11-21-2005, 05:36 AM
"What's...going on? Where am I?" Bardock groaned, placing a broad hand over his face. His body lay in a crumpled heap, riddled with a drowsiness he was only beginning to recover from. What had happened? His first memories were of the tower, of what mattered.
"Kao!"
He knew that face instantly. The son of Brim had finally come. There was no pause, no hesitation. This was Bardock's fight, and the teenage son of a bitch wasn't going anywhere. The saiyan leapt high into the air, unable to contain himself any longer. He was living in the moment, rage boiling in his blood. A powerful right arm cocked back, ready to let loose some savage mayhem on the green youth.
All it took was a swift swing of Kao's arm, and Bardock was thrust aside. A skinny arm struck the saiya-jin's midsection, arching his body sideways and knocking the wind out of him. Bardock was flung into a wall, where he slammed into the stone and dropped unceremoniously into a heap, disoriented. Even a direct confrontation had not changed things. Kao's strength was completely overwhelming, and he had not had the element of surprise this time. Three simple blows, and Bardock had been felled by them all. This was intolerable.
"You have all ruined it! You will pay for ending it!" the producer's son screamed.
He summoned and fired a beam of power with unnatural speed, the massive energy output insanely unreal. Raditzu moved forward to take it head on, but the old namekian beat him to it. It was so stupid. A kamikaze, just like Burter. Sure enough, the beam hit the wrinkled warrior with immeasurable force. The namek stood tall, not wavering in the least. The compacted energy exploded, unleashing its tangible fury upon the rest of the fighters in the room. They were all blown back by the sheer force of it. Dust and smoke laced the room with its acrid stench and blinding clouds. Bardock, fortunately, was not in the way of it, but behind it, so even in his state was able to defend against the blast. Time passed quickly, and the clouds dissipated, leaving the others bereft of two. Thirteen had there been, eleven now stood. Without struggle, the blonde human dropped, his defenses completely penetrated by the attack. The namek was already gone.
"You monster!" screamed the Halfling girl from the grasp of her father.
The mohawked human stared knowingly at his comrade's fading body, and lowered his head. "Kami..." came the whisper. The namekian's name was Kami, and he was dead. Without warning, two words followed. "Final FLASH!"
The attack was devastating. Kao burst forward, plowing right through the beam. The green youth reared back and slugged the sun-browned human, although there seemed to be a delayed effect. The attacker had become the attacked, and the punch was taking seconds more than it should have to knock the human's face clear across his chest. Then, with a single push of a button, the human was gone. His collar flashed, a beacon of death. Kao had initiated the sequence before the rest could blink. Eleven was whittled down to ten.
"NO!" Bra roared, dashing forth in a blaze of golden light. Kao wouldn't have it. He easily dodged her maddened attempt.
"Gabriel! This isn't over! I'll be back, and you'll all pay for ruining the plan!"
Then he was gone. Bardock's chance slipped away...again. He felt the anger swelling up inside him. And then he felt no more.
"...the...hell?" the saiyan murmured, getting to his feet. The world had become completely white. There was no floor, yet his boots stood solidly. There were no walls or ceilings, or even a horizon. It was completely blank. And it was...cold. He felt an icy touch upon his skin. The atmosphere was freezing. He could see his breath steaming out from his nostrils in twin blasts, barely suppressing a shiver. The saiyan turned this way and that, gazing out into the emptiness. No, he was truly alone.
Alone. How ironic.
Even so, no doubt this was some scheme that Brim had cooked up. Another trick to mess with his mind. Damn that guy was getting annoying.
Suddenly, a thick fog began to rise in the distance. With it trailed a shadow of black. The fog loomed down upon Bardock, threatening to overbear on his presence. Strands of mist snaked across the emptiness, cloaking the white in folds of gray. A gust of wind rushed against Bardock's skin, sending chills anew quivering down his rigid body. The whiteness melted away, giving reign to black darkness, shrouded in an impenetrable mist. Bar felt his heartbeat quicken in anticipation of some terrible thing lurking in the depths. His defenses slowly rose, ebony eyes darting every which way at once. His breathing was drawn in an even rhythm. Suddenly, a darkened silhouette shimmered into existence. A large transparent outline was striding confidenly towards the defensive warrior. It was...
