[04] Cook For The King!

[Kill Town]

Cook For the King!

Description: Two players are teleported to a large kitchen in the castle of a King, where they will both have to create an exquisite meal for the King’s birthday. Players will be given whatever materials and food necessary for such an event, and they are allowed to make whatever they want as long as it pleases the King. If the King is displeased, the players will be killed right then and there. If the King is pleased, they get to not die. Pretty good deal, if you ask me.

Hint: I doubt you guys need much direction. Have at it.

Participants: Kaden, Piper

[Kaden]

The shrill, piercing beeps of Kaden’s PAGER tore away the veil of sleep that had fallen over him. With lethargy weighting heavily upon his hands, he grabbed at the device and lifted it into view. His eyes, still heavy with remnants of much-needed sleep, watched as a message began scrolling across the device’s small display. It took several moments for the parade of letters to gain meaning inside the courier’s mind.

“Event time,” he announced to his vacant surroundings.

On the walkway in front of him, Kaden watched as space was rent, giving way to a portal of swirling blue energies. As he surveyed the unusual means of transportation, he couldn’t help but wonder whether such a feat – splitting open a hole in space to allow transportation – would be possible in the real world, where laws were not subject to the whims of a maniacal teenager.

After a long, loud, intentionally drawn-out yawn, the courier hefted himself onto his feet. The few steps between himself and his portal were taken slowly. Having no idea what potential horrors lay in wait for him in his event, Kaden decided that going in half-asleep would be nothing but detrimental to his chances at survival. Once ready, he threw himself into Gamer’s next event.

On the other side of the portal, Kaden winced against the bright, beating rays of the sun, resting high above him. Turning his head, the courier first took note of his surroundings. He stood in the middle of a thin, winding dirt road, the deep wheel-ruts informing its regular use. Directly before him rose the walls of a massive castle, the likes of which Kaden had only ever seen in story books and cartoons.

To either side of the road, large, sprawling fields of wild grass spread out as far as the eye could see. Whether by design or by coincidence, there was nothing visible upon the horizon, in any direction, other than the odd tree. Turning around, Kaden confirmed that was true no matter where he looked. The only thing waiting for him was the castle. Grabbing the pager from his waist, the courier scanned what little information he had been given for a second time.

“Cook for the King,” he read to himself. “Go to the kitchen, cook some food. Blah blah blah… if he likes it, I get to live. Wonderful.”

It was about what he had come to expect from Gamer. The events themselves didn’t seem to follow any real rhyme or reason, their objectives never the same as last time, but each contestant was compelled to finish them upon threat of apparent death. Worry began to flit through Kaden’s thoughts as he considered past events. Since their time on the sinking Titanic, the courier had not seen Sage once. The same could be said of the young girl driving the go-kart in his most recent event. While he had, admittedly, not been actively searching for their girl, he didn’t like the way that added up.

With the heat beating down upon him, the courier slipped out of his jacket, slinging it over his shoulders. Letting his feet fall between the ruts in the small dirt road, the courier let them guide him towards the castle, stopping only long enough to occasionally wipe the sweat-soaked bangs from his eyes.

With nothing else to think about on his short journey to the castle, the courier turned his thoughts to the objective of his event. Cooking had never really been his strongest suit, though he liked to think he wasn’t awful at it. Having spent the entirety of his “adult” life living on his own, he had been forced to learn to feed himself fairly quickly. Cooking for himself, after all, was much cheaper than eating out. What he would cook for a king who lived in a castle, though, he had no idea. He eventually came to the conclusion that he would have to wait to see what was in the kitchen before determining a plan of attack, so to speak.

Upon reaching, what he thought were, the gates to the castle, Kaden found himself at a loss. The doors looked to be twenty feet tall, and made of solid wood and plenty of metal. When he realized that blowing down the obstruction was the first thing that came to mind, he couldn’t help but laugh. With a shake of his head, he reached out a hand a did what most people did at someone’s door: he knocked.

“Who goes there?” came an immediate response.

“What?” the courier asked, looking up at the source of the voice. “Oh. Hey. Didn’t see you guys up there.”

Standing atop the ramparts, two guards peered down at the lone traveler. The two of them exchanged quick glances and quicker words before turning their attention back to the stranger standing before their gates.

“You seek to trespass?” asked Guard Number One.

“I… guess so?” Kaden’s eyes looked from one guard to the other. “I’m supposed to… cook. For a king.”

“A king,” Number Two chimed in. “Our Lord, appointed by High Priest Shaft himself, rules the whole of the land. We should flay you alive for such an insult.”

“Go ahead and try,” came the courier’s reply. Despite his words, there was no aggression in his voice. He doubted it would be necessary. “See how he feels about you killing his hand-picked cook.”

Both guards physically balked at the idea. Once again turning their attention from Kaden, they conversed for a second before suddenly vanishing from sight. Not entirely sure what to make of their change in behavior, Kaden wiped his brow once more and fanned himself as best he could with the collar of his t-shirt. After what felt like an hour, the massive castle doors opened wide enough for both guards to step through.

Watching their slow approach, Kaden’s eyes moved from their large shirts of chain mail, which rattled softly with each step they took, to the lengthy spears held in their hands, the razor-sharp points glistening in the sun. How they could stand to wear metal beneath the blistering sun was beyond Kaden.

“Release the garb,” one of the guards said, pointing to the jacket slung over Kaden’s shoulder. “And raise your arms.”

Not wanting to dirty his digital jacket, the courier laid it on the ground as gently as he could, then straightened himself and raised his arms to the sky. Both guards continued to step forward, but one of them leveled their spear at Kaden while the other moved to inspect his jacket.

“Look!” said the jacket-inspecting soldier. “It is as the High Priest predicted.”

Kaden winced as he saw the soldier snag his jacket with the tip of a spear and hold it aloft for his partner to see. Both of them seemed to stare in awe at the winged star emblazoned upon the jacket. They conversed with each other for a third time, in whispers that fell just short of the courier’s ears. Finally, they nodded to each other and returned the jacket to its owner.

“We apologize for the delay. You are expected.”

“S’all good,” Kaden shrugged it off and threw his jacket back over his shoulder. “Happens all the time.”

“If you’ll follow us, we’ll escort you to the castle proper.”

“Lead the way.”

Stepping through the massive doors, Kaden’s eyes were met with a surprisingly large town, nestled safely within the walls of the castle. To the courier’s immediate left or right were fields that had obviously been planted after the construction of the castle-town. What was in the field, though, disturbed him greatly.

Tending to whatever crops the fields bore were countless men and women, each of them barely clothed in what Kaden could only call a loincloth. Their bodies appeared weak, their movements so shaky that it was only thanks to the endless repetition that they were able to get anything done. As they turned their backs to him, Kaden could see any number of gruesome scars cut into their skin, what skin there was to be scared. Along with looking weak, they all appeared to be malnourished.

