opinion needed...

[Hellfighter 17]

i was just wondering if anyone can look at my Off To Earth bit on Vegeta and tell me what they think. I know it's only three posts, but i'd like to know where I can improve and where I did good.

[Hellfighter 17]

thank, you I hope that I can someday become as great as you alreday have become, that is now my life journy, to be you.

I must be crazy huh?

[Sage]

I realize this post isn't too important, but I just had to say that Recoome has just posted some of the best constructive criticism I've ever seen on any RP board, and I had to let him know. Great job, Recoome!!

[Tamsin]

Also dont just write the persons actions, but their thoughts and emotions as well. Also put some work into the surrondings. For example:"The rising sun gave the Kame House a distinct orange look." Thats not good, but do something like it.

[Tamsin]

Originally posted by Recoome

Originally posted by Pikkon
smells,visions,sounds,feelings,emotions....Everything you possibly can.

This works for many people, just not me. I tried this, and I found it repititive, boring, and just downright lame. It would be better to just describe either a relationship to your characters mood and his surroundings, or make purely emotional/thought for description. I REALLY hate reading people's RP's when they just have great descriptions, and not much else. Garlic is a great example of this, he has his characters mood effect basically everything he does, and the way he sees things. My character makes bridges from his mood to his perception of the surroundings. Just try it, its really a good method.

Listen to the master.....he has the best IC character of the month

[Rem-13]

Well another thing I do when I have the time... which is almost never... is to write alot of it then let it sit for awhile. When I come back to it I read through it from more of an outside perspective because its not fresh in my mind and I can see it easier from an outsiders perspective. From that view I find that its easier to revise things like sentence structure. Everyones different though, what one does doesnt necesarily work for the other.

[Abel]

The funny thing is, in IM Recoome asked me to rate him and I gave him tips. Now look at this, how cute. My little newblet is all grown up ^_^

[Alura]

Originally posted by Tapion
The funny thing is, in IM Recoome asked me to rate him and I gave him tips. Now look at this, how cute. My little newblet is all grown up ^_^

I remember Chi saying that to me one time @_@

Oh, on topic >_<

One peice of advice, you dont have to keep saying Hellfighter 17. You can use HF17 every now and then, or just 17