11-09-2009, 02:39 PM
8/10
One of the best RPs that i've read for this competition thus far. I loved the description in the memory. I enjoyed how you kept things vague, yet hinted at enough so the reader has some idea as to what is going on - even if Orion may not have. The section of your RP that takes place in the present was very good, especially for a first RP when no one really knows what is going on yet, and we're all just looking for RP fodder. I like how you tied in the pregame events, and gave the reader a taste of Orion's personality and his mentality by showing how he wanted to be here, and how he planned on being the hunter, not the hunted. The butcher shop and the intersection description was a nice touch, giving some description and some reality to your surroundings so that the city felt like an actual city and not just some cardboard cut out for the characters to play around in.
Not too much criticism i can give for this RP. It wasn't the most creative, but it was a well-written, almost conservative introduction piece that let the readers get a taste of Orion's past, as well as his present personality. Well done.
http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showpost.ph...ostcount=4
One of the best RPs that i've read for this competition thus far. I loved the description in the memory. I enjoyed how you kept things vague, yet hinted at enough so the reader has some idea as to what is going on - even if Orion may not have. The section of your RP that takes place in the present was very good, especially for a first RP when no one really knows what is going on yet, and we're all just looking for RP fodder. I like how you tied in the pregame events, and gave the reader a taste of Orion's personality and his mentality by showing how he wanted to be here, and how he planned on being the hunter, not the hunted. The butcher shop and the intersection description was a nice touch, giving some description and some reality to your surroundings so that the city felt like an actual city and not just some cardboard cut out for the characters to play around in.
Not too much criticism i can give for this RP. It wasn't the most creative, but it was a well-written, almost conservative introduction piece that let the readers get a taste of Orion's past, as well as his present personality. Well done.
http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showpost.ph...ostcount=4
![[Image: alext.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v234/waffuru/alext.jpg)