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+--- Thread: That carrot eating danish guy max power (/showthread.php?tid=17159)
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That carrot eating danish guy max power - Jack - 09-20-2011
Some time ago, in modern DC Comics continuity, the billionaire Bruce Wayne fell to the all-powerful Omega Beams of the mighty Darkseid. When I read this splash page, I was quite frightened. I believed that Batman was no more, that the comic Gods had stripped me of what has become (in recent years) my hero. In the ensuing months it was revealed that Dick Grayson was to take his place, the orphan protege whom called himself "Nightwing".
We had a Batman... once upon a time. I don't even remember what he did, or why people hated him, I just remember the ensuing comments on the topic of "Monster Carrot". Everywhere. It was the talk of the internet! Well... maybe not the internet... but shit, you could've convinced me otherwise.
Then came Dana. Don't remember him either. I guess they were the same person? LOL THATS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE WINK WINK WINK BLACK GUY FROM UK WINK WINK COUGH WINK.
I remember Max. Boy oh fucking boy... you guys gave that fella quite an anal parade. He'd say A, someone would say B, the person that said B was probably staff, which is usually enough to make an idiot out of any person who says A... then he'd want to be a "dhampire", and everyone would step off in his thurr grill with hard cold facts as to why he couldn't. Sometimes this progressed into some heated debate, warnings were passed out, clicky chatter ensued over AIM CHAT (lol i loved those days... not really), the United Nations were given an official report the next day, etc.
etc.
etc.
The funny thing is, looking back... would letting that pathetic kid call himself a dhampire really have made that big of a fucking difference? Oh but no! If he had been allowed to do that, then someone would come along after him and claim a man and female character, attesting that one character was only a "figment of the real character's imagination". Followed by complete chaos, everyone losing their minds, climbing trees and hurling their feces at one another, bathing in urine whilst watching dubbed anime... Jesus fucking Christ guys, you really dodged a fucking bullet on that one. I applaud you.
I apologize. I'm trying to keep this professional. I really am. Doubt anyone's reading this anyway. And on the topic of apologies, apparently I made people feel bad about themselves by sharing my experiences as a young adult able to (albeit temporarily) overcome the crippling social isolation of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and live the life I have always wanted?
...?
...?
I'm not going to apologize for that. Suck my fucking dick if what I had to say in a thread titled "RELATIONSHIPS N SHIT" pertained to the pursuit of RELATIONSHIPS with OTHER FUCKING PEOPLE. I never said I was better than anyone. Perhaps I lost my temper when my thread was destroyed by sarcasm and people wanting to fill it with tales of how they were "never going to meet anyone, nevah gone be shit in dis wurl", etc. I wanted a thread to CONDONE the courage to live one's life, not have it fucking ruined by faggots that just wanted to bitch and moan, and on top of all the bitching and moaning, ignore advice from someone who has been on both sides of the goddamn computer screen. Go to FUCKING. HELL.
But I'm sure that never happened. I'm just making shit up right now... in fact, 98.14% of this post is complete bullshit! Ask staff, they'll tell you. See, when someone becomes Max, they also become illiterate, develop a crippling case of amnesia, and devote the entirety of the rest of their lives to the apprehension of Chubbs' important "files".
I understand the need for Monster Carrot. Dana. Max. Me. People like Mal and Pinky only ruffle feathers for a while, but they can't persist forever... soon they become part of the machine, thinking they have friends here, willing to point the finger at the true antagonist when the time arises. But me? Mothafuckah I'm the real deal. You all need this. Don't fight it. My gift to you.
So. Chubbsians. Fellow Americans, Brits, Aussies, and inhabitants of Fatland via the Nutrition Facts Highway, I urge you not to lock this thread and deny your nature, but post here! Which Max has been your favorite? How many times have you read a join application just to see if said applicant had the potential to replace the resident forum moron? Don't deny it. Don't deny what you all have become... or perhaps this is what you all were since the very beginning? Fuck if I know. Fuck if I plan to waste any more of my years in front of a fucking laptop, craving the acceptance of people who can't even see their own genitals.