...Raditzu?
A ghostly figure of his eldest son walked forward. His body was strangely translucent, the colors not solid, but faded over. His booted feet made no sound as they walked along. Bardock immediately dropped any pretense of battle and stepped forth, confused.
"Raditzu...?"
The long-haired saiya-jin didn't hear him. Didn't even make eye contact. Instead, he did something far more perplexing: he walked straight through him, and kept going. Bardock gasped in surprise, and whirled around, calling out again. "Raditzu!"
What is...going on? his mind demanded, not comprehending what was happening. The patriarch turned back around as Raditzu's image faded into the fog, becoming once again just a black thing until it was gone altogether.
Another was emerging. This time it was Android 18. She was accompanied by yet another: Katel. The elemental and the android walked straight by, not once acknowledging the saiyans shouts for recognition. More people came, faces he knew. Burter Junior. This time, Bardock moved to bar his path, but the reptilian child walked straight through him, as Rad had done.
"What's happening?!" Bardock yelled at no one in particular. The people were in droves now. Scores of them, strolling along like he didn't exist. Kakarotto. Goten. Pan. Gohan. All of them were mere apparitions that floated out of the ether, but that realization hadn't quite dawned on the bronze bruiser. He ran up to each one of them, trying to clap their shoulders, or grasp them on the arm, but each time his hand passed through their phantasmal bodies. Now people he didn't even know were surrounding him. They all walked around him in different directions, their true features masked by the strange fog. Panic was starting to settle in. Not just panic, but a despair. None of them looked at him, or spoke to him. His breathing was now accelerating, coming from his chest in ragged gasps of alarm.
This isn't real.
He shook his head.
It can't be real.
Finally, he resorted to violence. He summoned a blast of energy, a generic attack. He thrust it forth into the crowd. As expected, it phased through the crowd, erupting off into the distance, its light obscured by the density of the gloom. Bardock roared in frustration. This torment was mental. Soon enough, the people vanished.
A black figure suddenly began to emerge from the silvery vapor. It was clearly robed and hooded, and as it got closer, the color of the cloth revealed that the garb was pure onyx. Bardock glared, anxious to be rid of his emotions by putting them forth on this newcomer, whom he suspected was no friend of his. The stranger seemed to be able to walk and float at the same time, not exactly a glide, but not a stride either.
"And who the hell are you?" he inquired sourly, washing away any external anxieties. It would not do well to show anything more than an ironcast warrior.
"I'm surprised you don't know."
The voice that answered was masculine, oddly familiar, yet distorted barely beyond the point of recognition. Bardock couldn't quite put a face to it.
"What do you want?"
The response was startling.
"You."
Bardock grinned, easing back into a fighting stance, motioning for a come on. "You want some? Get some!"
"You misunderstand," the voice answered, the robed wraith floating closer. "I don't want to fight. Perhaps I didn't make myself clear enough."
The voice was eloquent, dangerous but disarming. Bardock felt a coldness in the pit of his stomach.
"You're afraid, aren't you, Bardock?"
"I'm not afraid of anything," Bardock answered, casting aside the impulsive questions of how the thing knew who he was. That detail was irrelevant at this point.
"Oh, but surely you must be afraid of something. Even the most intrepid little warrior has something they fear. To be fearless, is to be empty, and you're not empty, are you?"
Games within games. The saiya-jin felt like someone was messing with him, taking control of a flighty situation to put him on edge. He wasn't falling for it.
"What do you think I'm afraid of, then?" the fighter scoffed, trying to maintain his composure. The killing impulses buzzed in his ears again, tempted him, teased him. Just kill him, they whispered. It would be so much easier. Resisting was like trying to swat away persistent flies.
The robed figure circled him slowly, observing, almost like a bird of prey. Silence flooded the fog before once more being interrupted. "Let's find out, shall we?"
With a wave of a robed arm, Bardock felt the control of his body leave him. He went completely stiff, unable to move. Even his tongue was paralyzed from protest. All he could do was breathe, move his eyes, and make little gestures with his face. Try as he might, struggle as he could, Bardock was completely helpless. The power the stranger commanded was unprecedented.
