[C&C] Sophia

[Sage]

Hokay. Here goes:

At first, Sophie bored me. She was just like, some chick going through the motions of life and I was like "why should I care about you, Sophia?" and she didn't give me a reason.

But as you developed and solidified her personality, Sophia became exceptionally identifiable. Perhaps my interpretation is wrong, but I see this woman who believes in a greater good and has dedicated her life to trying to measure up to this noble standard, when her foundation is suddenly pulled out from under her.

Sophia goes from a pious priestess to a girl who's, more or less, completely unsure about everything she's ever known.

Her fall from grace isn't just emotional, either. In what felt like natural progression, your character becomes more violent, more confident. I would hardly say she's become evil but if there was a sliding scale that went from 'Pure' to 'Malevolent', she's starting to slide away from the 'Pure' end of the bar.

What I like most about Sophia is she doesn't do anything that makes me go "what the hell?" or cringe at how out-of-character something she did was. You always maintain a realistic approach to her actions and reactions, even as her perception of the world and her reactions to her changing perceptions shift as you go.

In many ways, your character has followed a similar progression to Kaden's. A slowly darkening view of the world and cautiously darker reactions to it.

To me, it seems she's become lost, and confused. It will be interesting to see where you go with your character after she claws her way out of the afterlife.

As far as criticism... really the only thing I can think of is that you go through the occasional 'dead spot' where Sophia's doing something but it doesn't really seem important. There's nothing driving the action and it seems forced.

For instance, your King Kai quests are a little dry. Not that I blame you. Doing chores for a fat blue guy isn't exactly the most mind-blowing premise to work with. You kind of get shafted a little.

But this problem is inherent in just about everyone's work. I don't even know what you could do to correct it, so this is unfortunately not very useful for you.