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+---- Thread: Letter to Senator Jim Talent (/showthread.php?tid=3954)
Letter to Senator Jim Talent - Abel - 02-09-2005
So in my writing class, we have been doing a big research project that is worth over 300 points and will either make or beak me. It is due this Friday. I will post write what I have tomarrow because it's on the schools computer. But I like it a lot and we will be debating the issues we researched and I am great at debating.
So my thesis statement is:
The government needs to regulate the salaries of professional sports players.
And then I go off of that with three contentions and we had to get 4 articles to help us and we needed to cite our sources and make 50 note cards from that. It's a big-deal project. But in the end, I have the choice of sending it to a senator, I picked Jim Talent because he was the first one listed =/.
I am just making this thread because I will be writing it and posting it to see what you guys think of it and for a little help. Any thoughts on this? And please refrain from spamming as this will result in a warning from myself. =/
Letter to Senator Jim Talent - Abel - 02-10-2005
Here is the letter, I just edited out my address and name. Remember, this is a rough draft, after making revisions of another draft. But the version on the school's computer has all of the article names and stuff where I cite my sources. In this project, though, we can't really put our own information, just information we found.
(Edited)
(Edited)
Ashland, MO, 65010
The Honorable Senator Jim Talent
U.S. Senate
Washington, D.C. 20510
February 07, 2005
Dear Senator Talent:
The government should regulate the salaries of professional sports players. The wages of these players are outrageous. According to an article I read, "Mike Tyson earned $280,898 every second in his 1995 fight against Peter McNeely; the fight last one minute and twenty-nine seconds" That equals $24,999,922 from only one fight. As a Missouri citizen, I am very concerned about the salaries sports players are making. As my senator, I am asking you to sponsor the legislation to regulate the salaries of professional sports players.
Sports are always fun to watch, but when a person's favorite team does bad because they can't affor to fill their roster, it concers the fans. "In football, about 15,000 players are eligible to play in the NFL, but only 336 are drafted and 160 makeit to the final roster." According information in other articles, "Only about 40 NBA players are added to the rosters a year." For some reason, though, I don't believe that's the only reason players can't be signed to teams with less money. That's probably after reading another article entitled "Show me the Money" that says, "Sports players refuse contracts and demand the big bucks."
The ratio of education to earnins is disproportionate to everyone else in the United States when it comes to sports. "Allend Iverson was in jail, and when he got out, he hit the big time..." After hearing that, anybody should be able to see a flaw in sports. If Allen Iverson was a convict and applied to work at any other buisness, he would most likely be turned down. "In 2003-04 Shaq make $25 million more than the next president over a four-year term." If that doesn't concern anybody, then maybe if they knew "In 1996, there were twenty times more black lawyers and black physicians than in sports, but sports players, whose careers last on average less than five years, make more earnings."
If player's wages were decreased it would dramatically decrease the cost of broadcasting national sports games. This would increase the hours of sports played on nation broadcasting stations. Just airing one game can cost a lot, like"...in 1994, to air the Super Bowl, NBC paid $40 million..." Blame can't be put on the broadcasting stations exactly, because in"...1996, Congress passed the Sports Broadcasting Act..." If there wasn't a law to broadcast sports, then sports wouldn't be as popular as they are now. There's a lot of money being spent on sports, according to "Economic Values of Professional SPort Franchise in the United States" "...1998, rights to televise the NFL games were sold for eight years for $17.6 billion."
The government should regulate the salaries in professional sports. According to "Show Me the Money" "...Emmitt Smith earns $45,000 for every touchdown he makes..." This is why I urge you to sponsor legislation to regulate the salaries of professional sports players.
Sincerely,
Evan (Edited)
Any thoughts? Edits? etc..
Letter to Senator Jim Talent - Hellfighter 17 - 02-10-2005
I like it. You went straight to the point and had good, convincing pieces of information. I noticed spelling/grammatical msitakes, but nothing much. The only thing, though, you jump from the players weages, then to the franchise's, then in your concluding paragrpah you say the players' wages should be cut back. That was a bit confusing, because you had more information on the franchise's amount of money made, instead of sticking to the players'.
Oh, yea, it's the 10th =\
Letter to Senator Jim Talent - Abel - 02-10-2005
I made it before, that's why the date is off, and I just typed up my rough draft of my rough draft. Thanks for the compliments.
But we had to have 3 different contentions which are reasons why (Thesis statement here). And so my contentions were of how sports teams can't fill rosters to the ratio of education to salary is disporportioned, to the cost of broadcasting.
Then the concluding statement with the thesis statement again.
Letter to Senator Jim Talent - Hellfighter 17 - 02-10-2005
Okay, I kind of became confused because it seemed as though you were going to focus on the players, I forgot you need three supporting ideas.
I hate writing those kind of essays because they always make us choose from certain statements for our thesis, then they are always horrible choices =(
Letter to Senator Jim Talent - Abel - 02-11-2005
Why don't I just throw in that he must resign from his position as Senator and kill president Bush and put you in his place?
Letter to Senator Jim Talent - Hellfighter 17 - 02-11-2005
I thought that was Plan B?