[C&C] Zeyla

[Zeyla]

Basically this character is very new and I'm considering giving her a little more dept. Any opinions on my character so far are very welcome, also on my current writing; the 'taking down the boss' topic on earth is my latest, and hopefully slightly improved writing.

[Victoria]

What I told you in the PM is working wonders ^^ now it's easier to understand who's saying what.

Your spelling and grammar is a little off, but that will improve over time. If you can find a way to use a spellchecker website or anything, that will help, but as I already told you it's not a huge deal.

Writing here will greatly improve on your English, and you'll learn things so fast.

As far as your character goes, she seems a little flat at the moment. Fleshing her out and adding personal thoughts and more focus on her (than her sister) will help round her out. You have a long journey ahead of you so it's something that will progress over time.

It took me something like 50,000+ words and member interaction before I got Victoria rounded out as a character and I'm still going ^^.

If you want some tips (I recently started following it) this thread is useful: http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17671

It'll tell you how to improve your writing, and all that fun stuff.