The sight profoundly angered the blonde. As with the events that took place on the Titanic, the idea that any of those slaves could have been a real person was all that filled his head. Whether or not they were real, the travesty that was being committed before his crimson eyes stood glaring in face of the sanctity of life that he believed in. Most of those people would have probably welcomed death, if only to escape their enslavement.

His thoughts continued to stew on those forced to work the fields of the castle-town, Kaden barely realized when they reached the castle itself. Stepping into the torchlit hall, the courier tried to alleviate his frustrations by turning his attention to something else.

“Who was that Shaft guy? You mentioned him a couple times before,” the courier asked the nearest guard.

“High Priest Shaft is the spiritual advisor to His Highness and, as such, everyone within the kingdom. Only the King is more respected than His Holiness. He often predicts great events, such as your coming.”

“A cook arriving is what passes for a ‘great event’ around here, huh?”

“We have arrived,” the other guard announced.

Taking several steps away from Kaden, the guards indicated a door. Unlike most of the doors they had passed throughout the castle, the one the guards nodded towards was incredibly elaborate, torch light dancing off of the intricate gold inlays. Shrugging, Kaden pushed the door open and stepped through into the throne room.

The design of the door could have barely been called a precursor to the elegance of the King’s throne room. Carpets, columns, wall hangings, even the torches all seemed to glitter with gold or jewels. The entire room bathed the courier in a warm, almost ethereal light. While it wasn’t a particularly large room, it was appropriately regal.

The king himself was perched upon his throne, leaning to the side and propping his head upon his hand. If Kaden didn’t know better, he’d say the king actually looked bored. He appeared to be a fairly tall man, and the long white hair that flowed just past his shoulders gave him an air of maturity and wisdom that Kaden had never seen before. The ruler casually sipped from a glass of wine in his free hand, barely acknowledging the man that had stepped into his presence. Before Kaden could speak, though, the door behind him burst open.

Charging through the door came a man wearing a deep blue tunic, white pants, and wielding, of all things, a long leather whip. Whipping locks of dark brown hair dramatically from his eyes, the newcomer had his attention fixed squarely on the king. It wasn’t hard to guess what he wanted.

“Die monster!” the man bellowed. “You don’t belong in this world!”

“It was not by my hand I was given flesh,” the king retorted. Kaden couldn’t help but wonder if the king was aware that he was simply part of Gamer’s world. “I was made king by humans who wish to pay me tribute.”

“Tribute!?!” the whip-wielder seemed thoroughly enraged at the idea. “You steal men’s lives, and make them your slaves!”

“Perhaps,” the ruler seemed to be thinking aloud. “The same could be said of all rulers.”

“Your words are as empty as your heart! Mankind ill needs a ruler such as you!”

“Man?!” the king scoffed. “What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk...”

Standing from his throne, the king hurled his glass of wine at the newcomer’s feet. Readying his whip, the brown-haired, would-be assassin physically tensed his body. It was clear to everyone what was about to happen, and that definitely did not sit well with the courier.

Taking a step towards the brunette, Kaden thrust both hands forward, putting his weight needlessly into the motion. Shocked by the courier’s sudden movements – Kaden wondered if the man had even been aware of his presence – there was no time to react. His eyes only widened in shock, their pupils reflecting the flash of light that illuminated the throne room. For a brief instant, the warm, inviting glow of the king’s throne was washed away by the harsh, aggressive luminescence of the courier’s ki. When it faded, the strange man had been thrown through a rather large column within the king’s throne room.

As rocks crumbled about the man, Kaden’s face betrayed the act in a display of shame. That someone would enslave other people so willingly, and dismiss it with such a flimsy excuse, was truly deplorable. Sadly, if there were no king to cook for, passing Gamer’s event seemed much less likely. Turning his eyes from the smoldering body of the unconscious attacker, Kaden watched as the king looked him slowly up and down.

“Sorry about the pillar there,” Kaden started.

“I concern myself not with material possessions,” the king casually replied. “It is not by my design that such garish trinkets litter my castle. You’ve yet to be introduced.”

“Ah. Right. I’m, uh, here to cook for you, actually.”

[Piper Juunanagou]

For the last several minutes, the soldier had bean wandering around the hotel and causing various pieces of the carefully planned architecture to explode into fiery clumps. In front of the woman, there were the remains of a marble statue whose head she had ripped off and punted through a nearby window. With a chuckle, Piper lifted a hand and blasted the headless figure apart with a burst of energy, causing its chest to erupt into dust and its limbs to be strewn about haphazardly.

I like this look. The woman mused as she glanced down at what remained of the statue—a pair of charred, mangled feet attached to the display podium. If I was more of an average person, I think I should totally go into interior design. She added as a grin spread across her light-skinned visage. But, eh, c’est la vie…

Carrying on with whatever business she had convinced herself she was attending to, Piper meandering down the back hallway until she came to a large set of double doors. Reaching forward, she clasped a hand around one of the ornate handles and gave it a few firm pushes only to find that it refused to yield. Lifting her gauntlet-clad fist, the woman clenched and unclenched her fingers a couple of times as a small sphere of energy crackled to life in front of her open hand. Once the sparkling orb was large enough, the woman shoved her hand forward and propelled it the rather short distance to the door.

With yet a further vibrant explosion, another part of the hotel exploded into far too many pieces to count. As Piper stepped across the threshold and into the posterior half of the lobby, she caught a fleeting glimpse of a sign on the other side of the door that read ‘Hallway Access – Push.’

“Ahhhh,” the woman remarked as she replayed the scenario in her head. “I guess I should have tried that,” she added apathetically as she traversed the large lobby. As she approached the front of the building, she noticed two individuals lounging on some of the luxury couches in a small sitting area near the entrance. The closer that Piper drew to the couches, the more she was able to convince herself that she hadn’t run into more programs or robots. Although the young woman was a stranger to her, the soldier recognized the black-haired youth from the insurrection in Central City several months ago.

“This is nice,” the young half-saiyan quipped to his companion as he continued to remain oblivious to the approaching woman.

“I’m sure you’re quite comfortable,” Piper remarked, prompting the youth to straighten up in his seat and shift around to face her. On the other couch, the girl snore softly—completely oblivious to the world around her.

“Well hello, Piper,” he replied after a slight pause. With a quick gesture to the open space on the couch next to him, he got comfortable again. Although she didn’t quite feel up to chumming up with someone on a couch, Piper shunted her anxiety to the back of her mind and sat down next to the black-haired youth and shot a quick glance at the youth’s sleeping companion. “Let’s just leave him be for the time being.”

Him? Piper thought as she furrowed her brow. After a few beats, she figured it was probably just something related to the carnival and Gamer’s sick fantasies.

“Sounds like an idea,” the soldier said with a shrug as she lifted her feet up and placed them on the expensive-looking coffee table that occupied most of the space between their couch and the other girl’s. “It’s Juno… right?” Piper asked as she began to recall the identity of her newfound company.

“That’s me,” the young man said with a smirk. “Weren’t you a redhead?” He inquired as Piper felt her page vibrate against her hip.