![[Image: fat-people-27615581210_xlarge.jpeg]](http://images.sodahead.com/slideshows/000002575/fat-people-27615581210_xlarge.jpeg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi-6bLFp_6w&feature=related
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Sigfried Hunin - 09-20-2011
You're my personal favorite. Mainly cause I don't know the other ones but I have a feeling you'd still rank high. You adorable sociopath.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Rafael - 09-20-2011
![[Image: spider.jpg]](http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t124/Maruset/spider.jpg)
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Super Buu - 09-20-2011
Dude. I have no idea what you're thinking. I just think you're a creepy asshole for harassing my friend via AIM and phone. I like crazy people. I'm a crazy person. But crazy =/= asshole.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Tyr - 09-20-2011
So what, in 24 hours your serotonin should be afloat again?
I'll check back then.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Rafael - 09-20-2011
If you hate everything and everyone here why are you still here?
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Dehan - 09-20-2011
This is confusing and a little creepy.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Piper Juunanagou - 09-20-2011
Rose Wrote:Dude. I have no idea what you're thinking. I just think you're a creepy asshole for harassing my friend via AIM and phone. I like crazy people. I'm a crazy person. But crazy =/= asshole.
x2
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Alexander Trafford - 09-20-2011
This is what I think he's trying to say:
For the longest time Jack was unhappy. He was antisocial, glued to his computer screen, and was basically a hermit bunkering down in his computer room, doing nothing and accomplishing nothing. This happened because he was scared to go out and just try. Then, one day, he did. He sacked up, said he'd had enough, and moved to Missouri to give the real world a shot (whether or not that worked out, or if you agree with things he's doing now is besides the point). After he first made the move, he was really happy, for the first time in awhile. He thought his life was changed; it was like a revelation, a light bulb went off. For the longest time we were Jack's only friends, we were his family. A lot of us were there helping to convince him to take a shot at life, and whatever. Now that he had, he thought he could help others who were still here. Under the impression that there were a lot of people on this site who were in the same situation that he was before he made his move (and there were, especially back then, not as much now), he made his 'Relationships n shit' thread, the purpose of which (I'm taking this from what he told me back then) was to talk about social interaction, since the main problem he believed he had overcome, and that he wanted other chubbsians in similar situations to overcome, was the simple fear of going outside and trying to establish substantial social relationships: making friends and the like. The conversation derailed, people were insulted, and beginning there and continuing for awhile after, Jack felt that he was shunned, ignored, essentially exiled from Chubbs. We used to be his only family and friends, and we treated him like a village idiot and showed him the curb. Obviously that wouldn't effect a lot of us because this is the internet - but if you grew up and this place was, quite literally, the ONE place you could go to escape the horrors of your home and your neighborhood, and this was the ONE place you had substantial friends, then that would hurt.
He thought that we treated him just like we treated Dana and Max before him. I don't remember carrot monster. Of course since then he may or may not have gone about the best ways of getting his point across, but that's not the point.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - John Doe - 09-20-2011
He's not the hero Chubbs deserves, but the one it needs right now.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Dehan - 09-20-2011
John Doe Wrote:He's not the hero Chubbs deserves, but the one it needs right now.
I don't know why but i loled hard at that.
And thanks for clearing it up Alex. I guess I know what he's trying to say or ask...I think.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Rafael - 09-20-2011
Ah, that's different. I've thought many times of this as a sort of virtual Breakfast Club and it would suck pretty bad to suddenly be ostracized even here. I don't know Jack at all so it was coming across as more of a "fuck you losers I'm leaving the internet". The pic at the end didn't help, dunno what the youtube link is.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Mal Nova - 09-20-2011
Rafael Wrote:I don't know Jack at all so it was coming across as more of a "fuck you losers I'm leaving the internet".
I think he actually was saying that. I turn on AIM, and usually get blasted with moronic vulgarity constantly from him so *shrugs*
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Jack - 09-20-2011
Rose Wrote:Dude. I have no idea what you're thinking. I just think you're a creepy asshole for harassing my friend via AIM and phone. I like crazy people. I'm a crazy person. But crazy =/= asshole.
OOOOH!
JER-RY! JER-RY!
Maury I gots somethin to say! I aint done never in mah life mistreated somebody who aint mistreated me in da firss plase. And dass all ima say on dats.
Mainly because that's all any of you will hear. Nothing I say will counteract what the other party wants everyone to believe about me out of jealousy, so feel free to think WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT.
