12-17-2004, 02:50 AM
This is due tomorrow. Its supposed to be a story thats descriptive enough so that a person can feel like they're there, anyone who can give me feedback would help.
Pilgrimage to clarity
It was a chilled morning. The sky was patched with puffy clouds, but beyond those clouds the stars still twinkled. Though it was still quite early, Princess Tessa was up as usual. It was like a private ritual, she rose at such early hours from her cozy four post bed. The chill that bit at her skin could not make her turn back. Out she would walk onto her balcony to take in the vast sky. The sun would rise soon, and although she witnessed it every morning, it was always breath taking. Today was more meaningful though, today she had a vital choice to make.
As the sun rose its flaming rays touched the lifeless clouds and animated them with color and radiance. Its magical beams of light seemed to set fire to the darkness and make every particle in the world shine with golden brilliance. Each color blended and came to life like a magical painting. The tress below became beautiful creations of the earth. The city shined like a miniature stone kingdom. Each white building became a single item that burned itself into the young woman?s eyes. She took it all in, every bit, even though she knew it all very well.
She loved her home, and today she would take it all in as if she had never known it. Her mind burned with the constant reminders of her future. There was almost no time left, and so today a decision had to be made. Her pale eyes continued to stare down at the world which lay out before her. It was time to go and take it all in for, what could be, the last time
This palace was home. It was an age long structure that no one could recall its beginning. The building itself was made of an odd stone; Tessa recalled the name of it, Marble. Her ancestors had gotten it long ago by some means. It was such strong stone and one could easily tell they reveled in its beauty. Every part of the palace was Marble, save a few places here and there. Tessa started her little pilgrimage there.
Her room stood high and wide. Her old wardrobe stood against the far wall. Its wood was a deep brown-red color that she loved to look at and feel. The floor she often walked barefoot on was of that marble stone. It spread out like a white blanket of snow, though it had traces of other minerals within it. She loved it but due to its cold nature she had blood red carpets placed around the room. Her bed was set against one wall, while a fire place roared opposite of it. There were wooden chairs and a table as well, just in case she had guests. A set of wooden doors led out to her balcony where plants and flowers grew in abundance. The sunlight sparkled inward through the crystalline glass that they used in the palace. The wall opposite of her balcony had one door that was of the same wood.
Tessa exited her room with a subtle sigh. The hall she entered seemed to go on for a long time. Along the walls were doors that would enter into various other rooms. A long furry red carpet lined the floor to keep peoples feet warm. She walked along and studied the paintings that had been put up along the years. Each one was of some family member or another. Some of the paintings were of men, but most of them women. Every door was shut, usually they were like that. Most of the doors led to her sisters chambers, she had no brothers. She ignored the doors and continued along the hall, it was empty and quiet, but once more, that?s usually how it was like.
At the end of the hall the wall split open to give way to a large stairway. Each step was carved beautifully from the white stone surrounding her. The steps went down far with walls on each side closing her figure in. She stepped lightly, the rug had ended but at the bottom it would continue. She finally stepped off the last step, realizing for the first time that the staircase was actually quite high. She stood staring forward at what was the great entrance of her home.
Pillars of marble towered high to the ceiling. The ceiling was actually domed and the pillars merged with the rock above. How had they done it? It was as if the whole thing had once been a giant block and they had just carved from it. She continued walking along the rug and looking around the vast room. Beyond and ahead of her was another stair. It led up the same amount of steps and the same dull hall. They could house an entire village here. Tessa admired the beautiful furniture that littered the place. Wood carved chairs, a few tables, some stands with miniature statues. It was beautiful, quiet and still. She breathed and smelt the dusty smell of the open area. There was no sound here, not even her footsteps made a sound. She walked lightly to be sure of that.
She ignored the might double doors that led to the throne room. It was not something she cared for. So many people had been given burdens there, their hopes had been dashed. She did not want to even look upon that evil room. Instead she turned opposite from it and walked toward another large set of doors. Beyond these she would see the world. Nestled in the midst of its beauty would be the kingdoms city, and it was as much beautiful as her home was.