"What is the mighty saiya-jin's greatest fear?" the other pondered with implied inflection. The words sounded all too rehearsed. "I wonder..."
The circle was completed, and the black mass paused in front of him. Bardock stared hard, but could not make out any outline of visage. The voice turned almost accusing.
"Ironman. Deathdealer. Flame Bringer. Surely he must be afraid of something."
The voice changed tack, becoming calm and cool once more. "Is it death?" he asked, cocking a cowled head. A diagonally upward sweep of the covered arm, and Bardock heard a sonic boom rush towards him. When the sound hit, a wave of pain washed over his body. It felt like the top layer of his skin was being ripped off, yet no physical damage could be seen. He cried out, a strangled thing that was the only noise he could manage.
"No. Not death. Why should you? You were killed before, and made your own way back to the realm of the living. No, death is not what you fear. Perhaps then, the death of another?"
Another sweep of the arm. Again, the same pain surged through Bardock's body. He tried to squirm in the anguish, but his physique held fast.
"No, not that either," the shape conceived, pacing mildly in thought. "Death itself no longer holds any sway on mortal man. You would be enraged, but not mournful. This is not what you fear."
Why is this happening to me?
"Failure!" he blurted. "That would make perfect sense!"
He turned to Bardock, his voice anxiously inquiring. The arm waved again. "Is it failure?"
A fresh wave of agony. The saiya-jin screamed again.
"No. It wouldn't be, would it? You detest failure, loathe it. Failure denotes weakness, something you cannot abide by. But you do not fear it. Fear would prevent you from taking action, something of which you are quite capable of doing. How stubborn you are."
Why is he doing this?
The man was pacing again. "We are getting closer, I think."
He paused for a moment, then resumed to look at the pathetic figure that stood paralyzed before him. "How about...being alone, hmm?"
A wave. The pain. With each question came the same thing. Although nothing could be seen, it felt like the black-haired brawler was being flayed alive.
"Not being alone. You've been alone practically all your life. You are accustomed to it. It is desire for companionship, not fear of being alone. Despair is not fear."
Every time an inquiry was rejected, the figure spoke words. Words that seemed to come straight from Bardock's head. Like he could peer into his mind, glean the very secrets that lie there that were hidden even from the saiyan's eyes. How could he see? How could he know?
Things proceeded much more quickly. The robed figure was now spouting off words in a much louder tone, waving his arms like mad, and sending Bardock into droves of anguish. Each word was accentuated by a fresh howl that broke free of his lips.
"Rejection?! Destiny?! Insanity?! Loss?! Incompetence?! WHAT?!"
All these things Bardock had privately contemplated, wondering in the darkest reaches of his mind if he truly was afraid of them.
"How about deception?! Inadequacy?! Love?! Abuse?! Desire?! Weakness?! Inability?! Domination?! Pain?! Good?! Evil?! TELL ME!!"
I can't...I can't...
The cloaked man stopped his rave, coming to rest before Bardock once more. The proud saiya-jin refused to be broken. "You coat yourself in iron. But your armor has become...soft. Where is the weak point, Bardock?"
A skeletal hand emerged from the folds of the robe.
"Is it here?"
The hand came in swiftly and punched Bardock in the stomach, so hard that it knocked the breath from his lungs, leaving him gasping for air. As if by magic, the bonds that held him fast loosened, and the fighter dropped to the floor, clutching his midsection, wheezing. A bony finger beckoned him to rise, and the saiyan was placed under control again. His arms fell loosely to his sides, and his chin jutted forward, head rolled back.
Body.
"How about here?" the voice whispered, pushing on Bardock's temple.
He felt a cold surge flood his brain, confusing him, twisting and turning his thoughts. It was not difficult to do; Bardock could easily confuse himself on any given day.
Mind.
"No. Then it must be...here!"
