Feedback

[Alexander Trafford]

Could i get some feedback on ym personal saga leading up to the war on Earth thats coming... It's called Icicles and Armies and it's in the Earth-Sei thread.. If some people could go skim it, it'd be much appreciated. and don't be all nice and goody goody, lay it out for me.. Every but of criticism you can find or think of. Everyone be a critic like freiza.. cept be more critical O_O

[Abel]

I love you.

>_>

We need to RP together though. Seriously. I love the way you RP, and when I am finally done with King Kai quests, we should RP.

[Alura]

Originally posted by Pikkon
=( No critism from me

Then don't post.

[Alura]

Originally posted by Pikkon
He told me to...

I don't care, you should use your own damn judgement. What fucking use is a feedback post that says "I have nothing to say."

[Rem-13]

It looked to me like he was giving a compliment, saying he couldnt find anything wrong.

[Hellfighter 17]

Your RPs do seem well, I like your choice of metaphors and adjectives, creative. You seem to have trouble with transferring from one section to another, leaving, at least me, yearning for what had happened there, or what were the thoughts and feelings at the moment.

Originally posted by Minoshia
The Konatsa-jin knew he would be wanted to serve, he had seen the others applying, all normal humans. Pathetic and weak and looking to be in service just to avoid being alughtered like the pathetic larva growing on the surface being overrun with pesticide.

Some time later...

The Palace stood tall over the vast sunset, it's peaks reaching the heavens, its basin reaching the frozen hell that was it's domain. Minoshia wasn't heading towards the palace, not yet at least. He was heading to a subsection, the recruiting section.

That could become this:

The Konatsa-jin knew that his presence would be needed in this fight. The others he saw at the sign-ups were nothing but. pathetic, weak, normal human beings, just trying to save themselves from the onslaught that would be there inevitable fate.It would be of an insult to compare them to the larva of insects that semed to be rampant on this planet of idiocy.

He also was determined to prove his skills on the battlefield, a good fight could hurt nothing. His strive to become a better fighter than he currently wasis what kept him occupied until he found the area of concern to him. It may have seemed as though it was not a long flight, though this was not true. He had come upon a building after much time had passed, this uilding was very uniquely designed, but stood tall and defined. It appeared to be a palace, one for the Cold Industries Army. This building was not the one he wished to encounter, for it was another just a mile or two past.

Th erecruiting station was the one that please him more, hge would need to prove his worthiness to the people inside, so that he may fight along the army.


I hope you get the drift, you seem to be better at RPing a fight then traveling or being alone.

[Alura]

Originally posted by Recoome
Burter calm down. Ive done the same thing at least three times this month alone. Im doing it right now:

You know Im good for it, Minoshia. Honest.

Okay, I just got done telling someone not to do that, so because you've done it in the past you decide to do it right after I've said don't?

Take a fucking hint and DON'T DO IT.

[Alexander Trafford]

ALright so any more comments for me, before this has to be locked because Pikkon and Recoome are useless.