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+---- Thread: the fragile end (/showthread.php?tid=4868)
the fragile end - Vegeta - 07-23-2005
A domino push, tailbone crush. I piled into you. We ran through dandelion fields. Yellow sparks chased our shadow. You said "I love you so.".
I found a new butterfly, whose wings do not fold. I found her color to be unlike any I'd seen before. The color I always wind up crashing into. Bound to a crush with barbed wire. The crash site mourned. White crosses marked the fallen. "Here lies: True Love."
I could have been mistaken. I saw you wink at me and smile. The green bow you always kept in your hair. You said it was so I would always recognize you. No mistakes, you told me.
This is the last time I will write about you. You are a butterfly. But I am no net. I do not wish to keep you.
Do we wish to play this game? Chase and lie. Hide and deceive. Don't answer the phone.
Lampost lake veiw. Spotlight on a sidewalk crack. Your personification. Bought buckets of paint. "Hides flaws and imperfections."
Would you be jealous to see my butterfly? Soaring to cloud limits with such fine guster and grace. The sense of replace. You will finally be replaced.
The dab of my paints upon this new canvas. A fresh start. Twist the lense into focus. Sunrise on the horizon. Snap the shudder before it's gone.
the fragile end - Rem-13 - 07-23-2005
My favorite of these yet.
the fragile end - Vegeta - 07-23-2005
I think it's my favorite of my recent writing too.
the fragile end - Hellfighter 17 - 07-23-2005
As always: I loved it. The ending seemed a bit mixed up to me, but nonetheless excellent. The writing style is simply magnificent.
the fragile end - Kami - 07-23-2005
8o
nice
i wish i didn't suck
the fragile end - Vegeta - 07-26-2005
i want more comments
plz?
the fragile end - Ruhiel - 07-26-2005
Honestly? I liked your "to a dying lover" better than this one. While you really got the message across well in this one, I just liked that other one better.
You did a good job, it's just that some of your analogies didn't seem to flow well with me. But that's just my opinion.
the fragile end - Hellfighter 17 - 07-27-2005
Quote:Originally posted by Android 20I, as well. That one spoke to me much more, but this one had some great lines, as well.
Honestly? I liked your "to a dying lover" better than this one. While you really got the message across well in this one, I just liked that other one better.