“Bingo,” the soldier responded nonchalantly as she awkwardly fished down between her body and the cushion in an attempt to reach the pager.

“Why the change?” Juno inquired as he diverted his attention to his own page.

“…Blondes have more fun?” Piper said with a shrug as she read out loud the words on the tiny screen. “Your event is active. Enjoy!”

“Really?” Juno groaned as the ground beneath the couch was inhaled by a pair of quickly expanding portals.

Before Piper could issue her own complaint, the sofa tore in half between the pair of contestants, and they were both shunted off to their respective contests. Gripping onto the arm of the couch and the side of her cushion, the soldier closed her eyes and squeezed the squishy material as she freefell through the swirling nexus. Fortunately for the woman, the plunge was rather quick and its terminus was a giant bale of hay that was kind enough to soften the impact.

Yea, because the grease wasn’t a pleasant enough scent. The woman thought angrily as she vaulted off the sofa and down onto the ground next to the bale of hay. Now I get to smell like a farm. She complained internally as she noted the numerous livestock and horses that were stabled within the oversized barn. Reaching for her pager, the woman gave its tiny screen a quick scan and noted that she was supposed to cook for some royalty.

“What the hell is this guy? The harvest king?” The woman shouted, her voice prompting some of the animals to grunt and fidget inside their cramped living quarters. “Oh, you know that was funny!” Piper groaned as she glanced down at her clothes and noticed that she was dressed in a yellow apron that covered most of her body, save for the lower half of her legs, her arms, and the area around her collar. Lifting a hand up to her neck, Piper gave the white collared shirt she’d be transplanted into a quick tug before moving up to her head to find out she’d be clad in a bandana of some sort.

“Well it’s better than a helmet or a damn neckerchief,” the woman remarked as she brushed off one of her long sleeves. In the process, she noted that she still had the gauntlet from the alien simulation on her right arm. “I guess some things don’t change,” she concluded as she walked over to the large double doors of the barn and proceeded to push them outward. As the dramatically oversized doors swung apart, the formerly dank and slightly musty barn was flooding with warm, uplifting sunlight.

A smile spread across Piper’s face as she lifted her arms to embrace the warmth, and even though she knew in the back of her mind that she actually wasn’t feeling anything, the sunlight was a welcome change from most of the drab atmosphere’s that she’d been thrown into in the past several hours. If she managed to escape from Kill Town with her life intact, Piper was certain she would have newfound respect for beaches and parks.

Still grinning from ear to ear, the soldier began to walk casually down the dirt pathway that led from the barn. About a half-mile away, she noted the massive castle that probably contained the king for which she was supposed to cook. With a groan, Piper began to jog toward the castle—her eyes focused on a small door guarded by a pair of medieval soldiers with pikes.

As she jogged down the path, the woman passed a few small farms that all seemed to be worked by young men in blue overalls, red bandanas around their necks, and backwards-facing, blue baseball caps. The further down the path she jogged, the more Piper realized that all the farmers shared not only identical outfits, but they were also completely identical in terms of their physical appearances: brown eyes and brown hair. Furthermore, they all seemed to be accompanied by small, brown dogs that were also identical—all the way down the white patches on their snots.

This is unsettling… The woman thought to herself as she decided to stop analyzing all the identical farms and focus herself back on the castle. As she came closer to the two guards, they both turned to face her and promptly angled their weapons so they crisscrossed over the doorway.

“Halt,” the guards barked in unison, prompting Piper to come to an abrupt stop a few yards away from the door. “What is your business here?” They inquired; their voices still completely in sync as they glared at the strange woman.

“You can’t tell?” Piper scoffed as she gestured toward herself with her thumbs. “I’m the cook,” she added with overplayed dramatics as the two guards turned to look at one another. After a moment of contemplation, they turned back to face her—their countenance still stern and unwelcoming.

“So you’re Miss Mama?” They asked in tandem.

“Well, duh,” the soldier lied as she rolled her eyes and planted her hands on her hips. “I didn’t come all this way to be harassed by some doormen,” she glared as the two guards once again glanced at one another. When they turned to face her this time, their expressions were laced with fear.

“We’re sorry, Ma’am. We’re just doing out job guarding the kitchen from vagrants and people trying to smuggle in contraband,” they grumbled as they moved their pikes out of the way.

“Just be lucky I’m a nice person,” Piper shot back as she moved forward and made her way through the thick, reinforced door. As the door swung shut behind the woman, she casually made her way passed several crates and barrels of ingredients before arriving at a wooden door labeled ‘kitchen.’

I wonder if this is where I’m supposed to go? With a stupid grin on her face, Piper closed her gauntleted hand around the door handle and proceeded to throw open the door. Stepping through the doorway, the soldier found herself gawking at the castle’s enormous kitchen. The room—easily the size of a small house—was lined with more anachronistic appliances and cooking implements than Piper could count. The walls were hidden beneath countertops and cabinets, and in some cases, the shelves were full to the absolute limit. Looking up at the ceiling, the woman’s jaw almost fell open the moment she saw that there was actually a second floor to the kitchen, which housed even more appliances.

“This is ridiculous,” the blonde spoke, her voice echoing throughout the cavernous room as she walked over to a large island in the center of the tiled mega-kitchen. If it wasn’t for the fact that she’d been doing a lot more cooking in her time as an office worker, the soldier was certain she’d be having seizure right now as her brain tried to process the insanity that was the overstocked, super-advanced kitchen housed within a medieval castle.

“Vous êtes, Madamoiselle Mama?” The strange, incoherent words served to ground the woman back in reality. Glancing toward the other side of the room, the woman noticed that there was a man dressed in a full on chef’s uniform strutting toward her. The sleazy-looking chef was holding a clipboard in one hand and playing with his mustache with the other. “Vous êtes en retard!”

“Did you just call me a retard?” Piper gasped as she scooped a cleaver off the nearby island and prepared to tackle the chef.

“Oh…I see,” the man scoffed in the same language as Piper as he held his hands up in a show of amity. “I was expecting someone with your credentials to be a little more sophisticated,” he added before rolling his eyes and setting his clipboard down on the central island.

“Who are you?” Piper demanded.

“I am Jean-Claude Richard,” the man replied in his haughty, pompous accent. “I am here to…assist you and other appointed chef,” he added begrudgingly as he turned to look at the door that he’d entered the kitchen through a few moments earlier. “He should be here soon. I believe he had a short meeting with the king or something.”

[Kaden]

“I believe he had a short meeting with the king or something,” were the first words Kaden heard upon stepping through the kitchen door.

“Or something,” he chimed in. “Hope I didn’t keep you… waiting… Piper?!”

It took the courier several moments to recognize the other chef in their event. As he scanned the woman up and down, the only thing that really tipped him off was the gleaming metallic gauntlet sheathing her hand. It was all Kaden could do to keep from laughing. As the woman confirmed her identity, he took a moment to compose himself.

