Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Ja'ar
#1
Name: Ja'ar

Age: 14

Race: Generic

Sex: Male

Starting Planet:

Profession: Unemployed

Fighting Style: Dirty

Short Bio: A nondescript warrior who aligns wholly to neither the forces of good or evil, but who stands fast to a code of honor he keeps to himself. Once a thing of legend, he now refuses to take the spotlight, preferring instead to be nothing more than a mere stepping stone to others and their achieving of greatness.

General Description:

Starting Abilities: Magnetism Manipulation, Cyberpathy

Trait: Pack Mentality

Stats: (all must be a combined total of 100%, with the exception of choosing Inner Strengh as an Ability, which gives you an extra 15%)

* Strength - 10%
* Focus - 60%
* Endurance - 10%
* Agility - 20%


Role-play Sample:

Oh but it had been more words back and forth after he'd been released from the chains that held him bound by him throats collar to the floor,he had no care oif it was seen as disrespectful,he took herself to the bathroom to relive herself and wash him hands and face. Coffee taken and nothing more then that as it came out from his lips that the faster he stopped being so smart mouthed, he might actually like being his " Pet".

Smart he was and once found out he would be leaving that evening,he did tone it down slightly but still managed to put him foot in him mouth by stating he was not a meal to be had but more the dessert to savor. Yeah foot in mouth syndrome to the tenth power. Not that he was pure and innocent,he was very much removed from that aspect but since 3,he'd been alone,even before that he had been alone really as folks cared more for their social life then for the little recluse they had created and at that point in time ,all he had wanted was to sing.

Even that was denied,not even staff could bare to spend more time then was needed for him to consume a meal or go through him classes with the tutors,on the streets,it was not affectionate either and the sex life he did have prior had been rough,though pleasure had indeed been had and given,he was not skilled at such matters and strangely enough,he'd nerver been kissed.

She was not one to dwell on him past intentionally but it did have its ways of poking at her,rising its ugly head at the wrong times and always left him wondering what he had done wrong to be considered unwanted save for things he could do for another. he had no want to think of what laid ahead once HE returned. Still had yet to call him by the titles he gave her,Sir or Master has not passed him lips once,not even in spite.

The house he did wander through eventually,the two beasty animals were never far behind him and unless he could sprout wings and fly,he saw no possiable means of a real chance of escape and after the longest time wandering,it was the Butler,Joseph that finally bid him to take solid food,which he did though not in liking of keeping him form fit for the Master and him strength. There was less liking of what Joseph was implying with that and weither it was a treat or common or to lull him into sleep,wine had been placed in the chamber he was to sleep in.

Not foolish to pass up such,he did imbide the wine as he linger in that oversized gold inlaid bathtub and the past two days events wore him weary to the point of him finishing the bottle as he dried him hair and once he found the most un-enticing robe in the walk in closest,he drew it on,belted and knotted it closed for whatever good it would do before he buried herself under blankets and pulled a pillow over him head to sleep.

Stated earlier,him mind had a way of making him remember at the wrong times and sleep was one of those times. Images of the home he grew up in would begin to flutter through him mind and while not as big as the house he was currently inside of,this place was very much like it,minus the beasty dogs and of course HIM. Tutors and servents flashed through him mind,him standing near a piano singing words in latin in a hauntingly sweet contralto voice, the Teacher scolding when he missed or failed to hold a note long enough and he took it all with smiles and tried again till he was perfect. In the image,he could have been no more then ten.

When it was corrected and he was given a moments rest,he had gone to hug the Mother standing in the doorway,all smiles and bright faced with hope of acceptence and was pushed away , saying he would wrinkle the gown he wore. This image faded rapidly and one of Skeet shooting on the great lawn played through,Daddy yelling he had missed the simplest of shots and wondered aloud if he was the product of him mother's extra marital affairs,these terms at the time were lost on him but the feeling of being rejected,worthless was not,nor did he ever forget.

There were many more that played through and in all,he was either pushed aside,told he was not good enough or what they had expected from thier union,there was only one sequence that showed some form of care,him with an eldery man that he resembled greatly,his paternal Grandfather,six months now in his grave though that was not known as of yet. No one had told the old man,Ja'ar had run away and with the disease that was eating away him mind,Dora was forgotten.

Ja'ar slept heavily in deep soft warmth in him Master's bed though yet to have called him such,it was the comfort of such a bed that bid him such deep sleep and in such a way not felt since still at home.

But,sadly, no one had ever reported the young boy missing and none had so much as lifted a couch cushion in search of him.
Reply
#2
I have to ask...is English your second language? Your RP sample looks like it was put through a translator.
[Image: VictoriaJuly.jpg]
[Image: ManSoldWorld.png]
Reply
#3
I had help, this should be better!




Name: Ja'ar

Age: 14

Race: Generic

Sex: Male

Starting Planet:

Profession: Unemployed

Fighting Style: Dirty

Short Bio: A nondescript warrior who aligns wholly to neither the forces of good or evil, but who stands fast to a code of honor he keeps to himself. Once a thing of legend, he now refuses to take the spotlight, preferring instead to be nothing more than a mere stepping stone to others and their achieving of greatness.

