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A story - Printable Version +- CDBZ Archive (http://alex.zulenka.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character Forums (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=8) +--- Forum: The Legendary Asylum (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=133) +---- Forum: Workshop (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=32) +---- Thread: A story (/showthread.php?tid=4443) |
A story - Ruhiel - 04-16-2005 The beginning was good, but the ending, that didn't come out too good. Quote:Thus ended the valiant human race brought to a depressing end. Just kidding. NO NO NO NO NO! Unless this is a class project or something and you're required to do this DON'T do that. You were writing this story as if you were the narrarator. Don't just have this sudden jump to a "and they all died. jk jk." it makes it bad. That, and it got REALLY confusing there at the end, with reinforcements coming out of nowhere. It is sorta random, those things need a bit of an explanation to the reader, even if the characters don't. It's called dramatic irony, and it helps improve writing pieces. Otherwise, I thought it was a good story right until that sentence I quoted. Good job. A story - Sage - 04-16-2005 Uh... if you're gonna use Biggs, you should use Vicks and Wedge too. Just sayin'. A story - Sage - 04-17-2005 Quote:Originally posted by Bido -_- I can't possibly be the only one who gets this. A story - Sage - 04-17-2005 N-no. That's not... Well, I guess it is right, but it's not the reference I was trying to get at. Biggs, Vicks, and Wedge. They're all in Crono Trigger. A story - Zarbon - 04-17-2005 Quote:Originally posted by Bra Yup, in the Tent of Horrors. |