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+--- Thread: Tmw2 (/showthread.php?tid=8616)
Tmw2 - Super Buu - 08-03-2006
Check it out.
Any thoughts on how it's shaping up? Half of it's written, half of it's not. If you've been reading, you'll know it's split into past and present, and the past is what I've got yet to write (yes, that means the next post is already written
). Originally it was going to just be one big fight scene.Also, if you're confused as to the plot, ask here and I'll do my best to explain it to you. Like, if you need a rundown of the the original Monster Within or whatever.
Tmw2 - Ander - 08-09-2006
Bric-a-brac? The only person I've ever known to use that phrase lived in a shanty. Oh, the memories.
Quote:Originally written by Super BuuXD
?If it ain?t the cunt ?imself!?
I don't know how to say this better, but nice reverse development. In Buu's past, he speaks crudely and is mostly ruled by instinct and emotion. This shows he's evolved, a lot. Most people trip up when they're trying to scoop out a good past, and they end up contradicting their future or are forced to retcon to adjust for a sudden change they've made.
Also, when people try to explain the past, they do so only at very poignant moments that has immediate relevance to the present, but usually always do so as concisely as possible, so ping-ponging back and forth with full posts shows that you either have no life or pay a lot of attention to backstories. Possibly both. Your transitions are smooth.
Creative incorporation of dialect, using 'thee' and 'thou' and good old stuff like that, but very Shakespearian, so it's a hit or miss decision depending if people are able to get through it.
A lot of your apostrophes are backwards.
Everybody loves albinos.
You sick, morbid person. Bodies. EVERYWHERE. Can't give the kid a break. >=(
Tmw2 - Super Buu - 08-10-2006
Quote:Originally posted by BardockThat seems to be a problem with Word - it won't autocorrect them. I have to manually delete and retype an apostrophe if it's wrong for whatever reason. If you know how to make Word autocorrect it, I'd love you forever.
A lot of your apostrophes are backwards.
Quote:You sick, morbid person. Bodies. EVERYWHERE. Can't give the kid a break. >=(Yeah. I felt bad while typing it. But hey, all the more reason to hate SB. >_>
Thanks for the C&C, amigo.
Tmw2 - Super Buu - 08-31-2006
Oh shit! Drama! =O
Don't you just hate me for the post layout now?
Tmw2 - Kazuya - 08-31-2006
Drama, indeed.
I absolutely LOVE this story, Buu. This last post makes me want more. So get to work!! >=o
As far as improvement? None. Well, yeah. Keep pumping these things out.
So, not to spoil it, but I can't believe the twists you threw in there. The last was unexpected.
Everyone, get your lazy asses up and read this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Demand it!!
Tmw2 - Jack - 09-09-2006
Quote:Originally written by Super Buu
?If it ain?t the cunt ?imself!?
Thats fucking brilliant.
Tmw2 - Old Pigero - 09-13-2006
AGH... Wow, so I read the first post. No, ugh... ew...ew...ew... I have way to much of an imagination to read that kind of stuff... but I want to read more... MORE... :<
Tmw2 - Kazuya - 09-13-2006
Wait till ya read the rest. ^_^
He probably won't be working on it until after the saga, but yeah, Supes, MORE. I can't C&C unless you write more. ;.;
Tmw2 - Old Pigero - 09-13-2006
8o It gets worse? Urgh, I was reading the second post... scared that he might rip someone's leg off. O_O PLEASE TELL ME HE DOESN'T DO THAT.
Tmw2 - Kazuya - 09-13-2006
I can't tell you, but the characters that he's used in there for a while...something big is going to happen.
I think you'll like it, the writing, that is. I was a little angered towards the end because of a certain event happening, and just so happened I liked that certain thing =)
Tmw2 - Super Buu - 09-13-2006
Just for you guys: not one, but two more posts.
Tmw2 - Super Buu - 09-13-2006
/double post
The flashback posts are completely done, as you can probably tell. Everything in them has lead up to now. And now Buu finally understands how to use Spiritken at will (up until this point, he's only ever been able to trigger it involuntarily).
I've never thought about a single post for as long as I have this next one. It's been in my mind for many, many months. So many possible ideas may be going into it, I'm not sure where to begin. But it's the grand finale. This has been, without a doubt, my favourite storyline. Not the most fun or easy to write, but the end result tops anything else I've ever written.