BECAUSE I DONT GIVE A FUCK!
LMAO!
OOOOOH NO HE DI'NT!
Tyr Wrote:So what, in 24 hours your serotonin should be afloat again?
I'll check back then.
lol ecstasyyyy. I luh u veryyyy muuuuch. - Tech N9ne
This brings up another point. I'm constantly on one drug or another. I'm never sober, and on the rare occassion that I am sober, it's only so I am coherent enough to find more drugs. I, unlike anyone else to ever exist ever, not only smokes weed every day, but ALL DAY. Shit I'm smoking a blunt right now. And shooting up heroin. And shoving an ex tablet up my ass. Whilst typing this with my fucking heels and toes.
Mal Nova Wrote:I think he actually was saying that. I turn on AIM, and usually get blasted with moronic vulgarity constantly from him so *shrugs*
AWWWW.
AWWWW LOOKAT EM. THINKS HE'S PEOPLE.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Rafael - 09-20-2011
![[Image: cease.jpg]](http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t124/Maruset/cease.jpg)
Troll thread, moving on.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Jack - 09-20-2011
![[Image: outoutout.gif]](http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac199/jack699/outoutout.gif)
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Victoria - 09-20-2011
Quote:Maury I gots somethin to say! I aint done never in mah life mistreated somebody who aint mistreated me in da firss plase. And dass all ima say on dats.
When did I mistreat you? You've been an asshole to me for years. You apologized, said you would stop, and then YOU DID IT AGAIN.
Some life you have now.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Jack - 09-20-2011
For years! The amnesia... it burns!
Poor Victoria. Always the victim. Always treated poorly by her peers. Never given enough attention or comments on her ravishing good looks.
Are you ever going to grow up dear?
Also, I'm not going to deny any harassment. I'm not going to say harassment will cease, either. Because I have lost my mind, succumbed to jealous faggots that wanted me back in my room, and now I just don't give a fuck.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Victoria - 09-20-2011
You actually expect me to keep records over the last 10 years? You basically confirmed that you were,
Quote:(1:31:43 AM) VictoriaDBZ: Android 18 -_-
(1:31:49 AM) crimsonkilla2447: lmaaaao
(1:31:51 AM) crimsonkilla2447: wtffff
(1:32:02 AM) crimsonkilla2447: damn
(1:32:05 AM) crimsonkilla2447: thats a mindfuck
(1:32:22 AM) crimsonkilla2447: i never intentionally was an asshole to youj
(1:32:33 AM) crimsonkilla2447: you were one of my favorites
(1:32:55 AM) crimsonkilla2447: not that that means anything honestly
(1:33:00 AM) crimsonkilla2447: but you didnt seem to be a moron
(1:33:02 AM) crimsonkilla2447: or heartless
(1:33:07 AM) crimsonkilla2447: LIKE THE REST
You always made snide comments toward me on the boards when you were Bojack.
This entire thread is nothing but a trolling flame-baiting fiasco and it should be locked, it should never have been made. If Jack wanted to "reach out to us" or discuss something that hurt him, or talk about his disappointment in the community "shunning" him, or ruining a thread for him, he could do it with some sense of maturity.
No, instead he posts about past members who were HARASSING the community. BLACKMAILED members of the community, and were BANNED for legitimate reasons that the staff need not disclose to the entire community. He then goes on to mock us, talk like a gangster, and make sarcastic references to being a drugged up addict.
Someone who sees us as a FAMILY would look past a derailed thread and actually explain their situation. I can't even find the damn thread in question. The fact that this thread came up after a series of Jack harassing (at least two) staff members on AIM and by PHONE only further proves my point that he's doing nothing but trying to flame-bait with this thread.
That carrot eating danish guy max power - Jack - 09-20-2011
On the other hand, can you fucking read? I'm Max now. Yes I harassed you, bitch. I will find new ways to harass you in the future. None of this has anything to do with CHUBBS, the behavior of CHUBBS, how I am treated when I come HERE. Nobody is embarassing me by "burssin mah bubble" in front of "urrbody", what's the point?
I know.
The Max treatment.
Rally the troops. Let em know I done been a bad boy.
LOL
ROFL
Fuck.