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+--- Thread: Omfgwtfspew (/showthread.php?tid=33884)
Omfgwtfspew - Old Janemba - 08-07-2006
How satirically poetic it all is. I froze my heart once a long time ago. I learned that there were only two kinds of people. The kind that hurt and the kind that did the hurting. The heart is a fragile thing, albeit I had escaped that. I was beyond true emotion in the sense that I had only friends and family, neither both for a while.
?Fuck the world.? I said. Chin up, chest high, fists wild. Anyone who?d thought they were going to tread on me had another thing coming. I was a regular revolutionary, rebelling against a forlorn world. I met a kid named Mike one day wearing the same I don?t give a fuck grin and we sailed the seven seas; Fought em all, fucking where the fucking was good.
I learn the most about life when I reflect on it in the presence of my friends these days. Guys like Mike who?d always be there for me, even though I wasn?t worth a damn to anyone but my family. I?d kill for that kid.
It?s funny how people can submit such emotional leakage to the internet without any sense of who it affects. Writing is my life. It is both what I do and who I am, and I am in every word I pen. A piece of my own stained glass world. I guess that?s why I want so much from it.
And it took someone whom I would?ve hurt to hurt me first to realize how great and truly fragile life is. To take the first swing at my cobalt core. Girlfriend cheated on me, basically, though she was in a completely incognizable state when it happened. And kept it hidden from me for two weeks. She was right to be afraid of telling me, I guess, in that she didn?t want our relationship to end. When she told me I went berserk, am still quite pissed, and I guess it?s just pride talking but I liked knowing that I was the only male to explore said nether regions. I told her I still cared about her and she apologized. Every shred of passion I had is lost. She was too drunk to remember it, I?m told over and over again, and the guy admittedly told me he had sex with her after I called him. I see the guy?s face (because I was friends with him!)every time I so much as think about her, and needless to say for a straight guy that isn?t exactly a turn on. I?ll kill the bastard if I ever get a hold of him. I can?t even write this without screwing my face up in a grimace, as much as I know she isn?t lying in this situation, it still hurts that she could lay beside me(and with me!) Up until now without telling me. The only reason I gave her a second chance being she told me about it in the first place.(There. I told someone.. Again. Maybe I can sleep.)
I?ve been on this website through three years of bullshit in my life. The same bullshit every single one of you goes through every day, most of you having problems that make my little life story look like a molehill. And none of you know me personally, since Nate and the old Recoome left. I feel like such a stranger here, probably because I come off as an emo/asshole. I?m not. I just don?t take part in any of the usual OOC fun that everyone seems to enjoy.
Anyway, I?ve done a lot of exploding here, both on the members(which I?ve apologized for) and in rants like this one. Phew. Now that that?s off my chest I have a better chance at scoring a ride on the Zzz train. With that said I?d like to close on this note: Smile. Love everyone who loves you, and only hate when it?s necessary to heal. Being pissed off is no fun.
IM me, I?m like a big teddy bear. . . with a force field and laser beams. Cause lasers are freakin' cool. But seriously, if anybody needs to get something off their chest, about me or life in general, hit me up.
This isn't a serious topic. There are no boundaries to be breached, because there are no borders. I'm really tired(both of society and fatigue), and I wish you all what I probably won't get. A good night's rest.
Omfgwtfspew - Old Janemba - 08-07-2006
It's true. ~_~
Omfgwtfspew - Hellfighter 17 - 08-07-2006
I kinda agree with Will; sometimes people don't leave that kinda thing 'cause they feel as though they can't. Iunno if this is teh situation, 'cause there is always more than what is said.
Either way, I hope you can make a reasonable arrangement for yourself concerning your girlfriend and that you both are happy.