Pirates Ahoy! (Non-Spoilers)

[Tapion]

Seriously...it came out today and we don't have a thread about it...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! >_<

Right now I'd give my left...and right...and middle...testicles to see this movie. Capt'n Jack gives me the shivers in a good way :]

[Retane]

EH I thoguht the movies came out on Fridays>_>

[Tapion]

I think technically it does...but it's playing at a few theaters near me tonight at like 11-midnight.

[Jewtastic]

Showings start at 8pm tonight...I am going in 3 hours.

[Tapion]

I'm really debating whether to go tonight or not. On one hand, I could go to the 11 O'clock showing and see it alone, on the other hand people I know are seeing it tommorrow and I'm supposed to see it with them. I just don't know if I can wait the extra 24 hours though ;(

[Mowgli]

I said I'd come...>.>

[Tapion]

Originally posted by Goku Jr
I said I'd come...>.>

YOU NEVER SAW PIRATES II!!!!!
Dammit, go watch that now!

[Mowgli]

I did last night when you told me to. Right after you signed off. It was gay, every time I heard the word dutchman I thought of Spongebob.

Edit: I don't have my phone, DON'T CALL ME. i'll get on AIM.

[Android-18]

It comes it tomorrow here, I'm going with an old co-worker for her birthday.

[Super Buu]

I still need to see the second, but I'm apprehensive about watching it due to my DEATHLY FEAR OF KRAKEN.

[Dehan]

At first I thought POC would suck but I rented it out of boredom and I loved it. I'm defintly catching a afternoon showing tommrow.

[Saz]

I haven't watched the second one yet. My sister's got it on dvd but I didn't really enjoy the first one so never felt that bothered about watching the second. *Shrug*

[Nori]

Liz the Pirate.

<3

[Mowgli]

Guess you don't want to go with me...=(

No more gang activities for you!

[Nori]

SPOILER!

I loved when Liz freaked out on the beach when Turner, Sparrow, and the Commodore started to fight.

[Piccolo Daimoun]

Saw it.

It was hilarious. And awesome.

[Nori]

>_>. You. <_<.

[Downy Peach]

I can't remember the last time I went to the cinema. This might be the first time in a while something's actually persuaded me to. I'll be going alone however. It's kind of a tradition.

[Lucifer]

The Times had the most delightfully cutting review I've ever read of this film:

Make no mistake, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World?s End is a hit. The interstellar success of this, the third multimillion-dollar instalment in the increasingly profitable adventures of cockerney seadog Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), is a done deal. Like the summer?s other trilogies, Spider-Man 3 and Shrek the Third, the movie is a coruscating testament to the power of audience-pleasing special effects, epic value-for-money running times, and innocuous family-friendly narratives.

But that doesn?t mean it?s actually any good.

Eclipsing the 2003 original in length alone, clocking in at an alarming and possibly DVT-inducing 168 minutes, At World?s End begins where part 2 (Dead Man?s Chest) left off. Here, via a plot that repeatedly mistakes incessant convolutions for depth and intrigue, our protagonists are bounced around the known and unknown worlds in a vague attempt to rescue Captain Sparrow from a Sisyphean afterlife of encroaching madness, to recruit the nine international Pirate Lords (don?t ask) in a battle against the evil East India Trading Company, to reunite Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) with his father Bootstrap Bill (Stellan Skarsg?rd), to punish the murderous Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), to satisfy the ambitions of Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and to, well, it just goes on and on.

The Pirates movies are not renowned for their narrative ?lan, and characters tend to plunge from boat to boat to island to death to underworld and back again with a remarkable lack of causality. But At World?s End sets a new benchmark in storytelling inertia, with arbitrary plot lines, motivations and character betrayals repeatedly heaped upon each other until, about 90 minutes in (only halfway there!), the only appropriate response is to relinquish any hope of a normative narrative experience and give yourself up to the spectacle instead. ?Do you think he plans it all out or just makes it up as he goes along?? asks a stupefied sailor, as Sparrow swings to safety after another one of the movie?s many interminable skirmishes. He might have been discussing director Gore Verbinski?s film-making skills.

Elsewhere, as is typical of third instalments such as Spider-Man 3 and The Matrix Revolutions, the movie is drained of originality and opts for the easy fix of eye-gouging CG imagery and noisy set-pieces. But when you?ve seen a galleon spilling over the edge of a waterfall at the border of the universe, you don?t need to see it racing across an eternal desert, or spun for 20 minutes around a mid-oceanic whirlpool.

The actors do their noble best, although there?s an eerie self-awareness to many of the turns that often desiccates them of charm. Depp?s Sparrow in particular, once so arresting, has now become formulaic and sitcom. Bloom, in support, does typically solid hardwood, and Knightley loses herself in prognathous poses and head girl delivery. The much-vaunted cameo by Keith Richards, of the Rolling Stones, is a damp squib, although it does contain the smartest and funniest exchange in the movie.

And so, no, it?s not all bad news. The movie does, eventually, end, and there are a couple of nice gags in there ? ?They?re just giving the title away these days,? is Depp?s deliciously throwaway reaction to an unexpected promotion in his midst.

But, ultimately, At World?s End is a seafaring farce that?s so enamoured of its own synthetic spectacle and so cocksure of its own allure that it shows a strange contempt for those masses who will inevitably flock to see it.