Two fingers jabbed at the breastplate of his armor, tapping the cold metal. The second the fingers touched, an agony like no other ravaged his chest. The digits felt like a hot knife, searing straight into his heart and then letting loose a viral poison that threatened the essence of his very soul. Bardock screamed. Screamed until his voice was hoarse. Screamed so hard that tears began to roll down his face. Slowly, the figure had been chipping away at him, peeling off the layers of armor and deceit that he had surrounded himself with. But at last, at last he had been found out.
Heart.
But by whom?
The invisible chains were released, and he dropped once more, but because he had let himself.
"Your heart, Bardock. That is what you fear. You have been without compassion for so long, and it has been worming its way into every fiber of your being. You second guess yourself. You cannot understand these feelings, and thereby do not understand anyone else. Your mind is confused because your heart is torn, torn between being locked away as an icy stone, or beating freely with emotions. Anger, vengeance, hatred...these have come easily, as it does for all saiyans, but anything else is foreign to your primitive brain. You are a thing of the past, a relic, a primal creature trying to survive in a modern world. All you knew of was the fight. You lived and died by the fist. But you feel a taste of something more, don't you?"
The hand grabbed a fistful of his obsidian hair, forcing his head up.
"Don't you?"
Ruthlessly, the stranger slammed his face down into what was the equivalent of ground, smashing his face in. "You taste it, and you're scared."
Bardock knew very little. But he did know anger. A swell of it had been building up inside him. He would not be defeated by this. He rose with lighting speed before the mysterious one could place a binding spell over him again. Bardock grasped a shoulder with one calloused hand, and the other ripped off the hood. His stomach dropped, as well as his jaw. A roughened face leered back at him, and Bardock stepped away, moving backwards. The fog began to fade, the blackness giving way to the white again. All that had come before receded, leaving the emptiness again. That face...
The face was his.
"Surprised?" his clone asked, all obscuring of the voice dropping away to sound out his own gruff tone. "I thought it was obvious."
Bardock's jaw quavered, searching for words. It became clear to him now, where he was: the landscape of his mind. It was symbolic, all of it. The fog was the haze that had settled over his mind, the mist that clouded and confuddled every thought that crossed his consciousness. The people...they were only from his memories, his desires, his perceptions. He didn't think they saw him or cared about him, and so those apparitions had not. It was the most recent trouble that had settled on his brain, so it was what he saw.
"Not everything is as simple as fighting. There are things much more complicated. You fear your heart, and in essence, yourself. You fear to let yourself feel for others, but not because of the rejection, but simply because you don't understand it. It's so...human," the other sneered, spitting out the hated word. The skeletal hand reached up, the pale, bony thing rejuvenating and becoming a youthful, tanned appendage. "But I have come to end your suffering, Bardock. I have come to end it all."
Bardock knew that if he took that hand, he was forever lost. It would be so easy.
"Burter Junior and Goten are dead. Burter left to find his real father. Goten was brutally slain by Kao. Did you not swear to protect them? Well, it looks like you failed. Again. Katel doesn't want you. Raditzu and Kakarotto don't need you. Eighteen doesn't want to be your friend. You are nothing in this world, or any other. You fear your feelings, but your feelings are wasted on those who don't return them."
Bardock shook his head.
"Isn't it funny? Funny how you betrayed those willing to befriend you, and then the only ones you've actually wanted don't care? Funny how you can't stand the brother but want to befriend the sister."
The saiya-jin hadn't even considered the connection between Seventeen and Eighteen. But now his duplicate was mocking him. For being so insightful, he should have known better than to mock him.
"Shut up," he whispered dangerously to his robed counterpart. He strayed on the edge of patience. One more push. One more, that was all he needed.
"Take my hand, Bardock. You realized what was wrong all along far too late. Why feel? You were right to be afraid. You shouldn't feel at all."
"No."
The other saiya-jin dropped the hand, scoffing at his other self. "Do you really hope to overcome me?" His voice dropped to a whisper. "I am the doubt that lurks in your heart. I am your greatest fear."
Time seemed to slow down. Without warning, Bardock began to dive at his opponent, a look of pure determination plastered on his face. He had gotten this far on that alone, and it would always be his saving grace. No matter what happened to him, he wouldn't be overcome. He wouldn't let himself be beaten, even if it was by his own heart. Time slowed to the point where he was almost frozen in mid-air. He'd had enough.
