You're starting to do exactly what I wanted you to do--you're making Sage less annoyingly timid and more rawrwtfawesome (or, in other words, more like what a normal person with super powers would be). This is a good thing in my book, obviously, as Sage was pretty predictable in the past. In DA, though, I couldn't predict what you would do next. The complexities of Sage's feelings towards Sol made things interesting, and it was one of the more interesting storylines in the saga in my opinion.
You're allowing the reader to dwell into Sage's past along with you by doing as many flashbacks as you do. It kind of bogs down posts at times (your post in the first part of the finale was, like, what: 75% flashback?), but I think the depth that you're constantly adding to your character makes it worth it and, ultimately, more rewarding. The reader will always remember important events more than the quality of a single post.
You haven't changed as a writer since I last gave you C&C, but I'll reiterate. Your writing is wonderfully stylized, and you have a knack for writing fiction. You really understand how to connect with your audience, and you (usually) effectively use flashbacks to give your posts almost a memoir kind of feeling. Your grammar is near-perfect, your vocabulary is top-notch, and I can almost always imagine the setting in which your posts take place. So...yeah. I guess you're pretty decent as a writer, you bastard. <3
Obviously, winning DA was a big step for you. You really showed some clutch writing, so to speak, and even the things you seemed to rush or the things you thought sucked were pretty enjoyable.
Um...I like the relationships that you've built with other characters. I definitely like the variety of characters that Sage interacts with (it would be boring if all Sage did was talk to Xenia). Ashe, for example, is kind of a touching relationship in a way, and I always greatly enjoyed all their interactions. Basically, keep it up, and don't be afraid to make connections with seemingly conflicting personalities, like you did with Vad.
You probably already know this, but it's best to pace yourself when making your transition with Sage. I know I rush developments all the time out of Sophia, but the transition I'm talking with Sage--changing from a traumatized, shy little girl into an assertive, confident young woman--is actually pretty legit, if that's what you're indeed going for. I think how well you make that transition will ultimately define your character, and how your character is viewed in the annals of Chubbs lore. Okay, that's a little overdramatic, but you get the picture. In any case, I'm really interested in seeing what's going to happen with the whole Sol/space prostitution thing leads.
So...yeah. Want to C&C me in return? I'M ASKING FOR IT.
EDIT: I'd like to know the same things that you wanted to know, more or less.
You're allowing the reader to dwell into Sage's past along with you by doing as many flashbacks as you do. It kind of bogs down posts at times (your post in the first part of the finale was, like, what: 75% flashback?), but I think the depth that you're constantly adding to your character makes it worth it and, ultimately, more rewarding. The reader will always remember important events more than the quality of a single post.
You haven't changed as a writer since I last gave you C&C, but I'll reiterate. Your writing is wonderfully stylized, and you have a knack for writing fiction. You really understand how to connect with your audience, and you (usually) effectively use flashbacks to give your posts almost a memoir kind of feeling. Your grammar is near-perfect, your vocabulary is top-notch, and I can almost always imagine the setting in which your posts take place. So...yeah. I guess you're pretty decent as a writer, you bastard. <3
Obviously, winning DA was a big step for you. You really showed some clutch writing, so to speak, and even the things you seemed to rush or the things you thought sucked were pretty enjoyable.
Um...I like the relationships that you've built with other characters. I definitely like the variety of characters that Sage interacts with (it would be boring if all Sage did was talk to Xenia). Ashe, for example, is kind of a touching relationship in a way, and I always greatly enjoyed all their interactions. Basically, keep it up, and don't be afraid to make connections with seemingly conflicting personalities, like you did with Vad.
You probably already know this, but it's best to pace yourself when making your transition with Sage. I know I rush developments all the time out of Sophia, but the transition I'm talking with Sage--changing from a traumatized, shy little girl into an assertive, confident young woman--is actually pretty legit, if that's what you're indeed going for. I think how well you make that transition will ultimately define your character, and how your character is viewed in the annals of Chubbs lore. Okay, that's a little overdramatic, but you get the picture. In any case, I'm really interested in seeing what's going to happen with the whole Sol/space prostitution thing leads.
So...yeah. Want to C&C me in return? I'M ASKING FOR IT.
EDIT: I'd like to know the same things that you wanted to know, more or less.