“I gotta say, that look suits you,” Kaden waved a hand at her bright orange apron. “It’s very… domesticated.”

If the look that flashed across Piper’s face were any indication, Kaden found himself very thankful that there were no sharp instruments within arm’s reach. In truth, though, he was quite interested in seeing the soldier in a different light. Though an apron was usually about as flattering as fatigues, it was a nice change of pace. From Kaden’s perspective, at least.

“So… I guess we start cooking now?” Kaden cast a glance around the kitchen, taking his eyes off of Piper for the first time since he had realized who she was. “Oh yeah,” he gave a quick nod to the other chef in the room. “Who are you?”

“I am Jean-Claude. I am here to assist in whatever way I can.”

“Excellent. Look forward to working with you, Jon.” Kaden smiled at the man and extended an open hand.

“It’s Jean,” the chef repeated.

“Uhhh…” Kaden looked to Piper. “How is that not what I said?”

“Can we move on to the actual cooking?” the woman replied.

“Just itching to put that apron to use, huh?” Kaden teased.

Before another word could be said, a fourth figure entered the overly-elaborate kitchen. Upon hearing the door open, both Kaden and Piper turned their attention to the newcomer. Jean-Claude cast a quick glance in the same direction, but he had obviously been expecting the arrival. The woman who entered the kitchen stood at about Piper’s height, but the similarities between the two women ended there. Her skin was fairly dark, obviously not a tan, and the rippling locks of her hair were an incredibly dark brown. Her deep, chocolate eyes flashed from one person to the next, accompanied with a practiced smile.

“Good morning, Chefs,” she greeted everyone. “I’m Padma.”

“Good morning, Padma,” Kaden and Piper returned her greeting unison.

“I’m sure you’re both eager to begin cooking, but before that we have a special treat for you. You’ll both be competing against the clock in our first-ever co-operative Quickfire Challenge!” Padma looked from one contestant to the other, obviously expecting some kind of reaction.

“Ok,” Piper spoke up after several seconds. “I give. What the hell’s a ‘Quickfire Challenge’?”

“I’m with the housewife,” Kaden hooked a thumb at his comrade. “No clue what you’re talking about.”

“In this Quickfire Challenge,” Padma continued, unfazed by the chef’s complete lack of knowledge. “Our cheftestants will be thrown together to make it through the toughest test of their culinary skills.”

“I don’t like where this is going,” Piper sighed.

“Waiting for us, downstairs, are the catacombs, filled with some of the fiercest beasts we’ve known to man. In only sixty minutes, these two chefs will have to hunt down and defeat any number of them. And…”

“Wait for it…”

“More importantly,” their hostess continued, “whatever they slay during this Quickfire Challenge will have to be featured as a main ingredient of their regal recipes.”

“Thank you and good night,” the soldier shook her head.

“Did she call us ‘cheftestants’?” Kaden whispered out of the side of his mouth.

“If you’ll follow Chef Jean-Claude, he’ll escort you to the catacombs.”

With the same smile plastered across her face, Padma looked on as Kaden and Piper were escorted out of the kitchen. Unlike the posh interior that the courier had seen upon his arrival, Jean-Claude’s route took them through an area of the castle that was far less impressive. Three sets of footfalls reverberated through the stone passageways.

“So,” Piper turned her head to Kaden, who was walking beside her. “You seem to be in a better mood.”

“You know how it is,” Kaden smiled at the woman. “A couple heartfelt revelations, a little property destruction, a quick nap… It does wonders.”

“Glad to hear it. I actually like the sound of this Quickfire thing. Should be a great way to work off some stress.”

“Ha ha ha. No argument here.” As they continued on their path, the courier reached out and rapped his knuckles against the walls. “Hey… what do you think would happen if we just, like, blew up the event?”

“I imagine Gamer would just love that.”

“Seriously, though. Instead of cooking for the king, we just blow his head off.”

Both the soldier and the courier exchanged glances. Neither one of them would have expected such a statement to have come from the blonde-haired idealist. Even to him it sounded like a strange proposition. Conceptually, it sounded like something he would do – bludgeon through a problem with brute force and damn the consequences to himself – but the details were not very Kaden-like.

“I’d think we’d lose the event,” Piper supposed.

“Or maybe we’d both win. Gamer doesn’t strike me as the type to punish people for random acts of excessive violence.”

“You have a point,” the medic mused.

“Any guesses on what they’ll have waiting for us?”

“Does it matter?” Piper shot the courier a confident smile. “I can’t think of anything the two of us couldn’t handle.”

“Well, I certainly have been known to blow things up. And you, well there’s no one better at… uh… what is it you do?”

“Kick ass,” the woman replied, punching her partner lightly on the arm.

“Want to bet we run into a giant fire-breathing dragon?”

“Bet what?” the solider asked, her interest piqued.

“Loser buys the winner a drink.” Before the woman could point out the silliness of betting on who buys a fake drink with fake money in the fake carnival that was waiting for them, the courier continued. “And I mean a real drink. In the real world.”

“Alright. You’re on.” Piper extended her hand.

“Ha!” Kaden grabbed her hand and gave it a quick shake. “C’mon, girl. A huge castle, serfs working the field, high priests advising overly dramatic kings. Fire-breathing dragon’s a given.”

“We’ll see.”

Before more words could be exchanged, Jean-Claude cleared his throat and informed the cheftestants that they had arrived at the site of their challenge. The piercing creak of rusted metal echoed off the stone walls as he pulled open a large door and motioned for the two to enter. As Piper and Kaden stepped fully across the threshold of the catacombs, the door slammed shut behind them, the dull thud of the wood sounding ominously through the poorly-lit tunnels that spread out before them.

“Now,” Jean-Claude spoke through the door. “We’ll come to get you in one hour. Your Quickfire Challenge starts… now!”

As Jean-Claude finished, a menacing roar exploded from deep within the catacombs, signaling the beginning of their event. The very walls around the contestants seemed to quake in fear of whatever had produced such a menacing bellow. Kaden couldn’t help but feel a seed of dread plant itself in the back of his mind, but he had resolved to do his best not to let Piper notice. Surprisingly, the next thing either of them heard was a stranger’s voice.

“You there!”

Turning, Kaden and Piper saw a man chained to the walls of the catacombs, obviously left to let either nature or some unnamed beast claim him. He seemed elated to see another person, but when he locked eyes with the courier, his visage become one of neigh uncontrollable rage. Lunging forward as far as his shackles would allow, he spit several choice phrases in the courier’s directions.

“He was going to attack the king,” Kaden explained to Piper. “Instead I blasted him through some pillar and then the guards took him away.”

“That’s a pretty bad plan of attack,” the soldier commented.

As the brown-haired man continued to hurl curses at the man who had struck him down, Kaden made a slow approach. He couldn’t help but empathize with the man. He had simply been trying to do what he thought was right, and then some jackass got in the way. It was a very relatable scenario. When the man’s temper ebbed, the courier spoke.