"Kao!"
He knew that face instantly. The son of Brim had finally come. There was no pause, no hesitation. This was Bardock's fight, and the teenage son of a bitch wasn't going anywhere. The saiyan leapt high into the air, unable to contain himself any longer. He was living in the moment, rage boiling in his blood. A powerful right arm cocked back, ready to let loose some savage mayhem on the green youth.
All it took was a swift swing of Kao's arm, and Bardock was thrust aside. A skinny arm struck the saiya-jin's midsection, arching his body sideways and knocking the wind out of him. Bardock was flung into a wall, where he slammed into the stone and dropped unceremoniously into a heap, disoriented. Even a direct confrontation had not changed things. Kao's strength was completely overwhelming, and he had not had the element of surprise this time. Three simple blows, and Bardock had been felled by them all. This was intolerable.
"You have all ruined it! You will pay for ending it!" the producer's son screamed.
He summoned and fired a beam of power with unnatural speed, the massive energy output insanely unreal. Raditzu moved forward to take it head on, but the old namekian beat him to it. It was so stupid. A kamikaze, just like Burter. Sure enough, the beam hit the wrinkled warrior with immeasurable force. The namek stood tall, not wavering in the least. The compacted energy exploded, unleashing its tangible fury upon the rest of the fighters in the room. They were all blown back by the sheer force of it. Dust and smoke laced the room with its acrid stench and blinding clouds. Bardock, fortunately, was not in the way of it, but behind it, so even in his state was able to defend against the blast. Time passed quickly, and the clouds dissipated, leaving the others bereft of two. Thirteen had there been, eleven now stood. Without struggle, the blonde human dropped, his defenses completely penetrated by the attack. The namek was already gone.
"You monster!" screamed the Halfling girl from the grasp of her father.
The mohawked human stared knowingly at his comrade's fading body, and lowered his head. "Kami..." came the whisper. The namekian's name was Kami, and he was dead. Without warning, two words followed. "Final FLASH!"
The attack was devastating. Kao burst forward, plowing right through the beam. The green youth reared back and slugged the sun-browned human, although there seemed to be a delayed effect. The attacker had become the attacked, and the punch was taking seconds more than it should have to knock the human's face clear across his chest. Then, with a single push of a button, the human was gone. His collar flashed, a beacon of death. Kao had initiated the sequence before the rest could blink. Eleven was whittled down to ten.
"NO!" Bra roared, dashing forth in a blaze of golden light. Kao wouldn't have it. He easily dodged her maddened attempt.
"Gabriel! This isn't over! I'll be back, and you'll all pay for ruining the plan!"
Then he was gone. Bardock's chance slipped away...again. He felt the anger swelling up inside him. And then he felt no more.
"...the...hell?" the saiyan murmured, getting to his feet. The world had become completely white. There was no floor, yet his boots stood solidly. There were no walls or ceilings, or even a horizon. It was completely blank. And it was...cold. He felt an icy touch upon his skin. The atmosphere was freezing. He could see his breath steaming out from his nostrils in twin blasts, barely suppressing a shiver. The saiyan turned this way and that, gazing out into the emptiness. No, he was truly alone.
Alone. How ironic.
Even so, no doubt this was some scheme that Brim had cooked up. Another trick to mess with his mind. Damn that guy was getting annoying.
Suddenly, a thick fog began to rise in the distance. With it trailed a shadow of black. The fog loomed down upon Bardock, threatening to overbear on his presence. Strands of mist snaked across the emptiness, cloaking the white in folds of gray. A gust of wind rushed against Bardock's skin, sending chills anew quivering down his rigid body. The whiteness melted away, giving reign to black darkness, shrouded in an impenetrable mist. Bar felt his heartbeat quicken in anticipation of some terrible thing lurking in the depths. His defenses slowly rose, ebony eyes darting every which way at once. His breathing was drawn in an even rhythm. Suddenly, a darkened silhouette shimmered into existence. A large transparent outline was striding confidenly towards the defensive warrior. It was...
...Raditzu?
