Introduction

[Violet]

Heh, Bar let me vent on him a bit over my stress, and its really helped. But I thought since this was an introduction thread, this conversation would be perfect as to understanding me.


(Hope you don't mind me posting this, Bar.)





Intro: We started off talking about taxes and how they suck ass and various other things, then I had to get all emo on him. Sorry, Bar. <3

bar (2:55:34 AM): Think of it this way: if you can quit your ex ex boyfriend, you can quit cigarettes
bar (2:55:38 AM): Quitting people is hard
Vi (2:55:51 AM): i want to do it because i really hate how I can't run as good as i did 7 years ago. I used to jet back in high school
Vi (2:56:19 AM): and i hate waking up in the morning coughing and hacking my head off. and various other things
Vi (2:56:31 AM): it blows.
bar (2:56:34 AM): Why do you smoke in the first place?
bar (2:56:40 AM): Habit?
Vi (2:57:11 AM): stress. I tend to get a lot of it. i think that's what perpetuates it. when i get into a really stressful situation, including the living stress monster that is in the next room over, i smoke
bar (2:57:31 AM): The stress monster that pissed you off today? Saw the hate post
Vi (2:57:36 AM): Yeahhh
bar (2:57:56 AM): Everybody handles stress differently
bar (2:58:06 AM): It's mental is all
Vi (2:59:06 AM): She's pissing me off. I hate thinking of performing various acts of violence against her when she pisses me off
Vi (2:59:09 AM): , but man, if you knew her like I did, you'd want to just smack her a few times. Like, what set it off tonight, is she keeps yelling for me to go fetch her a drink of tea, or food, etc. etc.
bar (2:59:25 AM): What prevents her from getting it herself?
Vi (2:59:37 AM): I worked from 3:30 to 9:15 tonight, and she waits until I get home to fucking ask me to make her something to eat
Vi (2:59:39 AM): laziness.
bar (2:59:41 AM): As I recall, most everybody has a pair of legs
Vi (2:59:49 AM): pure fucking unadulterated laziness.
bar (3:00:05 AM): Don't perpetuate
bar (3:00:21 AM): And the acts of violence aren't a good sign
Vi (3:00:35 AM): I've been living with this same shit for the past 6 years.
bar (3:00:41 AM): Not that you would do them, just thinking them isn't
Vi (3:00:47 AM): i have the patience of a saint.
Vi (3:00:49 AM): --
bar (3:00:52 AM): I bet you do
Vi (3:01:14 AM): i've never laid a hand on her, but i tell you, some days, it seems like a good idea to just smack her in the head to knock some sense into her.
bar (3:01:23 AM): I'm sure you've explained your position, yes?
Vi (3:01:45 AM): Yeah. but she's one of those people who only listen to themselves, and think that they're never wrong about anything
Vi (3:01:52 AM): and that you're against them.
bar (3:01:59 AM): I'll tell you something, being hit never changes anything
bar (3:02:03 AM): Trust me
Vi (3:02:31 AM): add into that she's a hypercondriac, manic depressive, etc. and she's just a bundle of fun
bar (3:02:49 AM): That's when you put a call in to the boys in white
Vi (3:03:25 AM): I told her tonight, I don't mind helping her out every once in awhile as long as she helps herself, but its bullsht that its coming to the point to where she relies on me to do EVERYTHING for her.
bar (3:03:39 AM): Cyclical
bar (3:03:48 AM): She relies on you because you do stuff for her
bar (3:04:00 AM): Sucky thing and hard to break
Vi (3:04:34 AM): Yeah. pretty much. AS much as I don't like to do it, its just one of them things that if I don't, she'll continuously bitch about it, and bitch until she gets her way
bar (3:05:00 AM): Y'know, the logic of disciplining a five-year-old comes into play here
bar (3:05:11 AM): As humorous as that may sound
Vi (3:05:19 AM): what really pisses me off, is I'll be in here in my room just minding my own business, and she'll keep yelling my name continously until i go inand see what the hell she wants.
Vi (3:05:43 AM): and then she'll get pissed when i go in there all grouchy and yelling back at her. =|
bar (3:05:47 AM): If you ignore her, she'll eventually stop. Crank up some tunes
Vi (3:05:53 AM): no, no, she doesn't do that
Vi (3:06:20 AM): I even bought a pair of headphones that block out all background noise. It stops everything else, but her voice just breaks through them somehow. its fucked up
bar (3:06:26 AM): Wow
Vi (3:06:35 AM): she'll sit there on her bed and yell for 20 minutes straight dude
Vi (3:06:38 AM): i shit you not.
Vi (3:07:00 AM): all for me to go downstairs to get her a glass of ice or something to eat
bar (3:07:05 AM): She has serious co-dependency issues
Vi (3:07:08 AM): yea
Vi (3:07:19 AM): and i plot every day when i can finally move the fuck outta this bitch
bar (3:07:31 AM): In the twenty minutes she is yelling at you, she can fuckin do it herself
