+- CDBZ Archive (http://alex.zulenka.com)
+-- Forum: Out of Character Forums (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=8)
+--- Forum: RPG Discussion (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=125)
+--- Thread: C & C For A New Story (/showthread.php?tid=7762)
C & C For A New Story - Ander - 06-02-2006
My first impression is that you can make a coherent sentence. That's good.
However, I need more material to go off of than that, since you're new.
Maybe somebody else might be willing to share their opinion. That'd be great.
C & C For A New Story - Ander - 06-02-2006
That wasn't an insult. It was, in fact, intended to be a compliment. You'd be surprised how many people who can't put a decent sentence together.
C & C For A New Story - Piccolo Daimoun - 06-09-2006
I skimmed it cause I have to sleep, but I have a few things to say.
Your word choice is pretty cool, some different words such as slumber spiced up the writing. I suggest you throw in a few commas, however, to break apart sentences at certain times. It seemed kinda clumsy at parts.
However, you remind me of someone else, but I can't recall. You ever been to Chubbs before, or been on FoF?