Tmw2 - Kazuya - 09-14-2006
8o
That's really all I have to say. That and your writing has blossomed into a greatness unparallelled. Its no wonder I <3 me some Super Buu. ^_^ This whole story has to be the best peice of roleplaying and/or writing I have read, and I think it is safe to say that if you should choose to become a freelance writer, you shouldn't have no problem doing it, because I'll be your first and greatest fan. =D
Bravo, man. Seriously. Wonderful work.
Tmw2 - Super Buu - 09-14-2006
We've still got the conclusion to go, but for the most part, this story is done.
I like to think I deserve this beer.
Tmw2 - Super Buu - 11-20-2006
Hah! I bet you all thought I was lying about the epilogue. Well, here it is.
My personal favourite extract is the following:
Quote:?I?ll explain if you sit down,? instructed the Lord, gesturing to a chair.
Super gazed up at his teacher in defiance.
Vine heaved a sigh. ?Don?t be difficult, Buu. Just do it.?
Buu hesitated, looking at the chair next him. Just do it. Had it been Bibidi talking to him, there would have been no contest. Sit or stand. Stand and be ignored, or starved, or electrocuted. What kind of choice was that?
And yet here Vine was, giving him the decision to do whatever he wanted. The monster wanted to say yes, to accept the invitation with open arms. But something got in the way. An image at the back of his mind; the face of Bibidi. That fat, repulsive grin ? brought on by the pleasure of seeing what he wanted to see ? compliance.
Buu?s frustration built up. What could he do? He felt trapped. If he stood, sure, he wouldn?t give his master the satisfaction of getting his own way ? but what way to live was that?
The Lord watched, a frown upon his face. It was clear to see that Buu was troubled. Vine was seeing, first-hand, the one thing that held his student back. It was as if an anchor was attached to the being?s foot, weighing him down wherever he went.
?Buu.?
The monster snapped out of his thoughts, turning to the person who?d addressed him. ?What??
?What?s holding you back?? perused the Lord. ?Why is it that you always have to ignore other people and go your own way? Even if it spites yourself??
Buu?s lips remained sealed, but his crimson eyes bore into those of Vine, as if to say; I can?t. I just can?t.
Vine slapped a hand to his face, dragging each bony finger across his bag-ridden eyes. There were some problems people just had to solve for themselves, and this was one of them. ?Fine,? he muttered. ?You can stand if you want, but I?m sitting.? The Lord promptly sank back into his marble chair, flicking a stray piece of chicken off of his arm. ?Ask me whatever you like.?
Purely for the background on Buu's thought patterns. I never even meant to get into that little complex of his. Like I said to Al/17; beneath that veil of overconfidence, Supes really does have some fucking issues. XD
I'd also like to thank Kibbles, via this thing I wrote months ago, which I was eventually going to post as part of a gigantic 'explanation' for the whole thing. But I'm happy posting just this.
Quote:The most important thing about Zanshin is that he never considers himself as the bad guy. He?s not an evil bastard, and he doesn?t do what he does out of spite. The downward spiral from ?good guy with a vengeance? to ?blood lusted zealot? wasn?t immediate. You could see in The Monster Within that he preferred non-violent methods, disarming the mayor?s guards instead of actually hitting them. He was an honourable person. It was what Buu did at the end of TMW1 that pushed him over the threshold, and in that sense SB is actually the bad guy.
KB did an excellent job of portraying Zanshin?s growing superstition and his slowly being overwhelmed by the need for revenge in ?Take Two?. It took over his life until literally all he cared about was avenging his planet. Because he, like many others, believed Bibidi to be lost/dead, he took out his anger on the most obvious source, the vessel of destruction - Super Buu.
The RoSaT was basically a plot device for me, allowing me to accentuate Zanshin?s growth in power and to fortify his mental instability. Since Kami took over the lookout from Dende (who already knew Zan from Monster Within), he was able to trick the kindly old feller into using his room. Then he travelled to Vegeta for the final showdown.
By writing this, I also realised that SB has some definite correlations with myself, which mainly became apparent in this last post. For varying reasons, we both find it difficult to communicate with other people. Boh.
Anyway, just thought I'd say that. As a rough estimate, this has been in the planning/drafting stages for half of my time here at Chubbs. XD Any comments or critiquing would be super-appreciated.
*bows out*
Tmw2 - Old Pigero - 11-20-2006
Wow, I take back what I said. That whole thing totally sucked. Like majorly to the max. </kidding> </notreally>
Tmw2 - Belle Hibiki - 11-20-2006
Way to set the bar high! *grumble*
But yeah, awesome read. I can't wait to roleplay with you in DA:C.