[C&C] Vad

[Vad]

I'm kidding, relax. I do have mixed feelings about her, as a mechnic, but there's absolutely no denying that you've made it obvious how important she is to Vad. She plays a very integral part of Vad as a character. It helps give a glimpse into Vad's more... normal side. My problem is that she comes off as... hmmm... I think "fake" is the word I'm looking for.

Vad, as a character, has crazy baggage that's readily apparent to the reader. Trixie, on the other hand, seems relatively normal -- talking personality, not the whole demon-who-lives-in-his-head thing. Is she just as damaged? Was she originally into Vad because of how messed up he is? Are we supposed to care?

Out curiosity to the above mentioned section did you happen to read The Love of a Mistress and/or Broken Reality? If you did, then that critique is appreciated greatly because I know I need to improve. (Either way, thanks a bunch =D)

To my knowledge I wrote the history between Vad and Trixie. That's demon realm stuff and is located somewhat in the The Love of a Mistress and mostly in Broken Reality.

To give you a short summary here:

Trixie met Vad while she was in high school in the Demon Realm. (Should probably write her own bio, eh? Plus I haven't completed the...compiled version of Vad's history yet)

Trixie was living a normal demon life (my version of the demon and crud), anyway, she lost her boyfriend to a car wreck. Vad started appearing in the demon realm because he was imprisoned physically and the dimension pulled his mind into it. -- Even as I'm writing this it's coming off weird, I haven't fleshed this out. It's all on paper, I just need to revise it and get it out of my mind. -- Anyway, she meets him, he offers her a new life.

It's really a girl meets boy story. The realm is oppressing Trixie because she's slowly going mad with the death of her boyfriend. Ditching school and her life to embrace Vad's mind she exits the demon realm. The first occurrence to her outside the realm with Vad is written in the first Retribution thread. They assault the facility together.

Thanks for the Critique Kaden, I wrote all this to answer any questions you might have had, or not. I enjoy that people find him interesting.

Thanks.