Funniness

[Hellfighter 17]

xD

That's a good one, Borgos.

j00 are teh ub3r c00l

*infinite sexu*

[Burter]

Yea. Because it was the first. We don't need duplicates.

[The Not Cool Not Tapion]

Oh yeah?

Well a man walks into a bar and orders tequilla straight. The bar tender, knowing that people usually drink hard if there are problems decides to ask whats wrong.

"I caught my wife in bed with my best friend." He replied.

"Oh, that's too bad."

"Yeah, I told me wife to leave and take her stuff."

The bartender nods in approvement then asks, "What did you tell your best friend?"

"Bad dog!"

=D

[Krillin]

Five blondes walk into a bar. You would think one of them would've seen it.

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A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said ?50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation. Moments later, the woman's husband Alex, came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Alex".

---------------------------------

I went to the store the other day and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said "Come on buddy, how about giving me a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

[The Not Cool Not Tapion]

Your jokes suck ass.

They were slightly funny but they don't even bring a chuckle to my lips.

[Hellfighter 17]

Tap's was pretty clsoe to funny. I guess I'm not the kind of guy who likes jokes.

[Krillin]

Originally posted by Tapion
Your jokes suck ass.

They were slightly funny but they don't even bring a chuckle to my lips.

They work better when spoken.

[Hellfighter 17]

I only like anecdotes. And they have to be said by the person they happened to and in person, or esle not even close to funny.

[The Not Cool Not Tapion]

Lmao. xD

[Hellfighter 17]

Thanks, Rec, your joke reminded me of a real one.



A man and his wife go golfing. All around teh edge of the golf course there are houses, so the husband tells his wife, "Be careful, honey, I don't wnat a heft bill now, eh?" (BTW, they're Canadian.) So five minutes later the husband hits off tee and knocks it into one of the houses.

The two of them walk over to the house so that they can apologize and what not. The door is unlocked, but nobody is home so they just walk in. In the living room they notice that a lamp has fallen over and broken. Next to it is a very old man sitting on the floor on top of some exotic carpet.

"I am your genie and I will grant you one wish." They only get one wish because he is an American genie. The couple look at each other and then the husband starts.

"Friggin' eh! I think we'd like 10 billion dollars." The husband and wife look at each other with much excitement.

"Your wish is granted, but first we need to. . .consemate it." the old geezer looks at the wife and says, "I'll ahve to have sex with your wife." The wife doesn't even need to think about it before she gives it the okay.

As teh husband waits downstairs for about half an hour all he hears is moans and groans but just keeps thinking about the money.

Five minutes after the husband starts to get fed up a man walks through teh door. "What the hell are you doing in my house?! Where's my grandfather. . .wait a second, did he do it again? Grandpa!"

[Ruhiel]

XD

That one was good HF.

[Zarbon]

Bill Gates died. He went up to be judged and after some deliberating God spoke to Bill.

"Bill, I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. You put a computer in everyone's home but created that vile Windows 95 and its evil twin Windows ME. So, I will let you decide by showing you both Heaven and Hell."

Bill then replied, "I want to see Hell first." So Bill went to Hell.

There were warm sandy beaches, clean blue oceans, and beuatiful women.

"If this is Hell," Bill said, "I want to see Heaven!." So Bill went to Heaven.

There was golden streets and angels and people playing harps.

After seeing Heaven God asked Bill, "Where do you want to spend eternity."

Bill quickly replied, "I wanna go to Hell!'


Several days later, God went to check up on Bill. He found him chained to a wall being tortured by demons.

"What happened to the beaches and women?" Bill asked God.

"Oh," God replied, "that was the screensaver."

[Hellfighter 17]

Originally posted by Recoome
XD!

Zarbon's one owned. HF17 sucks because I made my joke up. =|

So did I, yours just reminded me of that as soon as I saw "golf." Go away. Now.

\big meanie

You know you love it.

[Hellfighter 17]

Good for you. If I were Christian I would hope I would do so.

Well, back to this. Zarbon, your had a good zing and it was good, but it just wasn't funny good for me. Yea get what I mean?