A ghostly figure of his eldest son walked forward. His body was strangely translucent, the colors not solid, but faded over. His booted feet made no sound as they walked along. Bardock immediately dropped any pretense of battle and stepped forth, confused.
"Raditzu...?"
The long-haired saiya-jin didn't hear him. Didn't even make eye contact. Instead, he did something far more perplexing: he walked straight through him, and kept going. Bardock gasped in surprise, and whirled around, calling out again. "Raditzu!"
What is...going on? his mind demanded, not comprehending what was happening. The patriarch turned back around as Raditzu's image faded into the fog, becoming once again just a black thing until it was gone altogether.
Another was emerging. This time it was Android 18. She was accompanied by yet another: Katel. The elemental and the android walked straight by, not once acknowledging the saiyans shouts for recognition. More people came, faces he knew. Burter Junior. This time, Bardock moved to bar his path, but the reptilian child walked straight through him, as Rad had done.
"What's happening?!" Bardock yelled at no one in particular. The people were in droves now. Scores of them, strolling along like he didn't exist. Kakarotto. Goten. Pan. Gohan. All of them were mere apparitions that floated out of the ether, but that realization hadn't quite dawned on the bronze bruiser. He ran up to each one of them, trying to clap their shoulders, or grasp them on the arm, but each time his hand passed through their phantasmal bodies. Now people he didn't even know were surrounding him. They all walked around him in different directions, their true features masked by the strange fog. Panic was starting to settle in. Not just panic, but a despair. None of them looked at him, or spoke to him. His breathing was now accelerating, coming from his chest in ragged gasps of alarm.
This isn't real.
He shook his head.
It can't be real.
Finally, he resorted to violence. He summoned a blast of energy, a generic attack. He thrust it forth into the crowd. As expected, it phased through the crowd, erupting off into the distance, its light obscured by the density of the gloom. Bardock roared in frustration. This torment was mental. Soon enough, the people vanished.
A black figure suddenly began to emerge from the silvery vapor. It was clearly robed and hooded, and as it got closer, the color of the cloth revealed that the garb was pure onyx. Bardock glared, anxious to be rid of his emotions by putting them forth on this newcomer, whom he suspected was no friend of his. The stranger seemed to be able to walk and float at the same time, not exactly a glide, but not a stride either.
"And who the hell are you?" he inquired sourly, washing away any external anxieties. It would not do well to show anything more than an ironcast warrior.
"I'm surprised you don't know."
The voice that answered was masculine, oddly familiar, yet distorted barely beyond the point of recognition. Bardock couldn't quite put a face to it.
"What do you want?"
The response was startling.
"You."
Bardock grinned, easing back into a fighting stance, motioning for a come on. "You want some? Get some!"
"You misunderstand," the voice answered, the robed wraith floating closer. "I don't want to fight. Perhaps I didn't make myself clear enough."
The voice was eloquent, dangerous but disarming. Bardock felt a coldness in the pit of his stomach.
"You're afraid, aren't you, Bardock?"
"I'm not afraid of anything," Bardock answered, casting aside the impulsive questions of how the thing knew who he was. That detail was irrelevant at this point.
"Oh, but surely you must be afraid of something. Even the most intrepid little warrior has something they fear. To be fearless, is to be empty, and you're not empty, are you?"
Games within games. The saiya-jin felt like someone was messing with him, taking control of a flighty situation to put him on edge. He wasn't falling for it.
"What do you think I'm afraid of, then?" the fighter scoffed, trying to maintain his composure. The killing impulses buzzed in his ears again, tempted him, teased him. Just kill him, they whispered. It would be so much easier. Resisting was like trying to swat away persistent flies.
The robed figure circled him slowly, observing, almost like a bird of prey. Silence flooded the fog before once more being interrupted. "Let's find out, shall we?"
With a wave of a robed arm, Bardock felt the control of his body leave him. He went completely stiff, unable to move. Even his tongue was paralyzed from protest. All he could do was breathe, move his eyes, and make little gestures with his face. Try as he might, struggle as he could, Bardock was completely helpless. The power the stranger commanded was unprecedented.
