral - Sigfried Hunin - 04-09-2009
I would really appreciate it if I could get something on the other parts of my writing other than the editing though, as I am painfully aware of my tense confusion... I'm trying really hard to give a good visualization of what's happening, being descriptive and etc. Am I doing that?
I have history in both logical philosophy writing (dry bull crap) and online pen and paper. I do short bursts of RP very well. I have never really written long term stories, and I don't really know HOW to.
Critique of Stepping Though the Etheral - Kaden - 04-09-2009
Gozen Wrote:I have never really written long term stories, and I don't really know HOW to.
It doesn't take a lot for a story to be "long term." It can start with some simple, like Gozen exorcising some random demon. But then maybe a bunch more happen in a short period of time. As he's going along, maybe Gozen discovers that there's someone summoning demons to be an asshole. Then that person could be connected to a larger organization.
If you do better on smaller storylines, then just think of it as stringing together a bunch of them.