The Truth About Burter

[Drake]

Originally posted by Garlic Jr

While driving on the highway, a child molester who is also driving might look into the back seat of your car and see your child using their DS back there. According to this terrifying report, the child molester can then - while driving their car - produce a DS of their own and utilize it to divine your home address. You will recall that he is driving on the highway at speeds approaching sixty miles an hour. One hand is on the wheel and the other is managing the gearbox. Thus, there can be no question.

He is entering these messages into the DS with his erect phallus.

The report isn't specific on this last point, but it's clearly present in the subtext. Pedophiles are writing messages to your kids using their dicks.

Most brilliant news post by Tycho in a long time.

I always knew you couldn't trust Nintendo, this just makes all the pieces fit together. Nintendo Wii....