“Look, I’m sorry about what happened earlier.” To emphasize his apology, Kaden pointed a finger at the iron shackles binding the man. They disintegrated in a flash of blue light. “Me and my friend here have to cook a meal to please the king. I couldn’t let you kill him before that happened.”

“Know you nothing of the man you call ‘king’?!” the brown haired man pulled himself to his feet. When it became obvious that neither of his rescuers knew what he was talking about, he elaborated. “He is no man, but a lost soul summoned from beyond the grave by the dark arts of the priest Shaft!”

“That High Priest you were talking about earlier?” Piper asked Kaden. The courier nodded.

“High Priest?!” the man spit upon the ground. “He defiles the prestige of such a title. No, Shaft is a the very embodiment of greed and lust. He thought to use the dark arts to bring forth and control none other than Dracula. That a mere mortal could control the powers of so dreaded a being is laughable. I had arrived at this castle to slay Dracula.”

“Smart move,” Kaden nodded. “Eliminate a powerful enemy and Shaft’s trump card in one shot... Knocking you out was kind of a dick move, huh?”

“My name is Richter Belmont. My family has been charged, for generations, with slaying Dracula. He has risen many times, a tribute to his demonic powers. Several years ago, I slew both Shaft and Dracula myself. When I heard of their return, I made haste to this castle. I could never have imagined that one as… unassuming as you could fell me in a single blow.”

“Again. Sorry.”

“I believe Shaft seeks not only to use Dracula’s power to control the land, but actually possess him and claim his powers for his own. I cannot describe the hellish horrors that would befall the land and its people were such a thing to happen.”

“Ok, well, now’s your chance,” Piper said. “Go do whatever it is you have to do while wonder-boy here is stuck gathering ingredients.”

“Alas, were it so simple, I would have already been on my way. Nay, I would stand no chance against Dracula’s magic without the legendary whip Vampire Killer. It has been passed down from Belmont to Belmont for generations. It is the only thing capable of defeating him, and he seized it when I was captured.”

“Of course he did,” Kaden sighed. “I guess I could try and help you get it back. Seems only fair.”

“So you’re going to leave the ingredient gathering to me?” Piper asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Pipes. First we’ll slay some monsters, grab some slabs of meat, and then I’ll… I don’t know. Go from there, I guess.”

“Sounds like a real solid plan you have there.”

“It’s better than nothing. Slightly.” Kaden turned from Piper to Richter. “You can either come with us or wait here. I don’t imagine it will be particularly safe either way.” As Richter nodded in acknowledgment, Kaden turned back to Piper. “Shall we get going?”

“Might as well,” Piper replied. “Clock’s ticking.”

[Piper Juunanagou]

“Why the hell are we down here?” Piper groaned as she came to a stop and waved her torch in front of her to remove a thick net of cobwebs. “For once, I think I’d rather be cooking in a kitchen,” she added as she glanced at the slime-stained stone walls that surrounded the trio.

It wasn’t the cramped corridors or even the foreboding sense of terror that was wigging the woman out. In fact, she actually enjoyed foreboding in most cases because it meant she wouldn’t have to do a whole lot of pointless work wandering around some strange, foreign environment. It was actually the terrible stench that saturated each and every square inch of their surroundings that was getting to her.

The catacombs beneath the castle smelled like moss and stale water. As Piper crept down one of the stone hallways, her footsteps echoing loudly down the seemingly endless maze of corridors, she couldn’t help but feel like zombies would be a less grotesque alternative to the rank, centuries-old odor. Behind the soldier, Kaden and the king’s prisoner were keeping an eye on the hallway from whence they had came to ensure that nothing tried to creep up on them in the rancid darkness.

“Did you say something?” The courier asked with a smirk as he glanced over his shoulder.

“Oh noooo,” Piper remarked dramatically as she looked back at her friend. “Don’t mind me… I’m just talking to myself,” with a laugh, Kaden opened his mouth to provide a witty retort just as the two cooks heard something scrap against the stone wall further down the pathway. Spinning on her heels, the soldier tossed the torch into her left hand and held out her gauntleted palm.

“What do you think that was?” Kaden asked as he squeezed in next to Piper and proceeded to effortlessly summon an orb of energy into the palm of his hand. If she didn’t already know that the courier was a master of manipulating his ki, his almost casual usage of it would have been a lot more emasculating for the woman.

“Hopefully it’s one of the monsters that we’re supposed to kill, because I’m started to get tired of cramped, cold, and nauseating,” she remarked as she noticed some tiny particles of rock flittering down from the ceiling like tiny gray snowflakes. “What the—”

Before the soldier was able to complete her sentence, the stone floor of the hallway collapsed and the two cooks and their political prisoner were sent plunging down into the black abyss of the catacombs. Fortunately for the trio, their freefall was quite short and after only couple yards the walls around them gave way as they fell into a large, more cavernous area. A few beats after dropping into their new surroundings, they all took a rather unwelcome plunge into a large lake of cold, partially frozen water.

Really? What jackass builds their catacombs on top of underground caves? Piper thought as she popped up to the surface of the water and set her sites on the nearby shore. With a glittering display, the woman was instantly on solid ground, but despite the fact that she didn’t have to swim to shore like Kaden and Richter, the damage had already been done. Groaning loudly, Piper ripped off the pink bandana and the yellow apron and discarded the pair of accessories with the utmost prejudice.

While the two men were busy still swimming to shore, the soldier took a moment to scan their surroundings. Unlike the smelly, uncomfortable catacombs, their little drop had deposited them near the center of a large cavern. The walls of their current location were dotted with a series of ornate metal sconces that served to illuminate the cave. On the far side of the room, Piper noted a single wooden door partially hidden behind a row of jagged stalagmites.

“Hey,” Kaden’s voiced prompted the soldier to spin around to face her friend. Despite their rather precarious and ominous situation, the courier had an almost boyish smirk on his face.

“What’s so funny?” Piper asked with a furrowed brow.

“Well you took off your apron,” Kaden replied with a chuckle.

“So?”

“I don’t think Gamer wanted you to do that,” the courier added as he pointed toward the woman’s chest. Looking down, she easily recalled the fact that her now waterlogged shirt was white, and upon further inspection, she realized that the outfit Gamer had transplanted her into was complemented with a nice, black brassier.

“You’ve got to be… ugh!” Piper screamed, unable to finish her sentence in a coherent manner before she simply crossed her arms over her chest and stormed off toward the exit.

“Oh, come on!” Kaden said before stifling another laugh. “I’m just playing around,” he added after composing himself. Rolling her eyes, Piper turned to face the man and noticed that his eyes were wide and his jaw seemed to be hanging open. Just a few paces behind Kaden, Richter was wearing a similar expression on his pale, weary face.

“W-what is it guys?”

Without offering a verbal response, the blond courier simply lifted a hand and pointed to something behind the woman’s field of view. Almost immediately, a frown beset Piper’s already haggard features as she slowly turned around to look at whatever it was that had so visibly mortified the two men. As the woman pivoted, all she could really see was a pair of large tree trunks that seemed to lack any bark.