General Description:

Starting Abilities: Magnetism Manipulation, Cyberpathy

Trait: Pack Mentality

Stats: (all must be a combined total of 100%, with the exception of choosing Inner Strength as an Ability, which gives you an extra 15%)

* Strength - 10%
* Focus - 60%
* Endurance - 10%
* Agility - 20%


Role-play Sample:

Oh, but it had been mere words back and forth after he'd been released from the chains that bound him by his throat to a collar attached to a dungeon floor. He had long stopped caring whether or not it was seen as disrespectful. Those few times he had to relieve and bathe himself, he was more than thankful for. It wasn't that his Master was a cruel one, as far as Ja'ar could tell, but the sooner he stopped being such a smart aleck and began actually taking the time to know his captive, the better it would be for all.

Before his Master left that evening, he forced Ja'ar to perform a little demonstration where the Master's foot was placed firmly in Ja'ar's mouth while a metal apparatus kept the young slave from closing his teeth down around it: symbolic of the fact that he was the property of someone else, had been so since he was 3, but that this was the most he could expect. He was not to bite the hand that fed him, but the youth was being reminded that he was less than a mere pet. He was like a cracked paperweight that had long lost it's shine. If he didn't perform his 'jobs' dutifully, he would be cast into oblivion and replaced without a second thought.

If not for the unfortunate circumstances, Jaar might have done something to fight back, to let them know that he was worth more as a person. As it stood, he was a prisoner of a war his planet had long lost. Earth had, as they always do, come in the name of peace. However, they left the planet in ruin and with a young slave in tow.

He was not one to dwell on his past, and for good reason. Sadly, it had it's way of rising to the surface at the most inopportune times. His thoughts made him wonder if there was more beyond his little dungeon. He didn't even know where the servants and his Master came from, the stairs were too high to see. All he could ever make out was some odd sound (music?) coming from some place out of sight, announcing the arrival of the Master or one of his employees.

And when he dreamed, sleeping atop his bed of hard metal, straw and burlap, he dreamed of another world outside his own. A place where there were people who would want him in their employ, not chained down on a hard floor, groveling at the feet of someone else.

The dreams were only dreams, but they gave him the hope he needed to survive.
Reply
#4
I had help, this should be better!




Name: Ja'ar

Age: 14

Race: Generic

Sex: Male

Starting Planet:

Profession: Unemployed

Fighting Style: Dirty

Short Bio: A nondescript warrior who aligns wholly to neither the forces of good or evil, but who stands fast to a code of honor he keeps to himself. Once a thing of legend, he now refuses to take the spotlight, preferring instead to be nothing more than a mere stepping stone to others and their achieving of greatness.

General Description:

Starting Abilities: Magnetism Manipulation, Cyberpathy

Trait: Pack Mentality

Stats: (all must be a combined total of 100%, with the exception of choosing Inner Strength as an Ability, which gives you an extra 15%)

* Strength - 10%
* Focus - 60%
* Endurance - 10%
* Agility - 20%


Role-play Sample:

Oh, but it had been mere words back and forth after he'd been released from the chains that bound him by his throat to a collar attached to a dungeon floor. He had long stopped caring whether or not it was seen as disrespectful. Those few times he had to relieve and bathe himself, he was more than thankful for. It wasn't that his Master was a cruel one, as far as Ja'ar could tell, but the sooner he stopped being such a smart aleck and began actually taking the time to know his captive, the better it would be for all.

Before his Master left that evening, he forced Ja'ar to perform a little demonstration where the Master's foot was placed firmly in Ja'ar's mouth while a metal apparatus kept the young slave from closing his teeth down around it: symbolic of the fact that he was the property of someone else, had been so since he was 3, but that this was the most he could expect. He was not to bite the hand that fed him, but the youth was being reminded that he was less than a mere pet. He was like a cracked paperweight that had long lost it's shine. If he didn't perform his 'jobs' dutifully, he would be cast into oblivion and replaced without a second thought.

If not for the unfortunate circumstances, Jaar might have done something to fight back, to let them know that he was worth more as a person. As it stood, he was a prisoner of a war his planet had long lost. Earth had, as they always do, come in the name of peace. However, they left the planet in ruin and with a young slave in tow.

He was not one to dwell on his past, and for good reason. Sadly, it had it's way of rising to the surface at the most inopportune times. His thoughts made him wonder if there was more beyond his little dungeon. He didn't even know where the servants and his Master came from, the stairs were too high to see. All he could ever make out was some odd sound (music?) coming from some place out of sight, announcing the arrival of the Master or one of his employees.

And when he dreamed, sleeping atop his bed of hard metal, straw and burlap, he dreamed of another world outside his own. A place where there were people who would want him in their employ, not chained down on a hard floor, groveling at the feet of someone else.

The dreams were only dreams, but they gave him the hope he needed to survive.
Reply
#5
Okay, the thing is, this is a writing forum. Can you write at least 300 words that are coherent and literate on your own? You can't have someone else write for you.

Also, you need to provide:

Starting Planet:
General Description:
Starting Abilities: (The two you picked aren't on our list, please look here: http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showpost.ph...ostcount=2)
[Image: VictoriaJuly.jpg]
[Image: ManSoldWorld.png]
Reply
#6
Starting Planet: Default
General Description: Six foot even, muscular build, long red dreadlocks and limegreen eyes.
Starting Abilities: Regeneration, Elasticity
Reply
#7
You'll want to work on you writing skills, alright? I'll put you on Earth, there's no default planet, but that's where most people go.

Everything looks to be in order. I'll activate your account, setup your training page, and form your roster.

Welcome to Chubbs! If you have any questions feel free to post them here or PM me or any one of the staff members. There is also a questions forum located beneath the Legendary Asylum, here.
[Image: VictoriaJuly.jpg]
[Image: ManSoldWorld.png]
Reply
#8
Thank you for your attentiveness! Smile
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)