"What is the mighty saiya-jin's greatest fear?" the other pondered with implied inflection. The words sounded all too rehearsed. "I wonder..."
The circle was completed, and the black mass paused in front of him. Bardock stared hard, but could not make out any outline of visage. The voice turned almost accusing.
"Ironman. Deathdealer. Flame Bringer. Surely he must be afraid of something."
The voice changed tack, becoming calm and cool once more. "Is it death?" he asked, cocking a cowled head. A diagonally upward sweep of the covered arm, and Bardock heard a sonic boom rush towards him. When the sound hit, a wave of pain washed over his body. It felt like the top layer of his skin was being ripped off, yet no physical damage could be seen. He cried out, a strangled thing that was the only noise he could manage.
"No. Not death. Why should you? You were killed before, and made your own way back to the realm of the living. No, death is not what you fear. Perhaps then, the death of another?"
Another sweep of the arm. Again, the same pain surged through Bardock's body. He tried to squirm in the anguish, but his physique held fast.
"No, not that either," the shape conceived, pacing mildly in thought. "Death itself no longer holds any sway on mortal man. You would be enraged, but not mournful. This is not what you fear."
Why is this happening to me?
"Failure!" he blurted. "That would make perfect sense!"
He turned to Bardock, his voice anxiously inquiring. The arm waved again. "Is it failure?"
A fresh wave of agony. The saiya-jin screamed again.
"No. It wouldn't be, would it? You detest failure, loathe it. Failure denotes weakness, something you cannot abide by. But you do not fear it. Fear would prevent you from taking action, something of which you are quite capable of doing. How stubborn you are."
Why is he doing this?
The man was pacing again. "We are getting closer, I think."
He paused for a moment, then resumed to look at the pathetic figure that stood paralyzed before him. "How about...being alone, hmm?"
A wave. The pain. With each question came the same thing. Although nothing could be seen, it felt like the black-haired brawler was being flayed alive.
"Not being alone. You've been alone practically all your life. You are accustomed to it. It is desire for companionship, not fear of being alone. Despair is not fear."
Every time an inquiry was rejected, the figure spoke words. Words that seemed to come straight from Bardock's head. Like he could peer into his mind, glean the very secrets that lie there that were hidden even from the saiyan's eyes. How could he see? How could he know?
Things proceeded much more quickly. The robed figure was now spouting off words in a much louder tone, waving his arms like mad, and sending Bardock into droves of anguish. Each word was accentuated by a fresh howl that broke free of his lips.
"Rejection?! Destiny?! Insanity?! Loss?! Incompetence?! WHAT?!"
All these things Bardock had privately contemplated, wondering in the darkest reaches of his mind if he truly was afraid of them.
"How about deception?! Inadequacy?! Love?! Abuse?! Desire?! Weakness?! Inability?! Domination?! Pain?! Good?! Evil?! TELL ME!!"
I can't...I can't...
The cloaked man stopped his rave, coming to rest before Bardock once more. The proud saiya-jin refused to be broken. "You coat yourself in iron. But your armor has become...soft. Where is the weak point, Bardock?"
A skeletal hand emerged from the folds of the robe.
"Is it here?"
The hand came in swiftly and punched Bardock in the stomach, so hard that it knocked the breath from his lungs, leaving him gasping for air. As if by magic, the bonds that held him fast loosened, and the fighter dropped to the floor, clutching his midsection, wheezing. A bony finger beckoned him to rise, and the saiyan was placed under control again. His arms fell loosely to his sides, and his chin jutted forward, head rolled back.
Body.
"How about here?" the voice whispered, pushing on Bardock's temple.
He felt a cold surge flood his brain, confusing him, twisting and turning his thoughts. It was not difficult to do; Bardock could easily confuse himself on any given day.
Mind.
"No. Then it must be...here!"
Two fingers jabbed at the breastplate of his armor, tapping the cold metal. The second the fingers touched, an agony like no other ravaged his chest. The digits felt like a hot knife, searing straight into his heart and then letting loose a viral poison that threatened the essence of his very soul. Bardock screamed. Screamed until his voice was hoarse. Screamed so hard that tears began to roll down his face. Slowly, the figure had been chipping away at him, peeling off the layers of armor and deceit that he had surrounded himself with. But at last, at last he had been found out.