How the hell are theses trees supposed to support themselves? The woman pondered as she leaned a little closer for a better inspection. Although I guess the more imperative question would be why they have hair and veins… Almost immediately, the horrifying reality dawned upon the soldier. With a gasp, she looked up to see that the pair of ‘tree trunks’ were really the legs of a giant, two-headed ogre.

“I guess that makes a lot more sense,” the woman whispered beneath her breath as the two-headed behemoth reached down and closed its stubby fingers around her lithe frame. A weak gasp escaped Piper’s mouth as the air was driven clean from her lungs. If she hadn’t teleported promptly after being picked off the ground, the woman was certain she would have been crushed into an unpleasant paste. Rematerializing next to Kaden and Richter, Piper proceeded to collapse to her knees and erratically attempt to refill her lungs.

“That’s not…a fire-breathing dragon,” the soldier gasped between breaths as she looked up a Kaden and flashed him a weary smile. The courier, despite the ogre that was now lumbering toward them, managed to make time to reciprocate the expression before turning to face the towering lummox. Shooting a quick glance at his surroundings, Kaden waved a hand through the air in front of him, which released a series of ki waves that did visibly little to stop the lumbering approach of the ogre.

“I think you’re just pissing it off,” Piper remarked as she regained a standing position. Although she had more on her mind, the woman was unable to start a new sentence before the trio was forced to split apart in lieu on the oncoming monster. Realizing that he was the least apt of the trio in terms of dealing with oversized monsters, Richter Belmont dove back into the lake. With a rather frazzled look on his face, Kaden took a few steps to the left before suddenly darting forward amidst a flash of blue energy. Crouching down, Piper teleported behind the ogre just as its oversize fists were boring down on her position.

Popping back into existence, the soldier lifted her gauntlet hand and began to channel her energy. Meanwhile, the ogre—now wholly enraged by its inability to smash its intended prey—began to smack at the surface of the water in an attempt to locate Richter. As Piper worked on mustering up her ki, an energized chord of some sort suddenly lashed forth and wrapped itself around one of the ogre’s ankles. With her eyes, the blonde followed the rope-like energy manifestation back to its origin to find that it was Kaden. The courier wore a grim expression on his face as he tugged at the rope in a seemingly futile attempt to trip up the beast.

“Little help here,” Kaden shouted as the ogre stopped beating at the water and turned its attention to the whip that was scalding its exposed skin.

Kindly obliging her companion, Piper leveled her hand with the back of the ogre’s head and blasted it with a rather erratic burst of light-green energy. Although nowhere as potent as anything the courier could muster, the mixture of being caught off-guard and having its balance somewhat compromised served to coalesce and prompt the ogre to lose said equilibrium. With a sly grin on his face, Kaden clutched the whip with both hands and gave it one final tug, and just like that, the pair watched the ogre take a dive into the lake. As the monster plunged into the depths of the underground lake, Richter popped back up to the surface and promptly scrambled onto solid ground.

Despite the twosome’s success over the ogre, they’re momentary joy was brought to an abrupt end when a giant hand erupted out of the lake. Digging its yellowed nails into the ground, the ogre began to pull itself up out of the water, much to the panic of the two chefs. Glancing around for any means to remedy their predicament, Piper’s eyes didn’t come to a rest until she noticed the massive collection of stalactites hanging from the ceiling around the spot where they had dropped into the cave.

“Kaden!” Piper shouted, complementing the remark with a gesture toward the ceiling. “Bring the roof down.”

Nodding his head, Kaden summoned up another salvo of energy waves that were aimed at the roof above the lake. As the ogre valiantly tried to pull its massive girth up out of the lake, the ceiling of the cavern (and undoubtedly a large portion of the castle’s catacombs) came crashing down on it. The indiscernible weight crushed the beast with enough force to rip its body away from the section of its arm that had escaped the lake.

“I think that’ll do,” Piper muttered as she watched the huge chunks of earth and stone slowly sink down into the underground lake.

“I guess that was overkill on my part,” Kaden said with a chuckle as Piper and he walked over to the dismembered ogre forearm. Shortly after their arrival next to the appendage, they were joined by Richter, who seemed less amused by the situation than the courier or the soldier.

“Hey,” Piper remarked as she bent down and picked up the forearm with both of her hands. Slinging the bloody appendage over her shoulder, the woman flashed a satisfied grin to her blond companion. “I think we have enough meat here to serve that douche upstairs on hell of a sandwich platter!”

“You were intending to make sandwiches for a king?” Kaden asked.

“That’s a joke,” Piper groaned as she walked passed the smirking courier and toward the only apparent exit to the large cavern. “Although I’m sure he would have just loved whatever delicious flavor of ramen noodles you were going to prepare for him,” she added with a smile.

“At least I don’t look ridiculous,” Kaden retorted as he jogged up to join the woman. When he reached her, he was welcomed with a rather unpleasant scowl from Piper. “That’s a joke,” he added sarcastically.

“You should be lucky you’re not ugly,” Piper replied with smirk as the twosome, with Richter trailing by a few paces, passed through the wooden door and into the caverns that lie ahead.

[Kaden]

“So I’ve been thinking,” Kaden called out to his partner-in-crime. His voice reverberated throughout the massive cavern they had entered.


“About anything useful?” came Piper’s reply as he leapt high into the air.

Through the space Piper had recently occupied, a high-pressure stream of water cut through the air. Her mighty leap carrying her to the ceiling of the cavern, Piper’s metal-clad hand dug into the side of the nearest stalactite. From her hanging perch, she took a moment of assess the situation she and Kaden had found themselves in.

The cavern she hovered above was not unlike the one they had plummeted into from the catacombs. A large body of water took up most of the space, though there appeared to be a useable path around either side. Aside from the entrance they had used, there was only one other opening that lead to the cavern and, of course, it lay on the other side of the water.

Normally, that wouldn’t have been a problem. Unfortunately, there was nothing normal about their circumstances. From within the water, countless forms began to claw their way onto the surface. The forms were largely humanoid in appearance, but their bodies were covered in scales. Fins sprouted from their backs and forearms, and webbing covered their flayed digits.

“Define useful,” Kaden yelled up to Piper.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Even from her perch high above, Kaden could tell she had rolled her eyes. “Ok, what were you thinking?”

“Well get this we—“

Before he could finish his thought, Kaden’s visage was washed in a bright blue hue as he summoned a barrier of energy. With a volatile hiss, a stream of water crashed against the curtain of ki. It was apparent that such an attack was the fish-people’s primary method of self-defense. Kaden was cautious to test to what extent they could internally pressurize fluids. Fortunately, a single stream seemed incapable of penetrating his defense. Unfortunately, they had far more than a single aquatic attacker to deal with. They rose from the water in droves.

“We get this event to cook for a king, right?”

“With you so far,” Piper responded.

