+- CDBZ Archive (http://alex.zulenka.com)
+-- Forum: Administrative Forums (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=7)
+--- Forum: Joining Board (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=159)
+--- Thread: i want to be the announcer... (/showthread.php?tid=36353)
i want to be the announcer... - Hellfighter 17 - 12-03-2006
Everyone starts out with after-image, which is also known as "zanzoken."
That roleplay sample is not good enough. It is not long enough, you switch back and forth between present tense and past tense, and it lacks proper capitlization. Past tense is something along thse lines: "The boy had walked to the store alone. He did not expect to see a robber, and he did not. He continued to walk, and soon enough he jogged." Present tense would be this: "The boy is walking to the store alone. He is not expecting to seea robber, and he does not. He continues to wlak, and soon enough he is jogging."
You chould capitalize the beginning of every sentence, as well as proper names, such as "Goku." Plus, you use ellipses ("...") too often; in the context you use them, they are meant to represent a pause, and there are too many pauses there for it to have a nice effect. Plus, spellcheck before you submit, as there are a couple of spelling errors.
Please join the roleplaying school: http://cdbzrpg.dracondev.com/forum/board.php?boardid=157
i want to be the announcer... - Hellfighter 17 - 12-03-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Hell Fighter 17I edited this in, in-case you didn't see.
Please join the roleplaying school: http://cdbzrpg.dracondev.com/forum/board.php?boardid=157
i want to be the announcer... - Hellfighter 17 - 12-21-2006
Sorry for the extraordinarily long wait, man.
Read this to see how to set up dialogue, then conform your sample accordingly.
i want to be the announcer... - Hellfighter 17 - 12-23-2006
Just logout to read it. I didn't know it was that way.