Tessa opened the great doors and stepped outside. The sun was still continuing its ascent into the sky. The duel moons she often stared out were now nothing but light shadows in the brightening sky. She stepped lightly down the steps; these were made of a different mineral that had also come from their ancestors, it was called Granite. She felt the texture of the stone beneath her feet, it was almost tingling. She often felt little charges from the stone around her, they was such beautiful things. She left the palace with no problem and set down the path toward the city.
What a hard choice. Her mind went through the pervious day. She stood as if she were a small inferior bug in the throne room. Her mother sat proud upon her seat, a gloating bird in prime. Her fancy dress sparkled with rocks and gems and her hair was alive with feathers and ribbons. She was not perfect, but she was powerful and beautiful enough. She could not hide the pudginess of her frame, but she was praised and too powerful to care. Her daughter, though most of the family despised her, was not even close to what the Queen was. Tessa?s mother laid out her plans, her hopes. She was the eldest daughter, and she would take the throne and rule as Queen soon. She could not rule as she would like to, no, her mother would not allow that.
Tessa remembered the burning in her cheeks, the hotness of the room. The rug under her feet seemed slippery from her own sweat. Her mother sitting atop her throne seemed to tower over her, control her. She stared desperately at the chief councilor; he stared at her with a sorry expression. There was no help for her, she would have to rule and do as her mother bade. Though the idea of becoming Queen did indeed appeal to the eldest Princess, the thought of doing such in her mothers? manner was ghastly. Not even the stone pillars surrounding her could please her mood. She could not rule with such cruelty.
Queen Mylee was a tyrant among tyrants. She ruled the city, and even the planet. The planet was named Fratoth, though no one really knew why. It was passed down from the ancient past and today that was still what they called it. There were not many villages or cities, most people now lived within the Kingdoms boundaries. The royal city was one that most people adored. The Queen also adored it, she would not have let them use so much of her precious ore otherwise. But she upheld one rule, and it was a hard one that by now most people lived easily by. Men were nothing, they were inferior. Women were supreme, they ruled and dominated. The men were nothing but lovers and workers; they were otherwise useless to the world. This was what Tessa could not stand, how unjust her mother could be.
Tessa rounded a bend in the quiet jungle. It was a beautiful part of the land. Though she had not yet traveled far on this planet she still thought of this area as a beautiful enchanted world. All around her the planets sparkled in morning dew. Their greed radiated in abundance. There were trees; of course, they were as large and high as the pillars in her home. They were ancient, and so striking. There were also smaller plants, vegetation that was wild and could even sometimes be dangerous. Vines snaked across the path and even moved once in a while. There were flowers that lined the walk way and made the air smell of sweet nectar. The jungle soon woke with sounds of birds and scurrying animals. It was so mystical to Tessa; she loved walking through it everyday. The sun would poke down through the treetops and dance prettily along the dusty pathway. It was also humid in the jungle, but not too much to be uncomfortable.
Tessa finally immerged at the city gate. She walked in and took in the glorious sight. The city could rival that of the palace. Not only were the buildings made of marble and granite, but it was also made of the precious ore Mytril. It was such a beautiful mineral. It was pure and strong, so strong that people even possessed it into armor and even weapons. She stared in awe as the city opened up for her and she actually looked at every detail. She had been here many times; she was the only one of her family that did so. This time it was her duty to see it as the city truly was.
The gate led in a path toward the buildings. They were not too tall, but had second levels. Their windows were simple holes; they did not have glass of any sort. The path led down along until hitting an intersection. Here in the middle was set a fountain with poured water as clear as crystal. It rained downward and into a basin where various kinds of fish swam. She would often sit here and think, it was a quiet area. Only a few people walked by here in the morning, that?s why she usually came so early.
The path that continued forward would lead to more buildings and where assorted little stalls were set up. The people here enjoyed trading and selling goods. She ignored that section and looked toward the right path. It curved lightly and she felt a strange pull toward it. Some kind of feeling made her want to venture down there, and so she did.
Beyond the curve she gasped in surprise. There were many little pools of water set in basins of marble. Small waterfalls trickled and made beautiful music in the air. She walked down the path. Vegetation grew in wealth around the watery structures and she felt as if she were at home. Her body tingled as she breathed in the smell of fresh earth and air. The flowers that bloomed here gave a spicy smell which she hadf not smelt before. Why had she not seen this section? It was vast. It was like a jungle on its own. Little rivulets had been made along the ground and even across her path. It was like a little section of the jungle had been moved into the city. For a while Tessa just stood within it, her thoughts once more drifting.
