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+--- Thread: My RP (/showthread.php?tid=7975)
My RP - Chase - 06-14-2006
Quote:The sun was glowing it's usual golden glimmer.
It just sounds...awkward...too many words starting with g in one sentence. EDIT: Oh yeah and because it's possesive and not a verb it should be "its"
Example: Its glow shined upon the Earth. - Possesive
It's the sun who is shining. - Verb
M'Kay?
You could have said. "The sun, high on the sky, was radiating with its usual golder shine upon the Earth."
Quote:All around, earth was going through
If you meant earth as in ground, it's okay. But if you mean the planet it should be capitalized. And preferably with an articualtion "the Earth"
I just woke up, so I only read the first post and looked only at the grammar. Someone else cand o the rest, but this can give you a good hint I suppose
My RP - Ander - 06-14-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Toma
Quote:The sun was glowing it's usual golden glimmer.
It just sounds...awkward...too many words starting with g in one sentence.
Actually, that sentence is perfectly fine the way it is, barring the "it's." The 'g-g-g' is alliteration, which is actually a very successful tool in drawing attention to the writing. Don't change it.
My RP - Chase - 06-14-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Bardock
Quote:Originally posted by Toma
Quote:The sun was glowing it's usual golden glimmer.
It just sounds...awkward...too many words starting with g in one sentence.
Actually, that sentence is perfectly fine the way it is, barring the "it's." The 'g-g-g' is alliteration, which is actually a very successful tool in drawing attention to the writing. Don't change it.
You're right, it may be the fact that I'm not born english.
My RP - Jonathan Meer - 06-14-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Bardock
Quote:Originally posted by Toma
Quote:The sun was glowing it's usual golden glimmer.
It just sounds...awkward...too many words starting with g in one sentence.
Actually, that sentence is perfectly fine the way it is, barring the "it's." The 'g-g-g' is alliteration, which is actually a very successful tool in drawing attention to the writing. Don't change it.
Agreed. It needs a strong buffer to really draw out the power in that sentence, but that's pure gold, there. Nice stuff.
Haven't read the rest of the post yet, just wanted to comment on that. =/
My RP - Rem-13 - 06-15-2006
I don't think that's going to fly with staff.
My RP - Rem-13 - 06-15-2006
That used to be the case. One I would always say to people who were upset over lack of 'cool' characters.
Untill, in the staffs infinite wisdom, they decided to make the 'Artistic Interpretation' thread.
My RP - Jonathan Meer - 06-15-2006
Sorry bud, that pic won't fly.