"Mary Sue"

[Ashe]

My little cousin, who apparently is into this shit, told me that the guy could read minds. That, and he apparently SPARKLES or something when he gets hit by sunlight instead of bursting into flames. Bleh, I say. Bleh.

Entirely true. It's how you can tell its written by a girl, the Sparkly Vampires and the cute fuzzy Werewolves.

Additionally, the main character suffers entirely from unique snowflake syndrome. As in, the entire freakin' basis and REASON that Edward becomes just oh so attracted to her is because he reads minds, and yet can't read her's. That's it.

They have nothing in common, no reason to like each other. Its a gothic kid's dream, because it boils down to "Edward is so mysterious and different from everyone, diary, but you wouldn't understand" and Edward's writing on his livejournal with "Bella is so mysterious and different diary, but no one understands".

That said, I think that it could have been a decent story - without Bella. The movie wasn't really horrid, just beyond predictable and flat out dumb in some parts (zomg sparkles, followed by "/cry I'm ugly" "no, you're so beautiful!" "/sob really?").

And all the little goth kids obsessing over it are dumb as well. Even my younger cousin who started becoming more goth lick is now absolutely obsessed with it. Won't read anything else you hand her, but obsesses over anything Twilight. Doesn't seem to realize that this is entirely a replacement fad for Harry Potter since HP finished being written.

Then a coworker (short fat bitch girl) was bitching up a storm the other night when it was released that she didn't care if we lost tips, she was going to go demand our customers pay out early at the end of the night because she absolutely had to get one of the first copies of the movie before it sold out because that's what real fans do. So someone asked her a week after if she'd had a chance to see it yet (because she's reading the author's new The Host book now and talking about how its just so mindblowingly innovative and new) and she responds (with this absolute seriousness and *VERY WEIRD* that lustful look as if you asked her about sex or how great chocolate tastes) "Oh yeah... I've watched it every night since I got it, plus this morning before coming into work. Its just such a good movie and book, she's the best author we'll see in our lifetime." The dude stared at her for a moment, and despite liking the books himself (out of character for him), he just goes "...you've got problems." Of course, this is the same girl that started smoking so she could hang around the managers after work and when confronted by her brother about how weird it was that she smoked now, she got excited and goes "Yeah, it makes me look older doesn't it?" with total sincerity.

TLDR: Dumb naive bitches obsess over Twilight.