His name was Aldros, if that was even true. He had come secretly, like some dark shadow. She had met him here in the city as he was passing by, and that was when she first hungered for him. He was so contrast. Here everyone wore white, a beautiful pure color. He was dark; he wore black and seemed like a dark cloud passing over the sun. At first sight she was enticed to him. This was the reason she had come here so often, waiting to see him. She became obsessed, and soon they both purposely started to see each other. It became just a subtle thing, but seen it blossomed into love and desire. She loved this man; he explained to her his life. He was a smuggler, and he knew what was out there beyond Fratoth, he even told her that this planet was much like many others. It was such a mysterious thing, there were other worlds? She loved him, and she loved his stories. And then one day he asked her to go away with him.
How could I? Tessa thought. It was a hard thing to decide. And there laid her choices. Was she to stay and rule as her mother commanded her to, or was she to fly off to a new world and live a new life? This was why she was on her small, but important pilgrimage. She wanted to see her home, her land. Now she saw the beauty of it, the feeling she got from looking at it. It was the same feeling she got from looking at Aldros. He was a mysterious figure, and so was this land.
She wandered back down the dusty path. The sun now beat down on her from above. The heat flooded down her back and against her raven hair. The day was going on, and she was going in circles; to stay, or not to stay? She had already cried many times over it.
She exited the magical district and continued straight past the fountain and toward the left path. She heard the sound of hushed voices, which was usually the extent of people speaking. They talked quietly, and they smiled. The sun shimmered against the beautiful houses. The white stone was almost magical; she loved its look and texture. She walked along; the smell of fresh bread suddenly filled the air. A few children ran past and toward what seemed to be a playground. There were swings and slides, all made of smooth stone. The swings were made of hide and chain, though.
It hit her again. How could she leave this place? Though she saw hardly any men, it was still a nice place. If only she could rule freely, but her mother held too tight a grip. And then it hit her as the sun had hit the sky. It was so simple that she could not believe it. She turned around from the children and started up the lane once more. She walked down the path toward the gate and up the path through the jungle. The vines quivered and the flowers shook in a cool breeze. She passed it all by, though smiling to herself. She made her way back to the palace with a happy glow, she had not been so happy in so long.
Her sisters hated her, but now they would hate her even more. They believed she was too soft, to caring. They knew how she was, but her mother never cared to notice. They would not be able to stop her. Tessa raced up the steps and threw open the great doors. Servants were now up and about, they stared at her curiously but no one stopped her. She marched her way through the great hall. The pillars rose high beside her, the furry rug beneath her feet tickled her toes. Her heavy breathing echoed off the walls but she did not stop to rest. She had passed her stair case and the one contrary to hers. Quickly she ascended the stone steps and walked toward the double doors that led to the throne room. Without even a knock she marched in and toward her powerful mother.
?I will take your place; I will rule the city of Tyroth and the world that is Fratoth.? She said with a voice strong and controlled. Her breathing was still heavy but she worked to look like a dominate figure. She could sense curious eyes behind her, most likely that of her youngest sister who hated her the most. ?I will lead with the control you ask me to, and I will dominate all the pitiful men as you would, mother.? The queen smiled a malicious grin and stood up to show that she was pleased.
?Excellent, I?m glad you?ve found your way.? Was all she said and she sat back down. Tessa smiled to herself and turned to leave. She pushed past her sister and immediately raced all the way down the hall. Everything passed her with a blur and she would not stop until she was within the safety of her room. Up the stairs she raced, the hall was nothing more but a race way for her retreat. She gripped her door handle and opened her door wide. Once inside she closed it and leaned her weary body against the wood. She slumped and sat down; soon she started laughing to herself.
Yes, she would rule. Tessa would rule as her mother wanted her to, but her mother was growing old. Soon she would die, and once that happened she would take over completely and rule as she wished. No longer would men feel inferior, and no longer would things be so cruel. She would ask Aldros to be her consort and stay with her when he could, no doubt he would enjoy being apart of her life, after all she would soon be Queen. She continued to laugh; it would all be for the better.