Heart.
But by whom?
The invisible chains were released, and he dropped once more, but because he had let himself.
"Your heart, Bardock. That is what you fear. You have been without compassion for so long, and it has been worming its way into every fiber of your being. You second guess yourself. You cannot understand these feelings, and thereby do not understand anyone else. Your mind is confused because your heart is torn, torn between being locked away as an icy stone, or beating freely with emotions. Anger, vengeance, hatred...these have come easily, as it does for all saiyans, but anything else is foreign to your primitive brain. You are a thing of the past, a relic, a primal creature trying to survive in a modern world. All you knew of was the fight. You lived and died by the fist. But you feel a taste of something more, don't you?"
The hand grabbed a fistful of his obsidian hair, forcing his head up.
"Don't you?"
Ruthlessly, the stranger slammed his face down into what was the equivalent of ground, smashing his face in. "You taste it, and you're scared."
Bardock knew very little. But he did know anger. A swell of it had been building up inside him. He would not be defeated by this. He rose with lighting speed before the mysterious one could place a binding spell over him again. Bardock grasped a shoulder with one calloused hand, and the other ripped off the hood. His stomach dropped, as well as his jaw. A roughened face leered back at him, and Bardock stepped away, moving backwards. The fog began to fade, the blackness giving way to the white again. All that had come before receded, leaving the emptiness again. That face...
The face was his.
"Surprised?" his clone asked, all obscuring of the voice dropping away to sound out his own gruff tone. "I thought it was obvious."
Bardock's jaw quavered, searching for words. It became clear to him now, where he was: the landscape of his mind. It was symbolic, all of it. The fog was the haze that had settled over his mind, the mist that clouded and confuddled every thought that crossed his consciousness. The people...they were only from his memories, his desires, his perceptions. He didn't think they saw him or cared about him, and so those apparitions had not. It was the most recent trouble that had settled on his brain, so it was what he saw.
"Not everything is as simple as fighting. There are things much more complicated. You fear your heart, and in essence, yourself. You fear to let yourself feel for others, but not because of the rejection, but simply because you don't understand it. It's so...human," the other sneered, spitting out the hated word. The skeletal hand reached up, the pale, bony thing rejuvenating and becoming a youthful, tanned appendage. "But I have come to end your suffering, Bardock. I have come to end it all."
Bardock knew that if he took that hand, he was forever lost. It would be so easy.
"Burter Junior and Goten are dead. Burter left to find his real father. Goten was brutally slain by Kao. Did you not swear to protect them? Well, it looks like you failed. Again. Katel doesn't want you. Raditzu and Kakarotto don't need you. Eighteen doesn't want to be your friend. You are nothing in this world, or any other. You fear your feelings, but your feelings are wasted on those who don't return them."
Bardock shook his head.
"Isn't it funny? Funny how you betrayed those willing to befriend you, and then the only ones you've actually wanted don't care? Funny how you can't stand the brother but want to befriend the sister."
The saiya-jin hadn't even considered the connection between Seventeen and Eighteen. But now his duplicate was mocking him. For being so insightful, he should have known better than to mock him.
"Shut up," he whispered dangerously to his robed counterpart. He strayed on the edge of patience. One more push. One more, that was all he needed.
"Take my hand, Bardock. You realized what was wrong all along far too late. Why feel? You were right to be afraid. You shouldn't feel at all."
"No."
The other saiya-jin dropped the hand, scoffing at his other self. "Do you really hope to overcome me?" His voice dropped to a whisper. "I am the doubt that lurks in your heart. I am your greatest fear."
Time seemed to slow down. Without warning, Bardock began to dive at his opponent, a look of pure determination plastered on his face. He had gotten this far on that alone, and it would always be his saving grace. No matter what happened to him, he wouldn't be overcome. He wouldn't let himself be beaten, even if it was by his own heart. Time slowed to the point where he was almost frozen in mid-air. He'd had enough.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
_=Pass you by, it's all in this life you have
Pass you by, good-bye to you=_
Pass you by, good-bye to you=_
