C&C for my Monkhood Post

[Dr. Cringle]

Would you guy's please give me some C&C on my most recent post?

The Monkhood

I'd appreciate it. ^_^

[Dr. Cringle]

I apoligize, it has been a few days, so I thought I should bump to get this noticed.

EDIT: I understand if you Chubbsians are busy with your lives, I will gladly wait another 3 days, I shouldn't be impatient. =\

[Kazuya]

It's only been a day, PBK. I am sure someone will see this at some point.

But, as an insider to this, I have to say that your writing skills are improving since you have been working with me and 13. He would agree, I am sure. Just make sure you take your time and start checking for spelling and grammar errors, and you should be fine. ^_^

[Dr. Cringle]

Originally posted by Violet
It's only been a day, PBK. I am sure someone will see this at some point.

But, as an insider to this, I have to say that your writing skills are improving since you have been working with me and 13. He would agree, I am sure. Just make sure you take your time and start checking for spelling and grammar errors, and you should be fine. ^_^

Only a day? But it was the 9th when I posted it, it's now the 11th. ;>>

In anycase, yeah, I really do need work on those, it's hard when your thinking of it, then actually typing it. =\ I will definately try and work on that this summer.

[Ander]

We'll make a decent roleplayer out of you yet. You're on the uphill slope.

If 'cranium' is a big word for him, Buukin is a little too eloquent sometimes. You don't have to make him stupid, but dialogue like 'riddled with rage' doesn't sit well with me when I think of how he acts and speaks. Maybe I have a misinterpretation of your character, but I try to look at the fine details.

Originally written by Panbuukin
Puar was about to open his wide gaping mouth...

That's a contradiction. If his mouth is gaping wide, it's already open. I understand the expression you're trying to use, so it's okay.

You've got pretty big potential, and you're the best Panbuukin I've ever seen, and we've had a lot of 'em. Don't you dare switch characters. I will keel you.

Also, if I ever met your character, I've decided I would call him Bucket. It just came to me one day. Yes, Bucket...