Vi (3:07:54 AM): but see, the cyclical thing comes into play. i depend on her for the car (that, I also pay on, but she 'owns' it.) so i can get to work
Vi (3:08:13 AM): and i have this rather fault where I am manipulated easily, and she plays it to its fullest
bar (3:08:27 AM): You need a buddy or something
Vi (3:08:32 AM): something.
bar (3:08:36 AM): That'll tell you to stop before you do that
Vi (3:08:37 AM): she scares away my buddies
Vi (3:08:38 AM): <.<
bar (3:09:06 AM): Save up some money, get a beater car, and move
bar (3:09:46 AM): Is there a bus route you can use to save on gas money?
Vi (3:10:26 AM): check this, i don't know if i've ever told you when i stayed with my aunt years ago, back in high school, but they used to be best friends before i moved in with her,
Vi (3:10:27 AM): but as soon as i moved in with her, she called EVERY DAY and put this woman down just because i was staying with her. This woman kept me in school every day.\
Vi (3:10:59 AM): and around here? yeah there is, but the problem is, with my shitty checks and the other bills i have to pay im pretty much broke after i get paid
Vi (3:11:03 AM): *the bills paid
bar (3:12:03 AM): Is there someone else in your family you can stay with?
bar (3:12:09 AM): Your aunt again, maybe?
Vi (3:12:09 AM): I guess the only thing that's really stopping me beyond that, is that she goes around talking shit about me about how
Vi (3:12:13 AM): im such a bad daughter when I'm not around. when i stayed with my ex and before that, with my aunt, that's all she did.
bar (3:12:33 AM): Is there someone else in your family you can stay with?
bar (3:12:37 AM): Damnit
Vi (3:12:37 AM): and i haven't heard from my aunt in like, two years. she moved from hilliard to somewhere else and i haven't been able to get ahold of her since, and the rest of my family doesn't really get along
bar (3:12:55 AM): You care too much about what she says
Vi (3:13:01 AM): Yeah. I do.
bar (3:13:05 AM): Don't
bar (3:13:47 AM): You have what I like to call "abused girlfriend syndrome." Those chicks are so messed up because they're treated bad that they don't know how to be when they're not
Vi (3:14:37 AM): I kinda find myself thinking from time to time maybe I should have just left to go stay with my dad when children
Vi (3:14:38 AM): services came when my mom was doing all that coke a while back ago. they offered to take me, but i stayed with her because she was the lesser of teh two evils. he was strung out on crack, and she coke.
Vi (3:14:47 AM): =|
Vi (3:14:52 AM): im just a bundle of emo fun
bar (3:14:57 AM): Dude, I'm so sorry
Vi (3:15:18 AM): well its not your fault, and i really appreciate you letting me actually talk your ear off about it lol
bar (3:15:27 AM): No, it's cool
Vi (3:15:29 AM): but i guess you come away with a little more about how i am
bar (3:15:33 AM): I just wish there was more I can say
bar (3:16:21 AM): We're all a little fucked up, yeah? We all have scars. It's all good.
Vi (3:16:26 AM): i stick on the internet alot, if you haven't noticed. its just pretty much a way where i can get away from all this shit.
bar (3:16:29 AM): You're the better person for it
Vi (3:16:48 AM): yeah, i suppose i am.
Vi (3:17:14 AM): I just keep aiming that with hard work and keeping my patience, I'll get outta this shit eventually.
bar (3:17:24 AM): Good plan. Stick with it
Vi (3:17:49 AM): I've been wanting to move to like, florida, because its far enough away from my family and its beautiful down there.
bar (3:18:15 AM): You can do it
bar (3:18:17 AM): You can
bar (3:19:11 AM): What is that corny old addage? "If you can believe you can achieve" or something
Vi (3:19:44 AM): i damn near almost did it when me and my friend joey went down there back in 02 or 03, can't remember which year lol. stayed down there for two weeks. i had applied to
Vi (3:19:45 AM): Walt Disney world as part of cleanup crew, almost got the job, and we were looking at houses on the southside of Orlando
Vi (3:20:05 AM): lol i went in with my portfolio of noob drawings trying to get a job as an apprentice animator. xD
Vi (3:20:23 AM): and the animation studios were in Burbank
Vi (3:20:24 AM): xD
bar (3:20:27 AM): Your drawings are pretty good. Don't knock 'em
bar (3:20:29 AM): =)
Vi (3:20:30 AM): i was like -.-\
Vi (3:20:41 AM): nah, these were ollllld stuff
Vi (3:21:04 AM): stuff that i shall burn before they reach other human eyes
bar (3:21:22 AM): That's too bad
bar (3:21:25 AM): =o
Vi (3:21:34 AM): wish i knew where joey was, he has all my pix from when we were down there.
bar (3:21:50 AM): brb
Vi (3:21:51 AM): we took a crapload of pix when we stopped in jacksonville
Vi (3:21:51 AM): ok