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+--- Thread: The Planet Is Fine (/showthread.php?tid=36417)
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The Planet Is Fine - Tobias - 12-06-2006
We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet?
I'm getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?
The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!
We're going away. Pack your shit, folks. We're going away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.
You wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.
The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...asshole.
So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.
Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while.
~George Carlin
The Planet Is Fine - Jewtastic - 12-06-2006
God bless that man.
Seeing him live was one of the best things I have ever done...raping Garlic Jr. was the second.
The Planet Is Fine - Tobias - 12-06-2006
Woo! Top five!
The Planet Is Fine - Jewtastic - 12-06-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Garlic Jr
Woo! Top five!
You know it babe.
The Planet Is Fine - Grandpa Gohan - 12-06-2006
:O Someone give that man a doller, for he speaks the truth.
Damn snails.
The Planet Is Fine - Captain Silver - 12-06-2006
Wow. That was great, I best pack my shit. =o
The Planet Is Fine - Celipa - 12-06-2006
Genius. For a second, I thought you wrote that Garlic. My jaw was getting ready to drop.
The Planet Is Fine - Belle Hibiki - 12-06-2006
Wow. Carlin was a retard. XD
The Planet Is Fine - Tobias - 12-06-2006
Actually I wrote that for Carlin.
The Planet Is Fine - Captain Silver - 12-06-2006
Sorry if this is off topic, but I found this on YouTube by the same dude:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SWquwHlGXZE&mode=related&search=
The Planet Is Fine - Tobias - 12-06-2006
Oh hey. Yeah. I should have mentioned this.
If you disagree with Carlin's comedy, don't get bent out of shape. Remember there are other opinions than yours. If you wish to express these alternative opinions feel free to do so in a positive and calm manner, lest this thread be thrown to the abyss, which I do not want.
You may continue with the funny.
The Planet Is Fine - Captain Silver - 12-06-2006
For people who didn't read Garlcs first post. I found the Planet is fine on YouTube.
Part 1
Part 2
Edit: GJ's part picks up from around 6:40 on Part 1.
The Planet Is Fine - Tobias - 12-06-2006
While we are at the video thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAW0wnj0Xi8&NR
The Planet Is Fine - Hellfighter 17 - 12-06-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Kid Buu
Wow. Carlin was a retard. XD
The Planet Is Fine - Tobias - 12-06-2006
He is both amusing and intelligent. Perverted, depraved and in many cases wrong, but not retarded.
The Planet Is Fine - Saz - 12-06-2006
Heheh, Plastic. I don't know, I think he's on the right track though.
The Planet Is Fine - Jewtastic - 12-06-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Garlic Jr
He is both amusing and intelligent. Perverted, depraved and in many cases wrong, but not retarded.
No where near a retard...
The Planet Is Fine - Ruhiel - 12-06-2006
He's not retarded, he's just realistic. And oddly enough... right. The planet's fine, we're just the ones fucked. I want to save that and show it to the environmentalist fanatics at school. Tell them to change their slogan from "Save the Planet" to "Save our Asses!"
Still, I like the existance of the human race. We need to preserve us, so we should preserve the environment we can live in. =P
The Planet Is Fine - Raz - 12-06-2006
/saves
Amen to that, walk into any McDonalds in America to see just how fucked our new generations coming in are. If STDs don't get you, the cheap burgers will.
The Planet Is Fine - Spencinator - 12-06-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Goten;-; Damn you double quarter pounder, I knew you'd be the death of me!!!! >_<
/saves
Amen to that, walk into any McDonalds in America to see just how fucked our new generations coming in are. If STDs don't get you, the cheap burgers will.