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+--- Thread: Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 (/showthread.php?tid=9830)
Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 - Alura - 12-05-2006
Looking for Some Fun
Give critism and praise, and leave a link to your own. I'll personally rate whoever rates mind. The idea is to keep rating the roleplay above your own, in order to get ratings from everyone else.
Give C&C, not just a rating number.
Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 - Shun - 12-05-2006
I just read the one you posted in heaven with me....and I hate you...I loved it. Burter is cool....um yeah the only thing I saw were like 2 mayb 3 grammatical errors...that was it besides that your golden!
Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 - Belle Hibiki - 12-05-2006
As Yamcha didn't leave a link...
Burter: I liked it; there were some interesting writing techniques used in their, and it's nice to see people not afraid to break some grammatical rules in order to make a text more palatable (one word sentences ftw). I only spotted the occasional true error in there, such as "Without milliseconds", when I'm sure you meant "within"; also "if you're dead" when I think it means "if you're not dead"... Unless that was just a real mistake on the part of the character. >_>
Overall? It was good; it could just use a little polishing - perhaps a second read through after an hour or so away - to really shine.
Yamcha: Your post immediately prior to Burts runs into some danger of being a little too glib, but at least it keeps up a brisk pace. I personally could've used more description, but that's a totally personal point.
You kept me reading until the end of the post. You just, sort of like Burter, might find a second read through beneficial. Also, some weird grammar omissions there, which were weird because you would use the same rules find later O_o (some periods missing completely from dialogue; not even a comma to relieve their panting breath :*( ). But you've definitely got great potential.
Link to mine:
Kid Buu acts like a douche. Surprise!
Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 - Sol - 12-05-2006
EDIT: Kid Buu beat me to it
Hmm...honestly I liked it, from what I saw I couldn't see any major grammar mistakes or anything like that but I did have one problem with it. It might just be me on this one but I kind of disliked the abruptness of the entire rp in general. I'll explain.
For example Burter had never meet Yamcha before in his entire life, but all of a sudden you just took an instant liking to him moments after meeting him only because "he seemed trustworthy". I've seen it done before but to me those scenarios always just seemed unlikely in real life, I mean would you just randomly trust someone you met literally three seconds ago? Like I said maybe that is just me being too nit picky but in an rp like that where everything is nearly perfect I had to nit pick to find anything to critic.
8.5/10
You accomplished what you set out to do in a very direct role play, cutting straight to the chase with no fluff. I liked it a lot, but it could have been a 10 had you added a slight bit more detail into it.
BTW this was my first time ever rating a role play so I apoligize if I rambled or didn't provide enough reason to back my opinions.
Spar: Pikkon vs Murasaki
when I wrote it I was sooo out of the rping mood and haden't put any effort into anything chubbs related in well over a month and I would really appreciate some C&C to help me get back on track.
Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 - Alura - 12-05-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Pikkon
For example Burter had never meet Yamcha before in his entire life, but all of a sudden you just took an instant liking to him moments after meeting him only because "he seemed trustworthy". I've seen it done before but to me those scenarios always just seemed unlikely in real life, I mean would you just randomly trust someone you met literally three seconds ago? Like I said maybe that is just me being too nit picky but in an rp like that where everything is nearly perfect I had to nit pick to find anything to critic.
Some people just give off that warm, fuzzy feeling. Burter has a history with people like that. Looking at Yamcha's vault, I'd say he definely qualified for that fuzzy feeling. He's a genunily good guy.
I do think you're being a little critical on the character itself, instead of the writing.
Fixed the errors, Kid Buu. You'll find I hate spellcheck or proofreading, because I'm lazier then sin.
Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 - Saz - 12-05-2006
Pikkon:
I really like your spar with Murasaki, I've read some of your previous posts and though it was obvious you had some quality, I still didn't see how you managed to get into RB. But reading the spar I'm begining to see how good you are. You put so much detail into every move, (detail is probable one of my biggest weakness's so I appreciate someone who can put alot of detail into a post.) I don't know what else to say really, it wasn't perfect but it grabbed my attention and I really enjoyed reading it. Basically just keep up the good work. =P
Eh I didn't really want critism, I just wanted to praise Pikkon =D if you want to look at my last post and give me some advice go for it.
Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 - Inactive Janemba - 12-05-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Sazuaa
Pikkon:
I really like your spar with Murasaki, I've read some of your previous posts and though it was obvious you had some quality, I still didn't see how you managed to get into RB. But reading the spar I'm begining to see how good you are. You put so much detail into every move, (detail is probable one of my biggest weakness's so I appreciate someone who can put alot of detail into a post.) I don't know what else to say really, it wasn't perfect but it grabbed my attention and I really enjoyed reading it. Basically just keep up the good work. =P
Eh I didn't really want critism, I just wanted to praise Pikkon =D if you want to look at my last post and give me some advice go for it.
Well I read a few of your post and each were damn near perfect. Nice length, great grammer, kept me interested in your story. So I give you 9.5/10, just cause you can always improve.
Janemba vs Pui Pui
Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 - Jewtastic - 12-05-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Janemba
Quote:Originally posted by Sazuaa
Pikkon:
I really like your spar with Murasaki, I've read some of your previous posts and though it was obvious you had some quality, I still didn't see how you managed to get into RB. But reading the spar I'm begining to see how good you are. You put so much detail into every move, (detail is probable one of my biggest weakness's so I appreciate someone who can put alot of detail into a post.) I don't know what else to say really, it wasn't perfect but it grabbed my attention and I really enjoyed reading it. Basically just keep up the good work. =P
Eh I didn't really want critism, I just wanted to praise Pikkon =D if you want to look at my last post and give me some advice go for it.
Well I read a few of your post and each were damn near perfect. Nice length, great grammer, kept me interested in your story. So I give you 9.5/10, just cause you can always improve.
Janemba vs Pui Pui
I liked it. Other then a few minor things, starting a new paragraph when you have diolauge (which I dont really mind, but others here do), using a few diffrent adjectives enstead of black and white warrior, but other then that man, it was pretty good.
Here!
Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 - Alura - 12-06-2006
Quote:Originally posted by Recoome
Sorry to intrude from the original purpose, but are we allowed to show roleplays from other places? The reason being, I don't have anything here that I want C&C on, while on FoF I do. Would that be alright?
Afraid not. Chubbs only. FoF does have a place to put this, though
Rate the Roleplay Above You, Version 5982874 - Mal Nova - 12-06-2006
Well it set the background of the RPing to come for a bit, that was nice. Detail seemed good. I had no problem becoming bored while reading it.Obviouslt I have nothing bad to say about the RP. Cept after the italicized 'perfect, maybe a comma should go there?
Here's Retane:
Ties of Death