Pilgrimage to clarity
It was a chilled morning. The sky was patched with puffy clouds, but beyond those clouds the stars still twinkled. Though it was still quite early, Princess Tessa was up as usual. It was like a private ritual, she rose at such early hours from her cozy four post bed. The chill that bit at her skin could not make her turn back. Out she would walk onto her balcony to take in the vast sky. The sun would rise soon, and although she witnessed it every morning, it was always breath taking. Today was more meaningful though, today she had a vital choice to make.
As the sun rose its flaming rays touched the lifeless clouds and animated them with color and radiance. Its magical beams of light seemed to set fire to the darkness and make every particle in the world shine with golden brilliance. Each color blended and came to life like a magical painting. The tress below became beautiful creations of the earth. The city shined like a miniature stone kingdom. Each white building became a single item that burned itself into the young woman?s eyes. She took it all in, every bit, even though she knew it all very well.
She loved her home, and today she would take it all in as if she had never known it. Her mind burned with the constant reminders of her future. There was almost no time left, and so today a decision had to be made. Her pale eyes continued to stare down at the world which lay out before her. It was time to go and take it all in for, what could be, the last time
This palace was home. It was an age long structure that no one could recall its beginning. The building itself was made of an odd stone; Tessa recalled the name of it, Marble. Her ancestors had gotten it long ago by some means. It was such strong stone and one could easily tell they reveled in its beauty. Every part of the palace was Marble, save a few places here and there. Tessa started her little pilgrimage there.
Her room stood high and wide. Her old wardrobe stood against the far wall. Its wood was a deep brown-red color that she loved to look at and feel. The floor she often walked barefoot on was of that marble stone. It spread out like a white blanket of snow, though it had traces of other minerals within it. She loved it but due to its cold nature she had blood red carpets placed around the room. Her bed was set against one wall, while a fire place roared opposite of it. There were wooden chairs and a table as well, just in case she had guests. A set of wooden doors led out to her balcony where plants and flowers grew in abundance. The sunlight sparkled inward through the crystalline glass that they used in the palace. The wall opposite of her balcony had one door that was of the same wood.
Tessa exited her room with a subtle sigh. The hall she entered seemed to go on for a long time. Along the walls were doors that would enter into various other rooms. A long furry red carpet lined the floor to keep peoples feet warm. She walked along and studied the paintings that had been put up along the years. Each one was of some family member or another. Some of the paintings were of men, but most of them women. Every door was shut, usually they were like that. Most of the doors led to her sisters chambers, she had no brothers. She ignored the doors and continued along the hall, it was empty and quiet, but once more, that?s usually how it was like.
At the end of the hall the wall split open to give way to a large stairway. Each step was carved beautifully from the white stone surrounding her. The steps went down far with walls on each side closing her figure in. She stepped lightly, the rug had ended but at the bottom it would continue. She finally stepped off the last step, realizing for the first time that the staircase was actually quite high. She stood staring forward at what was the great entrance of her home.
Pillars of marble towered high to the ceiling. The ceiling was actually domed and the pillars merged with the rock above. How had they done it? It was as if the whole thing had once been a giant block and they had just carved from it. She continued walking along the rug and looking around the vast room. Beyond and ahead of her was another stair. It led up the same amount of steps and the same dull hall. They could house an entire village here. Tessa admired the beautiful furniture that littered the place. Wood carved chairs, a few tables, some stands with miniature statues. It was beautiful, quiet and still. She breathed and smelt the dusty smell of the open area. There was no sound here, not even her footsteps made a sound. She walked lightly to be sure of that.
She ignored the might double doors that led to the throne room. It was not something she cared for. So many people had been given burdens there, their hopes had been dashed. She did not want to even look upon that evil room. Instead she turned opposite from it and walked toward another large set of doors. Beyond these she would see the world. Nestled in the midst of its beauty would be the kingdoms city, and it was as much beautiful as her home was.
Tessa opened the great doors and stepped outside. The sun was still continuing its ascent into the sky. The duel moons she often stared out were now nothing but light shadows in the brightening sky. She stepped lightly down the steps; these were made of a different mineral that had also come from their ancestors, it was called Granite. She felt the texture of the stone beneath her feet, it was almost tingling. She often felt little charges from the stone around her, they was such beautiful things. She left the palace with no problem and set down the path toward the city.
