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+--- Thread: Joke of Greatness. (/showthread.php?tid=26338)
Joke of Greatness. - Zarbon - 06-05-2005
I'm not sure if this should be labeled Mature or not, so, I'm going to leave a bit of a space before I begin. A friend of mine told me this...so enjoy...or don't enjoy. I'm not forcing you. Or am I?
Non-Joke
----------------------
Joke
So, there are these three guys. We'll call them, George, Jack, and David. They are in their early twenties and have trouble with the law. The local police, after two years of constant problems with them, decide that they would do something drastic. One day, they shot fireworks at a cat and proceeded to hang the dead body off of the gutter at city hall. The police, fed up with their shananigans, threw them in the squad car. After hours of driving, they find themselves in the middle of a barren desert. The police loot them of all food they carry, and they take their socks.
So George, Jack, and David find themselves in the middle of a hot desert. They decide to start walking, and maybe they can find something. After about an hour of trekking through the desert, they arrive at a sign. It reads: Fulfill your greatest wish, one mile ahead.
George, tired, turns to Jack. "Jack, I'm too tired to walk anymore, go see what this is about, get us some help."
Jack is too tired to argue, and he obeys. He makes the mile walk, and arrives at a single house. He knocks on the door, and the most disgusting, ugliest, most revolting ninety year old hag you've ever seen answers the door.
"Are you here from the sign sonny?" She asks.
"Yes. I'd like some water please."
"Sure, but before I fulfill your wish, you have to fulfill mine."
"What's your wish?" Jack asks.
"I want you to have sex with me."
Jack screams, and immediately turns and runs back to the sign.
The others watch him return. "Where's our water Jack?" George asks angrily.
"Yuck, this old lady wants me to have sex with her. Gross." Jack says.
"I know, I know, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." George mutters, heading to the house himself. When he arrives, he rings the doorbell, and the old lady appears. At the first sight of her, he screams 'HELL NO' and runs back.
"So where's our water now." Jack says sarcastically as he returns.
"She's worse then I thought." George says, utterly revolted.
"If you two won't do her. Then I will." Daviid says, sucking it up and walking to the house.
He arrives at the house, and is greeted by the old lady. "Are you here to fulfill my wish?" She says.
"Yes. I'd like a gallon of water in return."
"Lets do it in the kitchen." She says, leading him into her house. As they enter the kitchen, David spots three pieces of corn on the cob on the table. An idea hits him.
"Ok. We'll have sex. But you have to keep your eyes closed." He instructs. She agrees, and after she takes her clothes off, David ****s her with a corn on the cob. After they finish, he tosses it out the open window.
"That was wonderful." she says afterwards, "Do it again and you can have another wish."
"Ok, this time I want a Dodge Viper."
They proceed to do it again, and David uses the second piece of corn on the cob, afterwards, throwing it out the window.
"Once more. Anything you want." The old lady says once its finished.
"I want a billion dollars." David says, and ****s her with the last piece of corn, throwing it out the window when finished.
Once its finished, David leaves in a hurry. His stuff is waiting for him outside. He loads the Viper with the money and the water, and drives back to the sign. Only when he gets there, his friends are missing. He drives around for a while, but they're no where to be seen. "Maybe that hag knows where they are..." He thinks, and drives back to the hags house.
Much to his surprise, George and Jack are there, standing by the window.
"Guys, I've been looking all over for you." David says.
George turns to David, and he says: "Dude. You just missed the best three pieces of buttered corn ever!"
Joke of Greatness. - Zarbon - 06-05-2005
Don't blame me! I threw up the first time I heard it!
Joke of Greatness. - Reijin - 06-06-2005
....eeewwww..... *shudders*
Joke of Greatness. - Hellfighter 17 - 06-06-2005
All of these jokes are just not funny at all. Sorry, but it's true. Oh, Zarbon's was mildly disgusting, I guess. I've heard much worse. *shrug*
Joke of Greatness. - Kami - 06-06-2005
I've heard Zarbon's joke before.
Nice one Spice.
Joke of Greatness. - Burter - 06-06-2005
Spice:
+10 cool points
Joke of Greatness. - Ruhiel - 06-06-2005
Zarbon's joke: I almost threw up...
Spice's joke: Zzzzz... I've heard that one so many times. It was good the first time I heard it though.
KC's joke: Actually heard that one before too...
Joke of Greatness. - Reijin - 06-06-2005
I've heard KC's, but it involved a creature called a "Woollybooger" and the guy brought it home to show it off and he goes "Check this out, its called a Woollybooger" and his wife was pissed at him and was all "Oh yeah right, Woollybooger MY ASS.." and of course you know what happens then.
Joke of Greatness. - Toshiro - 06-07-2005
Quote:Originally posted by Furiza
Knock, Knock
GO AWAY!!!!
Joke of Greatness. - Spencinator - 06-07-2005
Quote:Originally posted by FurizaWhos there.
Knock, Knock