As she spoke, the soldier curled her body upward, planting her feet upon a stalactite in a noticeable display of flexibility. The muscles in her legs coiled as she gathered strength, then exploded outward as she propelled herself back towards the ground. Flipping forward, her legs tensed once more. In a cacophony of crunches and cracks, Piper drove her feet an unlucky merman.

“But then this guy shows up trying to assassinate him.” Kaden hooked a thumb at Richter, who was doing his best to stay out of the way. “See what I’m saying?”

“A little distracted here, Kaden. Not the best time for critical thinking.”

Ducking low, Piper narrowly avoided the sting of a webbed claw. As she ducked, the soldier pivoted on her heel and grove a gauntleted fist into the nearest knee she could find. With a sickening gurgle, a merman crumbled to the ground, his leg bent in a direction it was obviously not meant to.

“Ok, fine, I’ll slow it down for the rest of the class.” Kaden leaned out from behind his barrier to fire off a few bursts of energy. He slipped back behind the defensive screen just as Piper found the time to shoot him a glare. “Gamer says he made all of this and threw us into these events. We’re supposed to be performing for his entertainment, or whatever. So why would he send someone to kill the person we’re supposed to be cooking for?”

“I was sent by no one!” Richter objected. He was promptly ignored.

“That’s what you were thinking about?”

Piper hopped into the air, planting her feet against the face whatever hapless soul had been standing in front of her. Once again using her legs to propel her, she shot backwards towards Kaden and incapacitated another attack at the same time. Quite the multitasker.

Kaden had to commend the woman’s awareness. As she catapulted away from the mermen, they swarmed on her location. Within seconds, she would have been overrun by their sheer numbers, a thought Kaden didn’t spend too much time on. With her no longer among their number, the courier would be able to do his thing with much less restraint.

“Not quite,” Kaden began to clarify as he watched Piper land a couple feet away. “I was thinking about what that could mean. I figure there are two possibilities. It could be some kind of… I dunno… side quest for the event; like we’d get some kind of bonus for completing it or maybe some extra monies.”

“And the other possibility?” Piper asked as she dusted herself off. To her relief, her shirt had largely dried.

“Gamer doesn’t have as much control over the world as he’d like us to think.”

There were definitely other thoughts running through the courier’s head, but he had vocalized the main ones. What he needed to focus on was getting through the quickly amassing horde of monstrous mermen shambling towards them. That they seemed awkward and uncomfortable on land was something all three humans were thankful for.

Dismissing his barrier with a flick of his wrist, Kaden was almost immediately overcome by jet streams of water. Swearing at himself for not anticipating such an obvious reaction to lowering his defenses, the courier Dashed away from both the blasts of water and Piper, not wanting to draw fire towards her. Skidding to a halt several yards away from his allies, Kaden’s eyes flashed with light as he activated his second Sight.

As many of the mermen turned to follow Kaden’s movements, the courier’s glowing eyes darted about the ground, searching hurriedly for the thing wisps of energy that flowed through the land beneath his feet. A brief flash of triumph flashed across his face as his locked onto a flow of energy. Dropping to one knee, the courier slammed his open palm against the ground.

Surging outward from his hand, Kaden watched as a burst of energy traveled through the ground, slipping beneath the feet of the countless mermen before Erupting from the ground. While the blast didn’t exactly send mermen flying in every direction, the group, as a whole, was disoriented enough to allow the courier and his companion some breathing room.

“Let’s get the hell out of here!” he called to his allies. Fortunately, they were one step ahead of him.

Grabbing Richter around the waist, the would-be vampire slayer stammered in protest as Piper soared through the air, planting herself beside Kaden once again. Setting down her extra baggage, Piper motioned for the others to follow her as she took off towards the exit at the other end of the cavern. As they raced towards their goal, however, piercing blasts of water shot past them.

Being both the slowest of the three, and the most prone to self sacrifice, Kaden ended up at the rear of the small party. His retreat, however, was cut short. With a cry of pain, the courier stumbled and flopped to the ground, several stalagmites digging at him as he tumbled awkwardly. Piper and Richter came to a halt upon hearing his scream.

Instinctively, Kaden reached down to his leg. Blood flowed freely from a sizeable hole that had been punched through his calf by an errant jet of water. He tried in vain to scramble to his feet, but all the accomplished was forcing another scream of pain from his mouth. As he flopped back to the ground, the courier rolled onto his back to face the oncoming mermen. Raising a blood-soaked hand, he fired off a blast of energy, but pain clouded his mind, making his aim and focus unsteady at best.

Before he realized what was happening, Piper had returned to Kaden’s side and lifted from the ground. Leaning his weight against her, the courier hobbled alongside the soldier as quickly as his injury would allow. Unfortunately, that wasn’t particularly quick. The path behind them, skirting along the edges of the lake, was quickly filling with mermen, all of whom seemed intent on punishing anyone foolish enough to come near their underground lake-cavern-thingie.

Trying to quicken his pace, Kaden’s foot caught a rock, pulling both him and Piper to the ground. Both blondes swore, though one more out of pain than anything else. As he tried to get to his feet, Kaden heard the soft clack of something falling from his jacket pocket. Looking back, he saw and odd, red-and-white… ball. Following his gaze, Piper’s eyes lit up upon seeing the orb.

Without stopping to explain, Piper leapt towards the small device, throwing herself painfully on top of her wounded ally. As Kaden expressed just how he felt about such an action, the medic’s thumbs jammed upon the lone button on the ball’s surface. Miraculously, the ball double in size as Piper hurled onto the path behind them. To the amazement of everyone present, the opened and emitted a blinding flash of white light. As the light dimmed, a deafening bellow resounded throughout the cavern.

“SNOOOOOOOOOORLAAAAAAAAX!”

“What the fuck is that?!” Kaden yelled at Piper, his ears ringing. “And why the hell was it in my pocket?!”

“How should I know?” Piper half-answered. Though she could have elaborated, time wasn’t exactly on their side.

Behind the retreating trio, the massive monster Snoralx sat directly between the mermen and their prey. His incredibly bulk completely blocked off their path, and he didn’t sound particularly thrilled about the surprised gurgles and irritating blasts of water being sent his way. As Piper half-carried Kaden, he half-turned to watch the beast in action. Reaching down, Snorlax grabbed one of the comparatively minute mermen and slammed his head violently into its face.

“Holy shit! That thing just headbutt one of those… other things,” Kaden marveled to his teammates. “What a badass!”

“Yes yes,” Piper replied, obviously more concerned about getting the courier to safety. “He’s like a fat Chuck Norris. Now c’mon.”

With Richter, suddenly the least encumbered of their team, leading the way, and Snorlax guarding their rear, making it through the exit was not much of a problem. Once they were out of sight of the merman’s cavern, Piper stopped and lowered Kaden to the ground, inspecting his leg as she did.

