Ummm...

[Zarbon]

Bottom Line: I suck, need advice, and opitions on my work.

Most recent post: http://cdbzrpg.dracondev.com/forum/threa...=9579&sid=

[Ruhiel]

Hrm...
I've been reading some of your posts on and off recently, partly out of boredom... heck it was totally out of boredom =P

I'm having similar troubles right now. I can't seem to break out of this block I've created, making all my posts seem bland and uninteresting in my opinion.

Okay, here's my advice:

You're falling into a circle of the same words. I suggest looking in a thesaurus if you don't wish to change your writing style, so you will always have a fresh word to use for something. Another way to help this is to write random things in your spare time, using different styles of writing... comedy, description, emotion... the feelings you wish to convey basically. That, or write something completely non-dbz related. That seems to help me get some thoughts together sometimes.

That, and I know this is a DBZ rpg, and people are always supposed to be fighting, but personal reflections of your character, building a history and style to them is something I feel people need to do more. Maybe you could write a personal reflection for Zarbon, his struggle to transform, or whatever it is you are trying to do.

That's my two cents

[Zarbon]

I am thinking of a personal reflection thing. Pretty much, in one of the points in my quest, Zarbon finds a journal, and during a long journey up a long staircase, Zarbon writes in it, I got the idea out of a book I read, and I really like the idea. Also, I have no thesaurus.

[Hellfighter 17]

I had a big long advice thing for you...but then I lost it, and I am too involved in sopemthing I am currently writing to re-think of everything I was trying to post.

Basicaly, you need to elaborate in some parts. Such as when you trun around to fac ethe two imps, you shoudl try to get out why he is doing this; what are his thoughts and feelings at this moment? Also, you start out to fast. Don't really have naything ahppen at the beginnig, even if it is just rocks falling, you should have stuck to just him flying around, and describe the scenery a bit.

There is a thesaurus here.

[Jonathan Meer]

If you're a humorous guy, go for the comedy. I was in a bit of a rut with Drist's Dojo. Just about 20,000 friggin' words total.

Then, in a spar with HF17, I threw in the slightest bit of humor almost unintentionally. After noting the ease, I put in a bit more, and a bit more. I'm certainly not perpetually inspired (wouldn't that be nice?), but it's been a great help. I can't imagine doing the Battle of the Ogres without it.

Hell can be a funny place, if you let it.

[Zarbon]

Originally posted by Hell Fighter 17
I had a big long advice thing for you...but then I lost it, and I am too involved in sopemthing I am currently writing to re-think of everything I was trying to post.

Basicaly, you need to elaborate in some parts. Such as when you trun around to fac ethe two imps, you shoudl try to get out why he is doing this; what are his thoughts and feelings at this moment? Also, you start out to fast. Don't really have naything ahppen at the beginnig, even if it is just rocks falling, you should have stuck to just him flying around, and describe the scenery a bit.

There is a thesaurus here.

1. I described the scenery two posts before.

2. I'll try the thoughts and feeling thing more.

3. Thanks for the thesaurus.

4. Thanks for the advice.

5. You had a big long post? I must suck more then I thought.

[Hellfighter 17]

At the beginning of the 'big long post' I remembering saying that you

You are the sequenter-of events...er.

[Zarbon]

Sequeter?

I need to expand my vocab...

As in, order of time? Thats what it said when I looked it up.

*Feels stupid*

[Hellfighter 17]

I never even knew that was a word...learn something new every day. I hope you improve over time and I may even read some of your work as a pass time =D

[Zarbon]

Thanks alot 17... Lets see here...

1. Use a more variety of words.
2. More thoughts and feelings.

...Anything else? Anyone?