What a hard choice. Her mind went through the pervious day. She stood as if she were a small inferior bug in the throne room. Her mother sat proud upon her seat, a gloating bird in prime. Her fancy dress sparkled with rocks and gems and her hair was alive with feathers and ribbons. She was not perfect, but she was powerful and beautiful enough. She could not hide the pudginess of her frame, but she was praised and too powerful to care. Her daughter, though most of the family despised her, was not even close to what the Queen was. Tessa?s mother laid out her plans, her hopes. She was the eldest daughter, and she would take the throne and rule as Queen soon. She could not rule as she would like to, no, her mother would not allow that.
Tessa remembered the burning in her cheeks, the hotness of the room. The rug under her feet seemed slippery from her own sweat. Her mother sitting atop her throne seemed to tower over her, control her. She stared desperately at the chief councilor; he stared at her with a sorry expression. There was no help for her, she would have to rule and do as her mother bade. Though the idea of becoming Queen did indeed appeal to the eldest Princess, the thought of doing such in her mothers? manner was ghastly. Not even the stone pillars surrounding her could please her mood. She could not rule with such cruelty.
Queen Mylee was a tyrant among tyrants. She ruled the city, and even the planet. The planet was named Fratoth, though no one really knew why. It was passed down from the ancient past and today that was still what they called it. There were not many villages or cities, most people now lived within the Kingdoms boundaries. The royal city was one that most people adored. The Queen also adored it, she would not have let them use so much of her precious ore otherwise. But she upheld one rule, and it was a hard one that by now most people lived easily by. Men were nothing, they were inferior. Women were supreme, they ruled and dominated. The men were nothing but lovers and workers; they were otherwise useless to the world. This was what Tessa could not stand, how unjust her mother could be.
Tessa rounded a bend in the quiet jungle. It was a beautiful part of the land. Though she had not yet traveled far on this planet she still thought of this area as a beautiful enchanted world. All around her the planets sparkled in morning dew. Their greed radiated in abundance. There were trees; of course, they were as large and high as the pillars in her home. They were ancient, and so striking. There were also smaller plants, vegetation that was wild and could even sometimes be dangerous. Vines snaked across the path and even moved once in a while. There were flowers that lined the walk way and made the air smell of sweet nectar. The jungle soon woke with sounds of birds and scurrying animals. It was so mystical to Tessa; she loved walking through it everyday. The sun would poke down through the treetops and dance prettily along the dusty pathway. It was also humid in the jungle, but not too much to be uncomfortable.
Tessa finally immerged at the city gate. She walked in and took in the glorious sight. The city could rival that of the palace. Not only were the buildings made of marble and granite, but it was also made of the precious ore Mytril. It was such a beautiful mineral. It was pure and strong, so strong that people even possessed it into armor and even weapons. She stared in awe as the city opened up for her and she actually looked at every detail. She had been here many times; she was the only one of her family that did so. This time it was her duty to see it as the city truly was.
The gate led in a path toward the buildings. They were not too tall, but had second levels. Their windows were simple holes; they did not have glass of any sort. The path led down along until hitting an intersection. Here in the middle was set a fountain with poured water as clear as crystal. It rained downward and into a basin where various kinds of fish swam. She would often sit here and think, it was a quiet area. Only a few people walked by here in the morning, that?s why she usually came so early.
The path that continued forward would lead to more buildings and where assorted little stalls were set up. The people here enjoyed trading and selling goods. She ignored that section and looked toward the right path. It curved lightly and she felt a strange pull toward it. Some kind of feeling made her want to venture down there, and so she did.
Beyond the curve she gasped in surprise. There were many little pools of water set in basins of marble. Small waterfalls trickled and made beautiful music in the air. She walked down the path. Vegetation grew in wealth around the watery structures and she felt as if she were at home. Her body tingled as she breathed in the smell of fresh earth and air. The flowers that bloomed here gave a spicy smell which she hadf not smelt before. Why had she not seen this section? It was vast. It was like a jungle on its own. Little rivulets had been made along the ground and even across her path. It was like a little section of the jungle had been moved into the city. For a while Tessa just stood within it, her thoughts once more drifting.