“There’s a lot of bleeding,” she said more to herself than anyone else. “I can’t really see the wound, though. Take off your pants,” the medic instructed.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Kaden replied weakly. He found himself trying to fight off the light-headed effects of blood loss. “You can just, like, tear off the pant leg or something, right?”

Before Piper could ensure Kaden of her seriousness, Richter appeared by her side, pulling a knife from his boot. Quickly and carefully the man cut through the courier’s black jeans just below the knee. Quickly expressing thanks, the medic took the severed piece of pant leg and tore it into strips, fashioning a make-shift bandage to help stem her ally’s bleeding. With that done, the three took a moment to collect themselves.

“I got that ball-thing from a mystery capsule back at the Carnival,” Kaden answered the question in Piper’s eyes. “Had no idea what it was, though.”

“Well it’s a good thing you had it,” Piper replied. “Things could have gotten real ugly real fast. Did you pick up any of those… things?” she turned to ask Richter.

“I have performed the tasks set before me,” the hunter replied with a shallow bow. “I couldn’t refuse the request of a lady.”

“What do we have so far?” Kaden asked from his seat on the floor.

Clearing his throat, Richter pulled a bright orange sack from his shoulder. After dispatching the ogre, it had become quite clear that lugging around an entire arm while trying to fight off the countless horrors that lurked around them wasn’t going to work very well. At Piper’s suggestion, Richter had retrieved Piper’s discarded apron and used it to fashion a kind pack in which he was carrying an assortment of monster pieces. It was actually a very disgusting sight to see body parts spill from their container.

Picking through the lumps of flesh, the vampire hunter, who seemed quite knowledgeable on the monsters found in the castle’s depths, began naming their prizes. There was, of course, the ogre’s arm, the haunches of a Minotaur, flank of a griffin, headless body of a giant snake, bust of a medusa, and finally the head of a merman. Any of the pieces that had been too big to carry had been cut into more manageable pieces with quick bursts of Kaden’s ki. Though he was intelligent and able-bodies, Richter admitted his efficacy in combat was limited without the Vampire Killer whip so the task of gruesome task of collecting and carrying dismembered body parts fell to him.

“I would like to ask a favor,” Richter began as he reassembled the sack of ingredients. “Though I know I am in no position to demand anything, with your assistance I could rid this land the blight upon it and free the enslaved from their demonic master.”

“Get the whip. Kill the king,” Kaden summarized.

“Precisely. The two of you are to serve the king himself. Under the guise of your aide, access to the throne would be mine, and the Vampire Killer within my reach. From there I can complete the task I failed at before.”

“What do you think?” Kaden asked Piper.

“Well,” the woman sighed. “I guess I could use a Sous Chef.”

“There you have it,” Kaden smiled at Richter, pained though it was. “The lady gets what the lady wants.”

“I am deeply indebted to the both of you.” Again Richter bowed.

Before anymore words could be spoken, though, both Piper and Kaden began to glow with an ethereal light. Though Richter was shocked by the sudden occurrence, neither chef was. Though his cell phone got no kind of reception, it had been useful at letting Piper and Kaden track how much of their sixty minutes remained. With their Quickfire Challenge over, they were being called back to their kitchen. Tossing the sack of monster parts to Kaden, Piper gripped Richter firmly by the arm. No sooner had she done that then the world around them vanished in a flash of light. When their sight returned, they were once again in the two-story kitchen, the lovely smile of Padma waiting to greet them.

“Looks like time’s up,” the hostess said as she looked from one chef to the other. “Time for the main event.”

[Kill Town]

“I suppose that this would be an awful time to tell you that I’m an equally awful cook,” Kaden ran a hand through his hair. “To make matters worse, all we have is…this to work with.”

“Yeah…” Piper looked upon the sack of monster parts with distain. “I’ve cooked once or twice in my life, but never with those kind of ingredients.”

“If I might…remind you two,” their false aide cleared his throat and spoke lowly, eyeing the hostess as he whispered. “You don’t actually have to cook anything decent. All I require of you is to get me close enough to the King to strike at him. And for that, I need to…”

“Get the whip, yeah,” Piper cut him off and turned back to the courier. “So Kaden, about this cooking thing…”

Richter merely sighed. His plan of redemption and revenge was obviously second on their priority list. Fortunately for the aide, watching their frequent attempts at producing edible food was humorous to say the least. For instance, Kaden attempted to speed up the cooking process by expending some of his ki, but the end result was a burnt monster rump and a few frayed hairs on the field medic. Piper, on the other hand, tried to spearhead the next attempt, but forgot to place the lid on the pot before she placed it in the oven.

In the end, both players came out of the experience with dirty faces and burnt clothing. However, they also came out with a finished product, a pasta-based dish that they had fashioned inside a white platter of some kind. The aide nodding upon viewing the dish, and smiled. “A fine meal.”

“Well, if it looks that way, it’s good enough for me,” Kaden shrugged.

Richter laughed. “What’s the dish called?”

The makeshift cooks exchanged glances. Piper scratched the back of her head. “Well…we found a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese in one of the cupboards, so we just went with that. The directions were pretty easy to follow.”

“And yet we managed to burn the first box to shit,” Kaden added.

“…yeah,” the blonde woman nodded, holding up a now-bloodied cloth sack. “So…we just took what was left of this little bag of goodies and mixed it in. It probably tastes like shit, but it should at least get us in.”

“Then let us waste no more time,” Richter nodded, motioning for the hostess to begin the proceedings.

They were all ushered into the throne room as if they were elephants being shoved into the Ark. The king, large and cumbersome, sat at a large table, pounding his spoon-wielding fist on the exterior, shouting profanities to accentuate his impatience. Kaden and Piper walked as though they were in a daze, the pace of events moving faster than they could keep track of. Without so much as a word, the king began chowing down on his platter, not even stopping to consider if he thought it tasted good or not.

“Die, monster!” Richter jumped out of nowhere, whip already in hand. “You do not belong in this world!”

“…what is he talking about?” Piper leaned towards Kaden, whispering an aside. “And where did he get the whip? I thought he was still behind us.”

“I have no idea,” Kaden shook his head.

Richter and the king, meanwhile, began their fight, though it was not with the…zeal that those in the room had been expecting. In fact, all the whip-wielding man seemed to be doing was jumping in random intervals, lashing out with his weapon at the top of every jump. The King, on the other hand, merely took it for the most part, though he managed to let out a few witty catch phrases in between blows. The two Kill Town contestants merely watched, hoping that, one way or another, the fight would end soon.

“I will destroy you!” the monarch cried.

“Your words are as empty as your soul!” Richter retorted.

The battle crept along, and Piper’s attention faded in and out. Unfortunately, she wasn’t paying close enough attention to dodge a stray attack from the man’s whip. The weapon slashed across her face, knocking her out before she could realize what had happened. Kaden gasped and rushed to her side, but his portal had been summoned underneath him, again at the seemingly worst time possible.

And the fight went on, its participants completely unaware of any change.

Winner: Kaden

Piper will wake up in the prison.

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