His name was Aldros, if that was even true. He had come secretly, like some dark shadow. She had met him here in the city as he was passing by, and that was when she first hungered for him. He was so contrast. Here everyone wore white, a beautiful pure color. He was dark; he wore black and seemed like a dark cloud passing over the sun. At first sight she was enticed to him. This was the reason she had come here so often, waiting to see him. She became obsessed, and soon they both purposely started to see each other. It became just a subtle thing, but seen it blossomed into love and desire. She loved this man; he explained to her his life. He was a smuggler, and he knew what was out there beyond Fratoth, he even told her that this planet was much like many others. It was such a mysterious thing, there were other worlds? She loved him, and she loved his stories. And then one day he asked her to go away with him.
How could I? Tessa thought. It was a hard thing to decide. And there laid her choices. Was she to stay and rule as her mother commanded her to, or was she to fly off to a new world and live a new life? This was why she was on her small, but important pilgrimage. She wanted to see her home, her land. Now she saw the beauty of it, the feeling she got from looking at it. It was the same feeling she got from looking at Aldros. He was a mysterious figure, and so was this land.
She wandered back down the dusty path. The sun now beat down on her from above. The heat flooded down her back and against her raven hair. The day was going on, and she was going in circles; to stay, or not to stay? She had already cried many times over it.
She exited the magical district and continued straight past the fountain and toward the left path. She heard the sound of hushed voices, which was usually the extent of people speaking. They talked quietly, and they smiled. The sun shimmered against the beautiful houses. The white stone was almost magical; she loved its look and texture. She walked along; the smell of fresh bread suddenly filled the air. A few children ran past and toward what seemed to be a playground. There were swings and slides, all made of smooth stone. The swings were made of hide and chain, though.
It hit her again. How could she leave this place? Though she saw hardly any men, it was still a nice place. If only she could rule freely, but her mother held too tight a grip. And then it hit her as the sun had hit the sky. It was so simple that she could not believe it. She turned around from the children and started up the lane once more. She walked down the path toward the gate and up the path through the jungle. The vines quivered and the flowers shook in a cool breeze. She passed it all by, though smiling to herself. She made her way back to the palace with a happy glow, she had not been so happy in so long.
Her sisters hated her, but now they would hate her even more. They believed she was too soft, to caring. They knew how she was, but her mother never cared to notice. They would not be able to stop her. Tessa raced up the steps and threw open the great doors. Servants were now up and about, they stared at her curiously but no one stopped her. She marched her way through the great hall. The pillars rose high beside her, the furry rug beneath her feet tickled her toes. Her heavy breathing echoed off the walls but she did not stop to rest. She had passed her stair case and the one contrary to hers. Quickly she ascended the stone steps and walked toward the double doors that led to the throne room. Without even a knock she marched in and toward her powerful mother.
?I will take your place; I will rule the city of Tyroth and the world that is Fratoth.? She said with a voice strong and controlled. Her breathing was still heavy but she worked to look like a dominate figure. She could sense curious eyes behind her, most likely that of her youngest sister who hated her the most. ?I will lead with the control you ask me to, and I will dominate all the pitiful men as you would, mother.? The queen smiled a malicious grin and stood up to show that she was pleased.
?Excellent, I?m glad you?ve found your way.? Was all she said and she sat back down. Tessa smiled to herself and turned to leave. She pushed past her sister and immediately raced all the way down the hall. Everything passed her with a blur and she would not stop until she was within the safety of her room. Up the stairs she raced, the hall was nothing more but a race way for her retreat. She gripped her door handle and opened her door wide. Once inside she closed it and leaned her weary body against the wood. She slumped and sat down; soon she started laughing to herself.
Yes, she would rule. Tessa would rule as her mother wanted her to, but her mother was growing old. Soon she would die, and once that happened she would take over completely and rule as she wished. No longer would men feel inferior, and no longer would things be so cruel. She would ask Aldros to be her consort and stay with her when he could, no doubt he would enjoy being apart of her life, after all she would soon be Queen. She continued to laugh; it would all be for the better.
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DA08 Winner. "Screw them, this was her show now."
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